Monday, June 27, 2005


Originally uploaded by Xena~.

I awoke Sunday morning during a terrible downpour of rain, the wind was slashing, the thunder rolling...lightening had struck in the woods close by.

I looked out the window and saw through the rain, a baby donkey, we had been awaiting her birth for weeks. We donned raincoats and ran out.

Her one leg has constricted tendons in them. We hope to keep her healthy by bracing her leg so she can nurse efficiently and doing massage therapy and physical therapy one or more times a day.

Life follows death. Elma's birth reminded me of that. The cycle continues on.

Saturday, June 25, 2005


Originally uploaded by Xena~.

April 29th 1918~June 24th 2005. 87 years young.
Dad died yesterday and we will never understand the circumstances. Apparently he silently slide out of the house and made his way through my brother's yard and to the in ground pool. He unlocked the gate...which is an amazing feat for a legally blind man.
He was dressed in swimming trunks so he must have meant to go there. Dad could not swim and hadn't been near the pool in years. In fact he wouldn't go there unless someone was with him.

My sister in law looked out her window and saw dad floating face down.
Dad was dead. The coroner will try and figure out if he had a heart attack or he drowned.

I think he must have wanted to go by the pool for what ever reason and perhaps slipped and fell in.

The end result is the same. I lost my Dad, my photography cheerleader and much loved admirer.

I cannot bring him back, except in pictures. I love you Dad.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Peek a boo

peek a boo
Originally uploaded by Xena~.

She makes my heart sing, she makes my eyes dance...she makes me wish I were young again...she makes my eyes cloud over ... a bit misty, I think...she makes me remember warm summer nights with grandma, she makes me think fondly of 'old' thoughts and memories...she brings joy to every momment we share.
She is Ariel.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Deep woods ...

creepy fungus
Originally uploaded by Xena~.

Going into the deep woods for hours today really helped me feel more calm inside. Yes it was a mundane task using nippers to cut at the berry briars and saplings that were growing into our electric fence.

But the woods were cool and breezy, not the hot, humid, close air we have been having.

I enjoyed my time slowly walking the hillsides and softly calling to my little Jack Russell Terrier. He found something very yummy to roll in. I'm so happy that he is fond of baths.

I took time today to sit on a mossy rock and just listen.

It was awesome.

Found these creepy mushrooms [fungus] growing under the fenceline.

Dung Mushrooms!

Originally uploaded by Xena~.

Yep it is really disgusting and sort of ugly. But I was curious as to what these really were. Mushrooms [fungi] pop up all over our woods in the summer and as a hiker I started to get curious. What were they?
Today is a better day. The sun is shining and I can go out and 'play in the woods'.
I hope to find some interesting things!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Hope floats...

Originally uploaded by Xena~.

I am entering into another cycle with my husband's depression. I can say we have been thru this before and hope to make it through again. He is a wonderful man who means well but is begining to fail in physical health as well. Some days I feel as though the wieght of the world and well being is held on my shoulders.
Some days I wish I could curl up in a tight ball and block out the world. I give so much of myself to others...helping our elderly patients...caring more deeply than I should?
I am a fanatic about training our mules, horses, and donkeys. I work all day, do all the yard and garden, cook, clean, and chore in my spare time. I also ride every nite...if I can't ride, I hike. These are the things that keep me sane and wanting to see the sunrise each day.
My husband has been spiraling ever since his father died. I have been having intense issues with that also.
Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia has put a new perspective on things. I cannot physically do as I once did...neither can he.
So now we work on a compromise.

Yeah so days I fell like I am drowning...I have to believe that HOPE does indeed FLOAT, because it could be my life jacket.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

The Secret Place

Originally uploaded by Xena~.

This weekend brought hours of hiking with my son and his wife. How can a 49 yr old lady wear out a 26 yr old and a 24 yr old? But I did. Morris my JRT entertained their wonderful dog named Teslin.

I took them back to my 'secret spot'. Ever since my boys were little, we would discover a place so unique and peaceful...that we'd dubb it the 'secret' place. We never shared our secret place with outsiders.

Monday I shared my personal 'secret place' with my son and his wife. We found this columbine growing on the side of the dry wash with a tree as its backround.

We created wonderful memories and so much good times together ... I miss them now and look forward to getting another weekend with them.

Kids grow up. But you never stop being mom.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Today's Special

26 yrs ago I gave birth to a fine healthy little boy. He had white-blonde hair and blue eyes. I was surprised to find that it took only seconds to fall madly in love with him. I'd never had a baby before and I was just a baby myself [now that I think about it]. I went home with this little bundle and was amazed at how my world suddenly turned inside out.
He was the center and focus of my life.

Eddie is coming for a visit this weekend, I am really looking forward to it as he keeps amazing me over and over...He is married now with a wonderful wife named Joy and they have a fun little mutt called Teslin who is their 'child'.

I'm hoping that we'll have good weather and fun taking our dogs to the woods to run and play.

Yep today is special.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Happy Birthday To Me!

Originally uploaded by Xena~.

I've always been this way. I once worked in a large insurance office and on my birthday I brought a huge sheet cake that I'd decorated with plastic horses and chocolate chips.
The chips were to signify horse apples...very funny to me, not to some of my co-workers. Huh. They ate the cake anyway.

So there you have it. I am 49 yrs old. I have new wrinkles that my husband says are laughing wrinkles. My jeans still fit the way they should, but I don't fill them out as nicely as I did yrs ago. Gravity has taken its toll in other places, but I don't gets better with age too, right?

Next year I turn 50. And I have begun to plan my own party. Now how wierd is that?

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Perfect weekend

It doesn't happen often where everything just seems to fall into place with ease...but it did this weekend. For three days in a row I was able to take my 18 month old grandchild riding on my mule with me. Badger acted like a prince. Not a misstep, not a falter, no attitude...he carried us as though he had a load of precious gems. Of course he did, he had Ariel.
Ariel to her credit laughed, chortled, and giggled...several times her squeals of laughter echoed through the valley charming everyone and everything. We saw deer, racoon, turkeys...wildflowers, mushrooms...we sang we laughed. I felt like I'd been blessed to share this experience with her!
What a wonderful time.