Mindful.
Thoughtful.
Winter nights seem to give me more time to pay attention to things I wouldn't normally think of.
Mindfulness means a lot of different things. To me, I just felt that it meant to be more aware of others and their feelings. Grandma always reminded us to be Mindful of our manners so I was a bit surprised to see that Mindfulness is meditation so that you can feel in the moment.
I looked up Thoughtful, it says to be more aware of others feelings.
Color me confused or old fashioned. I decided to chalk it up to Semantics. My definitions of thoughtful and mindful are similar. Apparently it isn't any more.
December's dreary days lead me to do more thinking. Yeah. I shouldn't be doing that. I mean thinking usually gets me in trouble. I think up scenarios all night with the preface of: What If?
In the summer I'm too tired to think of What If's since I'm physically busy all day.
I recently read Annie Dilliard's Novel The Maytrees. First off, this is a hard book to follow. Her writing jumps all over the place as if she were super high on caffeine when she wrote it.
Sort of like me on some days when I jump around in conversation or home duties.
The book is about a couple ... the novel explores their love, loyalty, friendship, and forgiveness. It explores the human heart.
Usually books don't move me much. I read a lot of novels and don't even know why I decided to pick this one up. I was looking for Pilgrim at Tinker Creek and found this book at the library.
When I finished the book I sat for a very long time just being thoughtful while looking at the lights and decorations in the room.
What better time of the day than a dark cold night to sit and think about everything in life. I asked myself questions in my head.
How did I get here?
Where will I go from here?
Has my life been meaningful?
Does it really matter?
Will I make a difference?
What will it be like when I am just a memory?
I have interrupted those two words the same as you have. Mindfulness is sort of a buzzword now, I think.
ReplyDeleteI've been having those thoughts off and on, too. I never really considered age, now that it is evident, I have contemplated those same questions.
Mindfulness also generates a lot of money now as in you can hire a Mindfulness Coach! Or go to a place where they have classes on Mindfulness Meditation!
DeleteAs for the other, those are thoughts I think of in the middle of the night when I should be peacefully sleeping.
I am having trouble in getting to comment. I LD am the one commenting here. I find myself sitting and thinking alot about life and what I have lived. I lost my first wife to cancer 43 years ago this month and it always makes me aware that I lived on and did I do it well.
ReplyDeleteI think the holiday season always makes us think of loved ones we miss.
DeleteI also think that you as a teacher touched many lives and made huge impressions on your students. I know my teachers really helped shape my life.
:)
I attribute my mindfulness thoughts to the darker evenings and colder weather. It just makes me maudlin. I was shopping today and wondering how my grandchildren will remember me. I hope I am not up all night thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteOh no! I hope I didn't put that in your head.
DeleteBut yes, I wonder how I'll be remembered and then simply recall my Grandmothers who made such an impact on my life. The memory of them is never forgotten.
Oh it is the early darkness that gets me. I am not certain how I will be remembered but it is what it is:) I am using my light every day or most days...I think it helps. I think too much in the middle of the night:(
ReplyDelete