Mindful.
Thoughtful.
Winter nights seem to give me more time to pay attention to things I wouldn't normally think of.
Mindfulness means a lot of different things. To me, I just felt that it meant to be more aware of others and their feelings. Grandma always reminded us to be Mindful of our manners so I was a bit surprised to see that Mindfulness is meditation so that you can feel in the moment.
I looked up Thoughtful, it says to be more aware of others feelings.
Color me confused or old fashioned. I decided to chalk it up to Semantics. My definitions of thoughtful and mindful are similar. Apparently it isn't any more.
December's dreary days lead me to do more thinking. Yeah. I shouldn't be doing that. I mean thinking usually gets me in trouble. I think up scenarios all night with the preface of: What If?
In the summer I'm too tired to think of What If's since I'm physically busy all day.
I recently read Annie Dilliard's Novel The Maytrees. First off, this is a hard book to follow. Her writing jumps all over the place as if she were super high on caffeine when she wrote it.
Sort of like me on some days when I jump around in conversation or home duties.
The book is about a couple ... the novel explores their love, loyalty, friendship, and forgiveness. It explores the human heart.
Usually books don't move me much. I read a lot of novels and don't even know why I decided to pick this one up. I was looking for Pilgrim at Tinker Creek and found this book at the library.
When I finished the book I sat for a very long time just being thoughtful while looking at the lights and decorations in the room.
What better time of the day than a dark cold night to sit and think about everything in life. I asked myself questions in my head.
How did I get here?
Where will I go from here?
Has my life been meaningful?
Does it really matter?
Will I make a difference?
What will it be like when I am just a memory?
