Friday, June 22, 2018

Rainy Day

Sometimes things can be a bit overwhelming. So I take short time outs.

What the heck is a time out?
Well, I take Charlie for a walk in the rain for example. Charlie is also up for any sort of activities. Be it short or long.
While I am with Charlie, I don't think much about all of the overwhelming changes of the past year. I sort of just walk along and enjoy the smells and sounds of being outside.

Yesterday it was raining pretty hard most of the day, I decided to go ahead and try out the $4 umbrella I had purchased. It actually worked pretty nicely. Charlie and I took a walk up the driveway and out the dead end road. I dropped his little cord and let him go.
Charlie saw a squirrel down the road and took off as hard as his little legs could carry him.
The squirrel looked up and disappeared into the long grass.

Charlie didn't see where the squirrel went and was a bit perplexed. I caught him up and we continued the walk.
We checked the mail and the box was empty so I returned Charlie to the house where he protested.

I grabbed my camera and decided to see if I could get a photo of the coral fungi that I'd spotted in the morning when I checked the meadow fence.

I had a huge selection of fresh fungi to choose from. I took a few shots and then headed down to check on the creek. The neighbor kids and mom wanted to see the 'new' ridge road on Friday and have a 'creek' adventure.
That means laughing children and lots of splashing in the water.

Laughter from children always brightens my day.

The road didn't wash much and I tried to mentally calculate how I'd get the pasture grass seed down where I wanted to spread it. Hmmm. Kids + Wagon + plus bag of seed = extra helping hands. Besides, it is always more fun to have company when doing things. I could spread seed and the others could play.

I had told Rich that I wouldn't be gone long. Though I know he'd sleep for a couple of hours, I just felt I had to make it quick and get back.
I juggled the tripod and umbrella and climbed over a few rocks to find a pleasing scene.

I found a couple of spots and was happy that the heavy overcast sky allowed for exposures up to 1 second.

I probably could have spent hours wandering the length of the creek, and once I would have. I just didn't have it in me at the moment.
The umbrella worked out well for keeping the rain off the camera.
Yes, it was a pain, but now I could easily walk in the rain as long as I kept to wide open trails.

When I got home it was time to start to get ready for chores. I mentally counted who would have to leave before winter came on. I moved our pony, Little Richard to a new spot to graze.
I wanted the cattle to stay, at least those in the pasture. The bull had to go and it was up to me to make the arrangements.
It felt odd knowing that farm decisions were mine now.
The two donkey jacks had to leave too and possibly the young horse Rich calls 15. She has no purpose other than eating and I don't have the desire to retrain her.
Half of me wants to keep Sundance and the half wonders if I'll have the time to work with her.

I count the bales of hay and figure on when we'll need to get some more. I mentally try to calculate if I have enough time to send the truck in for a tune up.

I stop back in the house. Rich is sitting on the edge of the couch. I stood there for a moment and he looked at me with wide innocent eyes.

"Do you no longer want to help with chores?" I asked.
He seemed perplexed by the question.
"Do you even think about chores any more?"
He shrugged and answered, "No not really I just was staring at the screen and watching..." his hand pointed to the small flat screen where he was watching Netflix.

I realized that he just isn't aware of the chores anymore. He knows they have to be done. But his mind doesn't trigger a response to get up and go outside.
This is the new normal.

He isn't being mean, he isn't ignoring me, he just is in this new foggy place.

I reach down and hug him. He puts his arms around me and hugs tightly back.

This is okay. I like the hugs. His love is still true and he smiles.

Just another rainy day.


  1. Anonymous8:14 AM

    It's so hard seeing someone you love fading away, harder on us than them sometimes.
    Be strong. Hugs to you.

  2. You will make the right decisions...and hugs are good:)


Please include at least your first name if you are commenting Anonymously. Thank you.