Don't look it up!

But we can't help it can we?
Google your symptoms and you will know what is wrong with you.

Ugh.
Well.

True story.

Many years ago my [then] father in law proudly handed me a book and told me that it 'told' him what was wrong with him so he could tell his doctor.

Think of it as pre Google or pre WebMD.
You could look up your symptoms and the book would tell you what could be wrong with you.
It was a perfect book for Hypochondriacs.

At the time I was having some pain and cramps and was a bit under the weather. I reached over our coffee cups and paged through the symptoms.
My father in law eagerly watched as I studied the book.

What did you find? He asked me.

I looked up at him and deadpanned:
I'm either going to give birth or I am going to have my period.

He snatched the book away from me and wouldn't let me look at it anymore.