Thursday, September 27, 2018

Whoa is me...

Well not really. I changed my blog settings to allow comments from Google+. Suddenly there were either a lot of comments or not a single one.

Lori from The Skoog Farm Journal emailed me telling me she hadn't been able to comment for a long time. So I changed back to the old method and this morning poof! All old comments disappeared and are gone.
I guess that is okay. I will just keep moving forward and not look back. I set this blog up in 2005 I think and the only way to fix it may be to either go with the G+ or completely redesign this?

I guess I am not going to lose any sleep over it. I'll leave it as is and that will be that.

Yesterday was a bleh day. I waited for my husband to decide what 'he' wanted to do. During his counseling with his Psychologist, he mentioned that I was a 'nag' and he wanted me to stop.
So yesterday I did.

His goal he set with Lindsey was to go to the river and check things out for fishing with me giving him a ride. I was ready in the morning. He wouldn't commit. He took a nap and I waited.

Because I did NOT nag. He missed his mid day meds. He forgets. He finally wandered around the house at 1pm and looked out the door.

"Is it cold out?" he asked. 
I shrugged. "Go out and look for yourself."

His Negative Nancy Personality has returned...or the Excuse Guy has returned. His doctor is telling him not to make excuses and to do these little goals that he sets himself up for and agrees to do.

"It could be cold."
I shrug and check the time.

We finally get in the car and drive to a fishing spot.
He sits.
I finally open his door and tell him to get out.

He walks down to the water.
"It has weeds in it." 
I shrug. "It has fish in it."

"I don't know."
I sigh. "Well, next week I am going fishing. You can tag along if you wish." I leave it at that.

When we get home he decides that it is nap time. 

I keep trying to tell myself that the 'cure' was for his depression and that the Vascular issues that lean towards dementia along with the stroke are still there.
He was a procrastinator before the stroke, he is worse now.

But because I am a 'Nag' and it makes him angry. I have to back off. How will anyone see that unless he is pushed a bit, he won't achieve his goals of walking, fishing, and trying to move around to improve his health?

He knows he wants to do it, but he told Lindsey some days he just can't. 

She told him not to make excuses. 
She also told him that he may have to accept some 'nagging' from me. It was okay to ask him once IF he was going to walk, take meds, or do something on his list. But after the once. I was to leave it alone.

I think he is still a bit upset that I am joining a Camera Club. I went to a meeting Tuesday night and was gone for a few hours. I told him that I couldn't sit in the house 24 hrs a day. Meeting with people that like photography and getting involved in fun things is a way for me to have social experiences and a bit of respite from the daily grind of being a Nagging Caregiver.


I took Charlie for a walk then while he slept. When I returned he was planted in front of the computer and screen watching Netflix.

He cannot seem to see or hear me while glued to the screen. 

Well. He is in a better place. He isn't so depressed now and he even seems quite pleasant most of the time.
But my old friend is gone.

I just find the good moments in each day to enjoy. And I take advice from Charlie. 





7 comments:

  1. I am glad that it is easier to comment! I wanted to comment a bunch of times lately, but couldn't get it to work! Hello to Charlie!

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    1. I followed an update and then figured out that it doesn't work. At least I can reply now to comments directly, that was what I tried to do in the first place!

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  2. Testing. Testing....

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    1. I see your comment and it works!

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  3. That is a fine line between caregiving and nagging and sometimes nagging isnthe only thing that works. Stay strong.

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    1. You are right and we are trying to find a nice balance here. It is very hard to find non-nagging ways of 'nagging'. :)

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  4. Perhaps an alarm set will remind him to take his meds. One day at a time and I know it is not easy. I bet Charlie gives great advice! Yeah for you joining a camera club! :)

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