Tuesday, March 14, 2023


 I rarely remember dreams. Usually if I have a disturbing dream, I just wake up and know it was a dream.

However, I had the most realistic and terrifying dream the other night and it bothered me for 24 hours.

I was sitting in an airport and I looked down at my ticket I had in my hand. I knew I was travelling somewhere but Raleigh was not familiar to me. I looked at the departure board and couldn't decide if I was going to Raleigh North Carolina, or should I be going to Raleigh in W. Virginia. I knew if I was flying east it should be to Charlottesville if anywhere. At least I thought so.

In my other hand was a folder with pictures of people in it. I carefully studied the photos and I didn't recognize any of the folks. No matter how hard I looked, nothing was familiar. In my other hand the ticket said Raleigh. The flight board didn't have any Raleigh showing.

Now I was confused. Where was I going and who were the people I had photos of?

People were walking around me and I didn't know want to look as though I were lost or confused so I just kept my head down.

The feeling of dread and anxiety just kept getting worse until I was ready to flee.

I woke up.

I got up and went to sit in the living room. I knew it was a dream. But where was I going and WHO were those people? What was up with Raleigh? Why would I even remember that? Those people! Just strangers!

I made coffee and sat down to have my first cup. 

It hit me then. What I had been feeling and the whole dream scenario would possibly be just like what it could be to have Dementia.
It was terrifying. So terrifying that the feeling of loss and confusion over something I should know [even though it was a dream] hung with me all day.

I can't imagine living in that world and coming in and out of memory issues like that. However, I have seen it more than once in my life dealing with elderly folks I know.

Can you imagine it?

-- Well if that wasn't a bummer, I don't know what is.

Oh wait! I have a diversion!
The new motor that was replaced in the heater started making noise again. Enough so that it gave me a headache and I returned to the space heaters for blissful silence on this 2 degree morning.

So the $$$ I spent lasted exactly 6 days. I expect that perhaps that motor was only part of the issue? Just call me a bit disappointed and frustrated. 


  1. Well, damn. I worked in geriatrics for years, so I know dementia, but it's hard to actually put yourself in it. That dream would have bummed me out. I hope you are feeling better.

    1. Oh the headaches come and go right now, I think from needing to get my eye check up. I think I'll do better with some regular glasses so I can keep them on my face and not have to grab cheaters and try to look over them for distance.
      The dream doesn't feel so awful now, but it was intense for a day!

  2. That tree root person...yikes! As someone who believes things happen for a reason, dreams make me wonder too.

    Truly hope you get your heater figured out.

    1. Yeah that was an AI text to image thing of a nightmare in the shape of tree person!

      I thought for sure the dream meant I lost my mind. Weird.
      The tech thinks the motor he got was bad and will get another.
      I just want things to dry out and get nicer so we can get moving on the mini split.

  3. Dreams can have an emotional impact on us for sure. I try not to set store in dreams.
    Hope a new motor fixes the problem!

  4. You had a really bad dream, our mind is always active. I have dreams sometimes that follow me all day. Hope the fellow brings you a new motor:(

    1. Well I guess they have to return and order this 'new' motor? It may be a couple of weeks!


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