Just stuffss

 They started on the woods to the east of me....

I know the absentee landowners needed $$$ for their taxes. They've leased out the land in sections for hunting and farming. Apparently it doesn't pay enough.

Sigh.

This was one of my walking trails... 
I guess I won't freak out because it IS not my land.
They need the money.
The understory will grow back in.

But damn, it looks ugly.

These are the tops of the magnificent oak trees they cut down. The tops are left where they land and the oak logs are taken.

I know all of this, it has been years since I've seen another section of this land logged. 

The stump of one of my favorite oaks. The sunlight pours into the forest now with these grand old oaks cut down.

However, my creative thinking says this would be a perfect dystopian backdrop for some of my toys.

Right? What better place to show off the damage to the earth.

This logging is not for forest health. It is for cash and quick money.

My neighbor who is a 'forester' goes around our county and helps people manage their forests for a healthy forest.

His biggest concern was the logging company taking oak trees in the spring.

Oak wilt is a huge concern and spreads with this activity in the warmer weather. He wished they'd done this work in the winter.

I calmly explained to him that the owners are not stewards of the land. They only want money for leasing and money for profit [I think]. Someone pointed out that a lot of land owners log off their forest before selling the land.

Uffdah. 

The dynamic of the forest will be changed. It is not my land but I know it so well from walking it for 29 years. Last summer......

How it will change remains to be seen. 

Things change and we have to adapt.

Lil' Bear looks at the stump and at the forest....

~~~~~ 

I had meant to show off some birds we've seen in the past few days. But this was on my mind.

I wonder how it will affect the two families of the Pileated Woodpeckers in this forest. This was one of them visiting just the other day. Chipping at the deer skull on the tree for some calcium perhaps?

Considerations

I just went through my short list on FB and unfollowed 90% of the noise on there. I also snoozed most places that had posts that I generally just browse when I am totally bored. That is stupid on my part.

I will keep FB for those few neighbors that text me through Messenger or actually have something to say that interests me. So now when I go to FB, I spent less than 60 seconds looking at it. In fact I am going to see how long I can ignore FB! 

IG may be next. I made sure I was not on 'threads' which seems to have taken off but is still run by Zuckerberg's company. They both may be the next thing to go also. I didn't use IG except to post some of my funny stuff and some toy stuff for the Lego folks. Both my sons use IG so I may have to keep it.

I perused BlueSky this morning. Not even sure I want to get into having 'social' media anymore. At least I never joined Twitter and I am super glad I am not on X. 

I will stay here. Blogs are not the rage anymore and who cares about most bloggers anyway? I do. It seems like one of the last places where you can pick and choose what you want to read.

I do enjoy reading about others and what they do daily. 

I visit news sites and read or watch news on my cell phone. Sometimes I get so disgusted that I turn my phone OFF. Then of course I get worried that I'll miss a tracking message for hubby's meds so...dang it. I turn it back on.

At night, the phone goes on top of the spice rack in the kitchen and that is where it stays from 8pm until I get up to start the day. 

Slowly I am making changes to some of the poor habits I picked up. Less internet. More outer world.

My only real bad good habit is Flickr. I've heard that some people are flocking back to Flickr which is a photographer site but also a site that is a social media. People can share ideas, photos, and daily updates basically through photography. I've made friends on Flickr that I've kept for 15 years. Some of them I've met in real life and some only through messages and maybe a real phone call.

I have gone back to writing what I really think of the world in my paper journal. At least that does clear my mind of all sorts of thoughts before I go to bed.

I used to keep a journal for years and years. I still have a box of my journals all the way back to High School, through college, and my first years of marriage which included my thoughts when I gave birth to my first son.

I'll stay here for now. 

Photography is still my release from stress. So I will continue to do it.

Here is Bear, my cold weather hiking companion taking, a rest the other day. He is a very smart Bear. He knows how to just sit and BE. Something I could learn from him.

I wonder if he is meditating?

The weather is milder today so I am going to go out and enjoy the woods.

This view is from a few years ago on an open field when we had snow.

I need some fresh air.

I want to check out a new 'thing' I got for photography. I don't think it will help out much now...however it could be a game changer later this year when the creeks are flowing. A magnetic ND filter and lens cap.

Instead of screwing and unscrewing the filter, you simply attach the magnetic ring to your lens then carry the filter until you want to use it.

The on & off of the filter takes only a second. No fumbling fingers!

Hopefully I can find a place to try it out today. It is up to 22 F this morning! Whoo!

Once upon a time...

Musing on Aging by Sandra made me think a little about how we change over all the years. We do age and it comes as a surprise to us in many ways.

Can we recognize all the changes we've had in our lives. How do we see aging now? Well, when I was in my 20's, 30's, 40's, and 50's, I didn't even think about aging. I was really just working, living and busy with other things in life.

When I was a kid. I didn't think about adults. Grandma Pearl was an old adult. I mean, Grandma's were considered old. That was just a fact. 

Me with the glasses at my Aunt's house, I think. Yes, I started life with bifocals.

School photo and shot that my dad took when my brother tied me up in the yard with jump ropes. Sometime in the 1960's.

I have many shots of me growing up, but that isn't the point. Here I am in the shot below in my early 20's with my firstborn son.

Years later with my first born grandson.

2020 during the Pandemic. Self portrait of looking out the window. I don't like photos of me, but this was done for a class.

Last 4th of July at the track with my grandson that was in the above photo.

I like the photos of me when I was young much better than the photos I have now. But it is what it is. 

Lastly, a shot of me this week at Mobility Class. We have all ages doing this together. Tory is next to me, she was the little girl who rode last week at my house.

The other folks are in the 40's and the gent is in his mid 60's.

How about recognizing those who grow older and change with age? Some folks change a LOT. Some don't.

 I looked up one of my previous foster sons just for kicks. I'd last seen him while he was in high school. He now runs a business and I wouldn't have recognized him at all except there was a photo of him on his SM page of his teen years. 

People change, some people don't change much.

Inside me? I don't feel changed at all. I can see the effects of aging outside on my skin and changes in my body. But in my mind I don't feel really that different. I seem surprised to find out that I am not quite the same person I was in my early years. 

I know people see me as aged and older. 

I used to freak out at photos of me that showed my wrinkly beat up skin. Funny, how we reach an age or reach an attitude where perhaps our once youthful looks don't really matter any more. 

I am who I am now and I am okay with that.

Motivational Speak and Empowerment....

 Oxford Dictionary:

Empowerment definition:
the authority or power given someone to do something
or
the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights.

Motivational Speak:
Emotional message and purpose...yaddah yaddah...and so forth.

So there are some gals holding a Woman's Retreat to help Empower women so they can meet challenges in life. Yoga, Self Defense, Hike in Nature, Catered Lunch, Motivational Speaker, and so forth for a whole day. 

One of the gals who I know through the gym was asking me if I would attend. I  gave an evasive answer because even though I'd love to spend the day doing stuff with these women pals, I wasn't exactly comfy with the whole scenario. 

There is a nearly $200 price tag for the day. It would probably be a lot of fun. Even at my age, the word "Networking" comes to mind. These women own businesses and are pretty impressive on their own.

But the word EMPOWERMENT kept nagging at me. To me it means something different???

After a day of using the air compressor, a drill, a saw, a mini chain saw, handling chores, moving mules around, checking to see why one mule had a sore foot, watering, cooking for the two of us and sorting meds for the next week.............I sat back on a overturned bucket in the shed. 
I decided to think about this event. 

Conquering Through: Facing Challenges!!! 

Hmmm. 

I'm a Caregiver and I also take care of our little 'farm' and all the decisions that have to do with the house/farm maintenance.
Facing challenges? Most of you know that folks who care for others do face daily challenges and not the kind that will be talked about by a Motivational Speaker.

I mean, if I was there, could I contribute on how to handle a loved one when bathing them? How to agree with someone who knows the sky IS purple today? 

I don't think that is going to be anywhere near what is going to be covered. 

Back to Empowerment. 
Empowerment definition:
the authority or power given someone to do something
or
the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights.

Yep. I wanted a tree swing for years. Yesterday I gave myself
the authority and power to do it.

I also wanted to trim a tree and build a spot
where I could watch deer from a place 
in another tree. So I built a place for my

morning coffee..
while I sit in the little stand with my 
back against the massive trunk.

The view from this little stand allows me
to gaze over our little meadow and
the neighbor's land to the east.
I can see the house from here and yet
I can feel removed from indoors and
feel surrounded by
nature.

Oh heck, by the end of the day I felt pretty powerful errrr, empowered? 

It is nice that I was asked [now over and over!]. But I wonder if those that are in charge of organizing the Retreat realize that I am a generation ahead of them. The target age of those organizing and running the retreat and those going are in their 30's and 40's.

I'm sort of torn between wanting to go and thinking that there is really nothing in it for me. I am curious though as to what this next generation is thinking. 
That would be interesting.

I mean, I recall burning bras! I recall title IX which allowed females to play sports! It was a civil right for women! 

Suddenly I was able to play on a team and not just after school intramurals. 

Bam! One year later women gained more access to health care with Roe V Wade.
I understand that the younger women of today are facing all sorts of challenges that are different from my generation.

Should I go? Hmmm? The worst that could happen...is that I learn something from a different perspective.

So there you go....

My Inspirational and Motivational Thought today?

Last note: Red Flag Warning for us through tonight and tomorrow. YIKES!

One day in the Future

My son and I talk on Sundays. My oldest son, that is. This has become a ritual since March of last year. I think we started it the weekend of the 'lockdown'. He is able to work from home and has been practicing masking and social distancing. 

I can't fathom how difficult it must be for him as he is a very social creature. Yet he perseveres with caution. He has gone to limited workouts at his CrossFit gym and has a small 'bubble' of friends that he does things with. 

He is a constant source of common sense for me. He also likes to give me grief and joke with me. 

He pulls no punches. This year he asked what did I intend to do in the future when Rich was no longer here? Would it make sense to hang onto the farm and all that it entails as I creep towards 'older' age? Did I really want to maintain pastures, gardens, and plow out the driveway? Depend on the help of others?

What would happen when I couldn't drive anymore? Of course I laughed and said that I expected him to tell me when he thought that I'd reached that point. 

"Okay mom, I'm coming for the keys." He responded. 

Harrumph. 
But he had a point. No taxis are in this rural area. I couldn't be asking neighbors to take me shopping now could I? I know it was a huge pain to take half a day to drive my mother in law around and pull out her walker and act as her spotter when she got tipping one way or the other. Grocery shopping with her had to be done, but she insisted on doing it herself. It took over an hour just to get 15 items. Afterwards, she wanted to 'do' lunch. Eventually we'd make it back to her apartment and she'd collapse in her easy chair and direct me on putting her things away.

Next she'd ask me to do dishes and make her bed. Please don't think I am cruel, but I was chomping at the bit. Rich was my full time care partner. He needed me too. He'd just had recovered from cancer treatment, a stroke, and Pulmonary Emboli. 

I fell into the caregiving category because MIL's family were too busy, too far away, or whatever else they had for reasons.

Ed said to me. "Don't think I'll be driving out there once a week to check up on you mom." He then proposed a future.

Eventually sell the place and move back to his home town. Use the farm proceeds to purchase a condo near the lakefront. I actually liked that idea. There are bus routes and bike/walking trails all over. Uber is available for rides. If I couldn't drive [my father went blind with macular degeneration] I could still get around. Since I am familiar with the area, I know there are miles and miles of beautiful trails to explore. 

Not the forest though. It is not the forest. There is the big question. Give up my forest rambling? Hours by the creek? 
And yet, I could be free to travel if I wished provided I had no farm to hold me down. I could drive places and camp. Something that has always been on my list.

My son pointed out that at least I'd be in the same town as he was. And yes he could check on me easier. 

I'm grateful for Ed and his logical mind. Yes, I'd make the change, eventually. I love this house and it is nearly maintenance free. 

I also know that I am adaptable. I've lived in Skokie, Illinois. I've lived in Kenosha County. I've lived in apartments and crappy houses. I've lived all over and seemed to always adapt quickly.

I have to be realistic. There will be a day when I can't handle all of this on my own no matter how much I work out and stay healthy. 

Rich and I talked to Ed about this and Rich thinks it is a great idea. He doesn't want to see me alone in the world without family nearby. 

I saw first hand with my MIL, the true shortcomings of help in the rural area. No transport or limited transport. Helping Hands was always stretched thin. It was a struggle to get her extra help even with the county involved. 

I've been through this with my FIL, my MIL, and Rich. Without a person willing to do everything the elderly in our area are lost.

One of my neighbors gives up time each week to go to an elder's house to help them. Good people are out there. 

One day in the future I'll be shutting the porch door behind me permanently. That only makes every day here in the NOW more important.

How Covid-19 changed things for us

This is probably a moot point for so many people my age. Some are retired and live on farms or in the countryside so they can isolate a bit easier than those who would be in apartments [believe me, I had been thinking a lot about downsizing just last year!].

Grocery shopping habits have changed. No longer is it the every few days run into town to get something, or on a whim decide to eat out. We didn't do that often anyway. 

Now a grocery list is a study of strategy. I make a list and rewrite it in order of the isles in the store. I start by the milk and end by the produce. We have 3 stores in our town. Walmart, Quillians, and Viroqua Food Co-op. Walmart has the best prices on many things we like. The breakfast cereals at the other two stores are up to $2 more per item. 

Viroqua Food Co-op does offer curbside pickup. Otherwise I have to drive 30 miles one way to to a curbside pick up from the LaCrosse Walmart. 45 miles one way to get Quillians pick up. So the choices are limited. 

I spent the summer doing a 'stock up' of dry goods, beans, and non perishable items.
I can call up a lady for fresh eggs and go pick them up.
I can make up an order from the Co-op and pick the foods up. It is more pricey, but the fresh produce quality is so much better than any other store.

I can call and order the mule's Senior Feed for the elder mules. They can process the order over the phone and leave the feed on the dock for me to pick up.

I find myself planning my once a month shopping as if it was a strategic battle. Do I get bulk items at Wally World at 7am? What is on my list? 

I admit that I am cooking differently. I have made home made bread. Not too bad, I can still do it.
I made home made desserts. The cookies are good as long as I stick to chocolate chip cookies. The apple crisp was not too great, not enough apples but the topping was good!
I made home made oven cooked fries. That was actually fun and not as hard as I thought.

I'm going to try some butternut squash soup this week. I have so many squash stored in the basement and I need to eat it.

But really this is just more of reaching back as to how my grandmother cooked and made things. She didn't drive and they made a trip to town in the fall and in the spring. Mom would drive us once a month to town for groceries when we stayed at the cottage in the summer.

I grew up never needing milk as we always had dried milk. [YUCK!!!] Everything was bulk. Flour, sugar, rice, powdered milk, ... 
Most everything was home made. Maple syrup and jelly for example. Meat was purchased or butchered and put in the freezer to last the winter.

Fast food was not a thing.

I recall going down into my grandmother's cellar to get something for her and commenting that she was ready for a World War. I used to privately joke about it.

Funny. She survived the first World War, she survived the 1918 pandemic, she survived the second World War and the Great Depression. She survived food and fuel rationing.
So. Not funny.

I think about that. And now I understand why my Grandparents rarely tossed things and always repurposed items. Why they were so stingy with their money. Why they wore clothes with patches and darned their socks. I understand why they thought eating at a restaurant was a HUGE thing. A show of waste and opulence.

If Grandma Pearl was alive today she would simply say 'Humph,' and carry on. If their meat got low in the freezer, there was always critters in the woods and fish in the lake.

I'm not ready to go there. 
Yet.

But I am working on taking care.

I know there are those that think this Pandemic is no big deal. I am not going to argue that with anyone. I will deal with it my way and listen to my husband's doctors who have said to treat everyone outside of our house as an Infection.

My husband is content. I am a bit stressed and bored, but need to dig deep into my Grandmother's and mom's heritage and deal with it. 
I feel we are in a fairly good place. 
I am not working 12 hr shifts at the plant and driving 60 miles per shift like I used to 3 years ago. I have to stay home. Three years ago my choice was made for me. We made a quick adjustment to living on a lot less.

Our Holidays haven't changed. When Rich's mom could no longer get around, and when Rich stopped driving...we stopped traveling to his daughter's for a get together. One year his daughter and family did come here. Enough said.

There are those who are at work keeping our food supply chain open. These are the folks I am so grateful for. 

There are the nurses and doctors that are providing the best care they can right now. To those people too, you are my heroes. 

And that is where I am going to leave it this morning. I'm going to have a cup of tea and go do chores, wander the woods, and get on with my next project of learning something new to cook or make from what I have at hand.

Be safe and well.

Whoa is me...

Well not really. I changed my blog settings to allow comments from Google+. Suddenly there were either a lot of comments or not a single one.

Lori from The Skoog Farm Journal emailed me telling me she hadn't been able to comment for a long time. So I changed back to the old method and this morning poof! All old comments disappeared and are gone.
I guess that is okay. I will just keep moving forward and not look back. I set this blog up in 2005 I think and the only way to fix it may be to either go with the G+ or completely redesign this?

I guess I am not going to lose any sleep over it. I'll leave it as is and that will be that.

Yesterday was a bleh day. I waited for my husband to decide what 'he' wanted to do. During his counseling with his Psychologist, he mentioned that I was a 'nag' and he wanted me to stop.
So yesterday I did.

His goal he set with Lindsey was to go to the river and check things out for fishing with me giving him a ride. I was ready in the morning. He wouldn't commit. He took a nap and I waited.

Because I did NOT nag. He missed his mid day meds. He forgets. He finally wandered around the house at 1pm and looked out the door.

"Is it cold out?" he asked. 
I shrugged. "Go out and look for yourself."

His Negative Nancy Personality has returned...or the Excuse Guy has returned. His doctor is telling him not to make excuses and to do these little goals that he sets himself up for and agrees to do.

"It could be cold."
I shrug and check the time.

We finally get in the car and drive to a fishing spot.
He sits.
I finally open his door and tell him to get out.

He walks down to the water.
"It has weeds in it." 
I shrug. "It has fish in it."

"I don't know."
I sigh. "Well, next week I am going fishing. You can tag along if you wish." I leave it at that.

When we get home he decides that it is nap time. 

I keep trying to tell myself that the 'cure' was for his depression and that the Vascular issues that lean towards dementia along with the stroke are still there.
He was a procrastinator before the stroke, he is worse now.

But because I am a 'Nag' and it makes him angry. I have to back off. How will anyone see that unless he is pushed a bit, he won't achieve his goals of walking, fishing, and trying to move around to improve his health?

He knows he wants to do it, but he told Lindsey some days he just can't. 

She told him not to make excuses. 
She also told him that he may have to accept some 'nagging' from me. It was okay to ask him once IF he was going to walk, take meds, or do something on his list. But after the once. I was to leave it alone.

I think he is still a bit upset that I am joining a Camera Club. I went to a meeting Tuesday night and was gone for a few hours. I told him that I couldn't sit in the house 24 hrs a day. Meeting with people that like photography and getting involved in fun things is a way for me to have social experiences and a bit of respite from the daily grind of being a Nagging Caregiver.


I took Charlie for a walk then while he slept. When I returned he was planted in front of the computer and screen watching Netflix.

He cannot seem to see or hear me while glued to the screen. 

Well. He is in a better place. He isn't so depressed now and he even seems quite pleasant most of the time.
But my old friend is gone.

I just find the good moments in each day to enjoy. And I take advice from Charlie. 

Afternoon walk

I wanted to see if I had marked the trail well enough. There is a spot in the trail that gives the hiker two choices.
Either choice is good and will lead to the same place.

Once marked it seems they are so easy to follow. Well, they really aren't. But I had redone some of the notches on the trees anyway.

Down in the valley the snowmobile club folks had taken a bulldozer to the creek. They must have retrieved the culvert and put it back down as a crossing.

This will hold until the next big snow melt or flash flood. The dozer filled in the area with loose soil. Erosion was never an issue until they started moving the earth around.

Here is the hole that they filled in again. It was about 6 feet deep.

I followed the valley to the end and searched out the spot that used to have a 'waterfall' of sorts.
I found it. Of course everything had changed drastically since spring. We'd had a few mild flash floods and as with this area, it rearranged the land. The shot below is the current version.

This is from 3 years ago.

I love how things never really stay the same.

After I visited what I call 'the spring falls' [a large spring is above this area and flows through water cress and rocks before it burrows into the land and joins the main creek] ~ I went to the Long Rocky Dry Run.
It is one of the harder places to get to.

Here is a view from above it after I climbed out.

Don't be fooled by the photo, the steep sides are challenging. Rock and mountain climbing are good skills to have here.

As I went home I stopped by another place that had changed quite a bit with the freezing temperatures.

One of the places I like to jump over the creek is here. This was Sunday.

The above shot is in the same place but on Friday.

The volume of water has changed in certain spots too. Here it was again on Sunday.

And here it was on November 11th.

The heavier flow of water has shifted to the opposite side of the rocks changing the whole look of the little pond area.

However, the trout didn't seem to mind a bit.

I could have spent hours exploring more. But daylight fades early and chores must be done.
I headed home.