Caregivers workshop

 Caregivers workshop....

some bulletin points to ponder and share with you.

• We never expected to be Caregivers.
• We did not apply for the job.
• We never trained for this job.
• We are sometimes angry.
• We may feel guilty about being angry.
• We chose to be Caregivers.
• We can walk away but we don't.
• We are often stressed.
• We all know that caregiving can bring a lot of joy to our lives.

Problem solving is part of our class for this week. I won't share conversations about it, but there seem to be many people out there that are giving care but are having such a hard time coping due to poor health themselves along with the person they are caring for.

I am so very lucky in the sense I seem to be in very good health. The hardest thing to deal with right now of course is Isolation and Communication. Also there is dealing with the frustrations of trying to get the person I care for to follow instructions to keep his health halfway decent. Every three or four days we seem to run into that same problem over and over. I'd had to see a medication change because of it but it may be what would be in store for him.

The morning's discussions are lost by noon or 1pm gone into mental greyspace. But in general, he is a happy person. That is why I don't want to change the meds.

Yesterday I was getting ready to order our winter hay and he decided that he would shop around. I told him that he had until Monday to find someone who would bring us 30 large squares and deliver them. I know he won't call around but I have to at least give him the chance to hold on to his dignity.

He forgot of course.

On a good note, I'm getting him used to the idea that there are a few things I need to have fixed around the place and my neighbor's son has been working as a 'handy' man. New belts on the lawn mower? Maybe I can hire it done. Fix the kitchen sink? Perhaps I can get a new 'cartridge' installed by hiring it done. IF it can be done on a nice day with the windows open and masks of course.

Problem Solving. 

Yup, I'm on it...

When I Retire....

I had a dream of retiring when I was in my later 60's and had worked much longer.

Hold the horses! Hubby's stroke put a quick end to my part time job that paid so so very well. However it was a double edged sword, the pay was great. The hours were awful. Midnight shifts, 12 hour shifts, shift during the day or night all within the same week. But dang, that money was good and it all went into a savings for our future.

We live lean, don't do shopping sprees, and our main costs were of course the animals on the farm.

So.
I used to drive by the Wellness Center in our town each morning and got a glimpse of people working out early on stationary bikes, treadmills, and other equipment while I was getting fuel at the local gas station.
I told hubby that when I retired, I wanted to be able to go to the gym.

He wrinkled his nose at that and said that I was just fine. ALL that hiking I did surely kept me in tip top shape.

Well. Yesterday I stopped at the new Wellness Center. There are two other gyms in town one a franchise AnyTime Fitness, and another one that boast low prices.

The Wellness Center will cost me more, however, I've had two shoulder surgeries, and one elbow surgery and the WC is connected to the local hospital and the staff are certified Physical Therapists and Certified Trainers.
Besides, they are the only ones in a 60 mile radius that offer CrossFit.

When I went over the cost with Rich I explained that it works out to about $4 per day. His argument?
Waste of money. You are fit.

My argument?
I need a routine outside of the home with folks that I am not a CareGiver for. I need to take care of me and my body to stay mentally fit and physically fit.
I can always BE more fit.

I'm doing it because I used to be crazy about staying in shape. I ran distances for fun, I rode bicycles for long distances for fun...

My father went back to a gym when he was in his 80's to improve leg strength and balance.

CrossFit is new to me.
But now that I am retired? Or semi retired, but working at caregiving, I still need something to do for me.

The flexible hours are pretty incredible too. Sessions are held at 5, 6, 8:30, 11am, and I think at 4pm and 5pm.

Well. Thank you Ed for suggesting this. I visited with them yesterday and start today.
I won't be the oldest person in the group either. There is a woman who is 76 that has been doing this for 7 years!

Ok.
I'm out of here!

Whoa is me...

Well not really. I changed my blog settings to allow comments from Google+. Suddenly there were either a lot of comments or not a single one.

Lori from The Skoog Farm Journal emailed me telling me she hadn't been able to comment for a long time. So I changed back to the old method and this morning poof! All old comments disappeared and are gone.
I guess that is okay. I will just keep moving forward and not look back. I set this blog up in 2005 I think and the only way to fix it may be to either go with the G+ or completely redesign this?

I guess I am not going to lose any sleep over it. I'll leave it as is and that will be that.

Yesterday was a bleh day. I waited for my husband to decide what 'he' wanted to do. During his counseling with his Psychologist, he mentioned that I was a 'nag' and he wanted me to stop.
So yesterday I did.

His goal he set with Lindsey was to go to the river and check things out for fishing with me giving him a ride. I was ready in the morning. He wouldn't commit. He took a nap and I waited.

Because I did NOT nag. He missed his mid day meds. He forgets. He finally wandered around the house at 1pm and looked out the door.

"Is it cold out?" he asked. 
I shrugged. "Go out and look for yourself."

His Negative Nancy Personality has returned...or the Excuse Guy has returned. His doctor is telling him not to make excuses and to do these little goals that he sets himself up for and agrees to do.

"It could be cold."
I shrug and check the time.

We finally get in the car and drive to a fishing spot.
He sits.
I finally open his door and tell him to get out.

He walks down to the water.
"It has weeds in it." 
I shrug. "It has fish in it."

"I don't know."
I sigh. "Well, next week I am going fishing. You can tag along if you wish." I leave it at that.

When we get home he decides that it is nap time. 

I keep trying to tell myself that the 'cure' was for his depression and that the Vascular issues that lean towards dementia along with the stroke are still there.
He was a procrastinator before the stroke, he is worse now.

But because I am a 'Nag' and it makes him angry. I have to back off. How will anyone see that unless he is pushed a bit, he won't achieve his goals of walking, fishing, and trying to move around to improve his health?

He knows he wants to do it, but he told Lindsey some days he just can't. 

She told him not to make excuses. 
She also told him that he may have to accept some 'nagging' from me. It was okay to ask him once IF he was going to walk, take meds, or do something on his list. But after the once. I was to leave it alone.

I think he is still a bit upset that I am joining a Camera Club. I went to a meeting Tuesday night and was gone for a few hours. I told him that I couldn't sit in the house 24 hrs a day. Meeting with people that like photography and getting involved in fun things is a way for me to have social experiences and a bit of respite from the daily grind of being a Nagging Caregiver.


I took Charlie for a walk then while he slept. When I returned he was planted in front of the computer and screen watching Netflix.

He cannot seem to see or hear me while glued to the screen. 

Well. He is in a better place. He isn't so depressed now and he even seems quite pleasant most of the time.
But my old friend is gone.

I just find the good moments in each day to enjoy. And I take advice from Charlie.