Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Rabbit and Bear

For a while Rabbit and Bear had disappeared from my photography.

Rabbit and Bear have returned.
[It is how I help deal with what is happening to Rich.]

Depression is an ongoing thing. It takes the smile away from the person I have laughed with and shared jokes with. The prankster has gone away, I haven't seen him in such a long time. Smiles are rare.

My sweet love is encased in something intangible, untouchable. There is no way to reach through that barrier and pull him through.

So I sit with him in the morning while he has his coffee and watch him look out the window. I ask him what he sees and he blinks slowly and looks at me as if I just appeared from another dimension.
He answers: I am Nowhere.
As if Nowhere is a place.

His mind and body aches and hurts. He walks as though there is a crushing weight on him. 

This is how it is. 
I can't make him better. 

This is the story behind Rabbit and Bear.


  1. Sending you a virtual hug and comfort. Rabbit and Bear are so special.

  2. So sorry this is happening to Rich and to you, it is such a struggle. Wish I had some wise words for you, depression sucks, strokes suck.

  3. I'm so sorry you are going through this. My husband had a stroke and didn't come back from it either. No one tells you how to cope with this. You can't prepare yourself for this loss. And it is a loss. They don't come back. The doctors told him that he would be fine. He's not. And it left me with the farm to take care of myself. My horses started attacking him. My stallion kept biting him. He had to remove himself from the herd because they know. They know he isn't the same guy he used to be. Keep taking care of him and yourself. You are doing the best you can and we are watching and cheering, praying, sending hugs from other parts of the country/world.

    1. It has been a series of things over the past 3 well, nearly 4 years now. Thank you.
      We have mules left and they are fine with my husband although he rarely goes outside any more.