Or how baby strollers can eat mules by Siera.
Our ride was totally normal last night. I'm usually in a hurry when I am riding with Val alone. I'm sure she would like to get this whole saddle and riding thing over as quick as possible. I mean, how fun can it be to sit up there and watch the world go by? Shouldn't she be doing something important like eating or maybe taking a dust bath?
She thinks she knows where she is going, but when we do fields she hesitates a little. She claims she doesn't like riding too close to rows of corn because deer like to pop out right under our noses too often.
I like to get close enough to the corn to take a bite if I can, which kind of ticks her off.
I mean the deer are doing it -- why not a starving mule like me?
We explored the second hay field that had been planted and walked between corn and a hedge row. Eventually she asked me to stop and stand.
Hint. I don't always like to stop and stand when I am alone with her. I mean, what is the point? We had a conversation about that and finally I sighed and stood quietly while she gazed around and enjoyed the scenery. Well, that is what she told me.
We took in the turkeys in the soybean field and watched more deer. It was quiet and it was pleasant. She even let me graze a bit!
We went back out to the road to head towards home and I stopped in my tracks.
Ahead were little people with helmets on and they were on....
drum roll please...
Killer Kid Bikes...
followed by
A Killer Stroller that had swallowed a whiney child.
Wheels are dangerous. They are more dangerous on bicycles and strollers than on tractors and skid steers. Wheels look innocent until. Well, until they aren't.
The child in the Killer Stroller made noises and the people pushing it stopped.
Val dismounted and explained to them that I was undeniably terrified of strollers and bikes [she said she didn't know why -- those wheels -- they will TURN on you in an instant and make a grown up mule into muleburger!]. She walked me back into the hay field so I wouldn't be too close to them.
The bicycles threw the kids, or the kids threw the bicycles. I don't know which. The stroller regurgitated the child onto the gravel road. It WAS terrifying!
I could feel the pressure building and there were wavelengths of malice and danger coming off the wheels and the Stroller. I couldn't deal with it any more. I did a backwards bolt until Val stopped me. She let me stand there and breath while she said calm things like
stupid mule. Okay, she didn't say that. But the stroller people thought it!
Val just stood and talked to me quietly until my eyes stopped being the size of dinner plates.
The kids wanted to come and pet me. Val said perhaps they should come to the house at another time and pet me in the yard when I wasn't scared. [Because really, almost nothing bothers me except ... bikes and Stollers!]
The people left walking slowly back up the road towards home. As long as those things are headed away, I'm good. I mean I would chase them as long as they were not facing me.
Val remounted and made me walk slowly towards home. I gave her a what to by shaking my head and bobbing it up and down to show my displeasure.
I wanted to get back to my pasture mate Sunshine and away from the monsters.
When I got back in the pasture and Sunshine wanted to know how the ride went.
I told her about the killer bicycles and The Killer Stroller that spit out children.
Sunshine shook her head and turned away. I swear she muttered...
Stupid Mule.