I'm supposed to be doing Homework

Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be writing a 'cover letter' for my classroom assignment or should I say my class on 'Your Career, Make It Happen'. The class was written for people who can not collect more than two thoughts on a piece of paper and for those who cannot organize those two thoughts.

While I admit, it is a good way to get a college credit and comes perfectly timed with a surgery...read here--I am distracted by some discomfort and some pain meds...

I shake my head at our teacher. She insists that it is THE ALL KNOWING... all wonderful cover letter and resume that gets you in the door.

I know that many times...okay almost every job I've ever had except two...it was who you knew.

Of course it really does help to have a good handle on the English language and if you have to go it cold turkey...to have a good resume that someone will not put aside.

But there is no secret formula, no guru, that is going to make or break that interview. It boils down to me and them.
Simple.

Wow, I can do that?

*Stretch to the sky.* My little PT internist tells me as I use a pully to take my defunct right arm up above my head. She is a young girl...she probably doesn't think she is a young girl...but hey, I am getting to be that age now so everyone looks young?
She is doing her internship for Physical Therapy.

Last night was the night from Hades. There was not a twist a turn or any way...shape or form could I get comfortable in bed. Of course I said this to the PT dudettes today and was told this was very common with shoulder surgery. [I'm going DUH, no kidding]
Bright idea.
Try using the recliner! Yep, I did that the other night so why didn't I do it last night. Let's just roll our collective eyes and say *dummie*.

Today is so much better by contrast. After a grueling work out...[cough] and stretches, I ache, I hurt, but I also feel so much better.
I even managed to reach for the sky and put both hands on Badger's back.
Yeah.
I can do THAT!

Back from the land of owie

Back from the land of 'surgery'. I have an owie and I am being a total wimp -- sort of. Typing stinks and hurts too. My shoulder has been pronounced FIXED! Now for PT, physical therapy. I don't consider it torture but a means to get range of motion and strength back. Although for 2 weeks I am off from work and have to behave at home.

My guard husband is going to make sure of that. Grrr.

My first big adventure was yesterday. I took Morris and the camera and took a walk. Using a rightie camera with a lefty hand is not exactly easy, but I found I could do it.

As for surgery. Dr L was a hoot. Normally this nationally top rated surgeon [he is supposed to be in the top 4 of the nation...how do they tell?]...is strictly all business and straightforward. He actually joked with us before surgery...and pulled a prank on me. Yes, I complain about the length of time I have to wait to see him, but his methods and his precision is well worth it.
He is said he was going to research my case and find an answer as to why I've had 2 frozen shoulders and why I have all the wrist and hand pain.
I believe him.

My progress to me is slow. I feel like I should be running around and riding. When in truth, typing hurts, riding in the car...REALLY hurts, and well let's face it, it has only been 4 days!
My nurses were friends and neighbors. How cool can that be? The anesthesiologist was the best in the world.

I have a couple of stories to relate, but those will have to wait until I can type with a little less pain.

Hilarious Dr's Exam

I must say that the fellow how is doing my surgery tomorrow is an extremely personable and handsome man. I know, drool. We went to high school in the same geographical area, our high schools were rivals.
He is also an extremely competent surgeon. He has people drive across the country to see him.
That aside, today while we had the 'pre-surgery' talk, I promised that this year I would behave my self and not be such a wise-arse.
To which he quipped, 'Oh no, first don't make promises you can't keep and second, I'd think you were very ill!'

He then proceeded to 'listen' to me when I asked him 'why' I have had TWO frozen shoulders within 14 months. Why do my wrists and hands hurt when there is nothing wrong with them?
He blinked looked down and said, 'Is there a history of diabetes in your family...?'
[yes, mom, grandpa, uncle...]
Then he stood up and said, 'I'm going to draw blood today to look for rhuematic indicators and tomorrow you will have blood drawn to look at your glucose levels.'
This was something I had been pushing for. But no one had listened!

He kidded around with me and asked if I'd been riding that magnificent mule. I grinned from ear to ear. He deals with so many patients, yet was able to remember that.

Of course I'm also the lady who gave him grief last year after surgery. Long story to that.

The long and the short? I feel great. Now on to my homework and maybe later I can play with my graphic arts.

Beautiful morning...

This is from an old scanned photo, I think I'm liking this artwork so far the best! It is strong in color and very cheery. I had to sit down and 'make' 'create' it this morning before heading in to see Dr. Lawrence and facing the 'man' at work who I created a 'black hole' for yesterday.
Ha ha!
I already had a short walk in my Pj's...[note to eldest son...yes your mother is not quite right, but you knew that!]

My mood is really fantastic. I can't believe I let anger get me so worked up yesterday. Things are so positive now, I just feel the vibrations...[also helps when you can play CD's very loud in the Cavalier on the way to work!--Tractors...'Baby Likes to Rock It'...nothing like a little hill billy rock n roll to get you smiling]

Today the Cav, is out of commission, Rich went to replace the wires for the spark plugs and one of the plugs did not want to re-thread. So there is the Cav, up on ramps across the driveway...looking forlorn as it wants me to drive it.

I've got two professors I'm discussing the ethics issue with from my college, I expect to have a resolution by noon today. Nice to have the resources when you need it. Cool eh?

Places to put bad things...

A few years ago while in therapy...yes sigh. Therapy. Therapy to deal with some awful things that had happened when I was a young woman and a young mother. ... I learned a technique for controlling those awful bad feelings that creep up on you.

So today I took a travel back into my mental 'castle'. See the top floor is wonderful, the memories of childbirth, holding my babies, all sweet and wonderful things are in this place.

The Dungeon is a cave-like structure. The little caves open into a big room. Each cave has bars across the entrance and you cannot see into them. I OWN the key because that is where I put the 'bad' men and keep them safely there. I feel powerful over them, and what happened in the past. They are forever in the Dungeon of my beautiful 'memory' Castle.

Today though my hopefully soon to be ex-boss asked me to bill all the unfiled claims he has sitting on his desk. Mind you these files have been sitting for months while he plays puzzles and nods off to sleep. Then he whines when the $ doesn't come in. Let me say I have been searching for a year for another job.
Now he wants me to commit FRAUD, break federal law, be unethical...commit insurance fraud...

'I'll just dab a diagnosis on these files and do them later...you bill all of them.'

I can't do that! I don't know what the procedure was, the plan of action was...I am not a doctor! I was so mad. I said, 'No, absolutely not!'

He said, 'You will.'

Well I emailed my instructor from my ethics class and she said no, I cannot legally code procedures without documentation. My professor from A&P who used to be a chiropractor said the same thing.

Of course as the day went on and the stack of quickly Dx'd files piled in front of me, I go angrier and angrier. Boiling...so that when I had my physical, my blood pressure read 142/86...normally 118/70.

When I got home I needed to relax....I hurt so bad -- and I know it was from the stress!
So I began to think about my castle and where this whole thing could go so I could relax and do my schoolwork and get out of pain.

I 'made' a hole, a black ugly hole that I can throw bad things into ... it is a mind hole, but I needed to envision it. And you know what? It worked! I created it and put ugly nasty stress into it. It is there at the bottom swirling around. I can reach in and deal with it as I want or need to.

It is located below the Dungeon by the way.

Hectic Day

My Tuesday was swept with drama. It started out with me running late in the morning, see previous blog entry.
I had intended on taking my new polished resumes to 'Center' to drop them off personally. Instead of mailing them in, I wanted to see the places I was hoping for a new job.

Of course in order to make things feel just right, I felt that I had do, needed to, was compelled to--by some strong sense...that if I took Badger for a ride in the dusky morning light somehow things would be better.
Badger must have sensed my thoughts as he was the only mule to show up at the water tank and he stood and watched me quietly while I did chores for the other animals.
Morris, came along happy to be on an outing also. He ran as he does sniffing and 'watering' things along the way to 'mark' out territory in some ritual he has. He was happy, Mr. Mule was happy, I was content.
At one point in our ride Badger went stiff and stared intently at a downed tree that was being overgrown with wild grape vine. I sat and waited. Morris sat next to us.

After a moment a doe and her fawn slid quietly off into the denser woods. The rest of our ride was fairly uneventful, that is until I noticed Morris was limping badly on his right back leg, he wasn't even using it, but not complaining either. We crossed a particularly muddy and boggy part of the creek, when I looked back it seemed as though Morris couldn't make it.
Oh he was in NO danger, but I dropped off Badger and went to his aid. Morris ran up to Badger and put his paws on Badger's front leg...a sign that he was exhausted and wanted a ride.

Anyone who understands the aspects of mounting an equine that is taller than you with a very bad shoulder can appreciate the next few moves.
I put the muddy sloppy wet JRT on my saddle...said JRT shivered and shook as he is afraid of heights.
Since the right arm doesn't work well mounting is very difficult unless I have a bucket for assistance. There wasn't one.
I went to the 'off' side and put my foot in the stirrup. The shivering and muddy dog was in the seat. I pushed him to the rear of the saddle. He stood on Badger's butt, his JRT paws digging into said butt. Badger seemed unconcerned at this new turn of events and calmly reached for some delicious tall grass.
I got half way up and realized now I couldn't swing my leg over the JRT on the butt of the mule. So I pushed, coaxed...the JRT to the front of the saddle, which was now leaning. Mr. Mule was still unimpressed. I scrambled on the best I could...not pretty--straightened the saddle, and rode home with a happy panting Morris, who was warm and wet in my lap.

The phone calls started after that. Could I change my surgery date? Sure, when? Friday the 13th. Oh, okay.
I reviewed my new list of doctor visits, jumped in the shower and drove to Center. I dropped off the apps and when I got to my MIL's house she was back from surgery and looking just fine. She commented that 'boy do you look nice!'

I remarked that one did not go drop off applications in grungy clothes. Only one chance to make a first impression...or something like that.

When I got home, I had a message to set up an interview!
I had an email message from a past employer saying that this company had called her [I'd phoned her to ask if she would be a professional reference] and that she gave me a 'glowing review'.
Wow.

My world was changing in a fast paced manner, wasn't it?
I collapsed last night and slept soundly.
What a day.