Wednesday, April 22, 2020

It's okay not to be okay....

The other day I got an email from our CrossFit coach, Josh, that was a mini read by a man named Jon Gordon. I looked him up and he is an author of what I would classify as 'Self Help' promotions and books. You can read about him at the link if you like.

But the email addressed the fact that it IS okay not to Feel Okay right now. Of course he offered words of encouragement that really struck a cord with me. I've gone back to read those words more than once in the past few days.

Because with the mounting death tolls of the Coronavirus, the politics, the demonstrations, the economic outlook, and then the possibility of staring this thing in the face for a very long time...
well, it seems that there is no more normal.
Everything I thought I had planned out for our future is no longer our future.

I texted my neighbor and CrossFit friend who I haven't seen for weeks and we met up on a back road to take a walk. A Distancing Walk with Charlie to just talk and just walk. We used to kid each other that we were the Elderly CrossFit people.

I stopped Bill and said I needed a photo of him in Tainter Land. He quipped that I'd ruin the scenery and the photo of course.

No, it didn't Bill.

We talked about our futures and ideas. He has worked for a nursing home so we have no misconceptions about aging and futures but only to try hard to stay healthy and fit. We talked about 'at what point' do we give up our homes?
In light of recent events we discussed our luck in living a rural area. At the same time rural wouldn't be so great as we aged.

We didn't talk gloom and doom our whole time. Most of the walk was spent marveling at the scenery. Bill kept commenting on how amazing Charlie was with his tiny legs and seemingly boundless energy.
Bill talked endlessly about his grand children and how much he enjoyed having them around. The things he still wanted to show them and do with them.

We discovered the 'first' violet coming up on the valley floor. We spotted Virginia Bluebells all over the valley as we walked. We marveled at how the floods in recent years had wrapped trees around other trees, changed the flow of the stream, and piled boulders and rocks in so many odd places.

I took photos with my Infrared Converted camera and explained light spectrums as best I could with some limited knowledge.

We did as two people would do. We walked ... distanced... and talked. We enjoyed the outdoors and sunshine.

Maybe in that time we learned a lesson from Charlie.

Just live in the moment for right now...

And it is okay ... not to feel okay.
But we are trying not to let it bring us down.


  1. So glad you have a friend to walk with and talk to. We have to keep keeping on! :)

  2. I haven't read the article, but that was the one lesson that cancer taught me well. Accepting what I can not change isn't tantamount to embracing it. I don't have to like it, and it's okay to not be okay with everything.

  3. Anonymous2:23 PM

    Thank you for the concept of it being ok to not be ok! Because some days I am really not ok - but most days I can convince myself that this isn't permanent and even believe it. I traded open spaces and a yard with flowers for a more social lifestyle, a lifestyle that didn't involve driving and sometimes that choice feels like a big mistake. At least there isn't much driving to get the necessities, something I won't let Hubby do now since he is older and immune compromised. Two things I really don't like to do - drive and shop. We'll manage though!

    1. I think if I was already in a condo or apartment setting, I'd probably adjust. Right now the drive to get an oil change seems like a drive to another is not that bad but I am trying to adjust there too. Only stick to my list and do not browse. In and out...quick.

  4. Anonymous5:15 PM

    Val I have no doubt you would adjust and thrive. :). You conquered the skid steer and manage the farm all while being a caregiver. Nature heals you from the stresses in your life and you would find a way to continue to have that nature break. We both do what needs doing and find a way to take care of ourselves and find beauty in our surrounding.

    I need to get better at making that shopping list and plan meals. It is nice that I have a choice of grocery stores and both with 2 miles. :). Sending you a virtual hug. (%)

    1. Thank you so much. I'm doing better now than I was the day I wrote this.


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