Well, that was interesting...

 

I had an 'interesting' week. Most of the week felt like it was a half a bubble off. Ever have one of those weeks?

Some good things happened and so did some very bizarre things. 

We all understand about CareGiver Stress, well, perhaps everyone doesn't. However last week during a meeting with our CareGiver social worker via the VA's version of Zoom, the social worker referred me to a counselor to help deal with some of the things I've been dealing with this winter.

The VA now offers counseling to CareGivers one on one in their own homes. Before this, I would have to seek out counseling in my home town. There is the stigma of admitting that you have stress while caring for someone along with trying to find one place that would actually take the insurance offered by Medicare and ChampVA is an incredible challenge in itself.

I said YES, please! This winter has been difficult.

I try not to share my 'difficulties' here. So I really won't go into it. However I recognize the symptoms of it all. I want to be Snarky every time I'm asked to help him, is not a good feeling. I get riled at the least little thing and want to yell and immediately feel guilty because it really is NOT his fault!

Wednesday was awesome. I went with a friend on a nice easy hike along the paved section of old hwy 131 on the Kickapoo Valley Reserve.
 

I was surprised that the ponds were still frozen. We just walked and she talked, I listened. Her mom is in Hospice and has been for 2 months now. It weighs on my friend's mind. She is trying to balance her feelings about quality of life and also has a new grand child which makes her full of joy. Balancing Joy and Sadness is hard.

Part of the way through the hike I started to have dark brown floaters in my one eye. The 'good' eye. I've had this before in 2021 in the opposite eye. It is freaky. Think about dropping food coloring into a glass and watching the dye float about in the water. Then think about that being what you see in your vision. 

When I looked at the sky around me, I could clearly see the floaters and knew it was from a Vitreous Hemorrhage. That sounds terrifying. However, I was told that sometimes the Vitreous has a little pull on it in older eyes and there is a tiny bleed. The eye doctor told me NOT to go to the ER, but to call they eye clinic and get in. ER's don't call in eye doctors or have the equipment to look into your retina.

Thankfully, I did get an appointment for the next morning.

I had the exam and this eye doctor was hilarious. He looked deep into the eye to check to see if I had a tear in my retina or a detachment. 

His commentary was hilarious. "Ohhhhh Ahhhh Nice! You did a great job! This tiny tear is in the Best Spot! Right next to the Optic Nerve! I think we need to take a picture of that so you can see it!"

What causes it? It can be age. It can be because I've had eye surgeries before, it can be possible that I sneezed and did it...or it just happened on its own. 

What does it look like? I tried looking all over the internet and no good examples came up. So I went into a program and created what I see right now. Speckles and floaters that never stay still and sometimes interfere with what I am trying to read. They wiggle around every single time you look at something.

This is perhaps like just a few molecules of seepage from the little tiny blood vessel in my eye. The molecules will reabsorb like they did in 2021. It takes time but is very annoying.

The big scientific words for what happened sound very scary: Posterior Vitreous Detachment. I will be seen in two weeks to have another look at it to see if it is healing up.

So this week, photography hasn't really been much fun nor has reading. However, I've gone about my daily business and am continuing to keep busy.

Typing this was a bit of a challenge, but now I am used to patterns floating through my vision. My brain says it is no big deal and so I am treating it that way.

Walking in the forest is nice because of all the brown colors the floaters are not bothersome and I can ignore them.

Onward to new adventures despite the coffee thingies in my vision!

The day[s] after eye surgery

 Well Friday morning was a huge surprise after seeing the moon so clearly.

At 9AM the Tech, Josh, called me to follow up with how things were going. 

He had his basic questions that he had to ask. Date of Birth, name, and so forth. Was the eye swollen, red, dripping, fuzzy,...it was a list of things he had to go through. 

Nope, nope, nope, all good.

The sun just broke over the trees when he asked how things were going. I gasped like a little girl and told him that the pine trees outside my house had texture in the bark along with beautiful colors. I said the snow was incredible with all the contrasts of white, blues, and shadows.

Really. I was floored at how incredible things looked. Stunned would be a good word. The world had depth to it.

Josh asked me to look at the chart that I'd been given and stand 10 feet away from it.

What could I see?

Dang, I could read line 8 and sort of stumbled through line 9. He chuckled and then said, "Wow, we are happy when our patients can read the big E at the top of the chart!"

Yep, I was giddy and not from the meds they gave me during surgery. I was giddy at the visual explosions of color, light, and clarity. 

Josh signed off and said he'd talk to me next Friday after the Right Eye Surgery. He said he'd tell Dr. Whitford the good news I relayed to him.

I knew ahead of time that my close up vision couldn't be corrected. So I prepared myself to deal with great distance vision and crappy close vision.
I had purchased a pair of cheap readers. I am totally annoyed at having to wear them on the end of my nose. Maybe I'll get those half glasses. 

Now here is the funny part.

Cons of getting your eyes fixed.

You can see your face without glasses and at my age it looks just weird to me. I can see all the Crow's Feet at the edges of my eyes that my glasses hid. Oh crap, where did all those wrinkles come from??

As I looked in the bathroom mirror, I was aghast at the spots, dust and smears that were on the mirror! OMG. I immediately stopped what I was doing and cleaned it. The clean mirror did not make me look younger. Perhaps I should have left it smeary....

Huh. 

I'm working out a way to use my cheaters for computer work, but it is a pain taking them on and off. I have to peer over them and I don't like that much.

BUT, I can wear regular sunglasses outside and I don't have to wear the Granny Over the Glasses Sunglasses!

Saturday was the first day I ventured out without glasses and took a nice long walk with Mr. Charlie. He was so happy to be out and about with me. 

I took my infrared camera out with a filter that only allows IR in Black and White. I know, odd choice after being able to see colors. But I could see such wonderful contrasts through the view finder.

For now, I spent a very limited time using my computer. But as time goes on I imagine I'll get back into the swing of things.

Charlie walking with me on the road:

Charlie saying he will not enter deep snow with his vest on:

Beautiful contrasts:

Surgical Fun

 A nurse came out to the waiting room and asked a few questions and talked to Olive and I. She wanted to confirm that I had a driver.

Back in the little pre surgical room she asked more questions.
Did I take two showers, sleep in clean sheets, no lotions, no pets in bed?...and so forth.

Then came all the wires and hook ups and a blood pressure reading which made their eyes pop. I heard one nurse look at my chart and say "white coat syndrome". Indeed, the quickest way to increase my blood pressure is to put me in a room and put the cuff on me. They dug a bit deeper into my chart which showed my normal readings to be well, very normal. 

The nurse put dilator goo that also was a local anesthetic in my eye. So, I was hyper and anxious and now couldn't see much through the Vaselined Eye.

In 20 minutes they checked the pressure again and I'd done some deep breathing and mental calming. My pressure was good.
The guy across the hall actually helped immensely. He was in for his second cataract/lens surgery.

The nurse asked him how he was getting along with the new lens, he said good but it was blurry once in a while. She replied, "Give it a couple of weeks so your brain can adjust to the new view."

He laughed such a wonderful laugh and replied to her, "Oh darlin', I am a Norwegian! We better give my brain a whole lot longer!"

The handsome eye doctor came in and fiddled with something and then discussed a 14 degree something and some techno wizard words. Then he initialed my left eyebrow. He told me to look straight at the hall way and then came in and touched my eye with something. I couldn't feel it.

He turned to the assistant and said something about that's the mark for the lens.
I asked him if he just put marks on my eyeball! 
"I did! See you soon!"

I got some really nasty tasting grape flavored goo to put under my tongue. [The day will be filled with goo references] It was Versed which is worse tasting than the grape flavored cough syrup kids of my generation had to have.
That med is supposed to sedate you. I didn't feel sedated. 

So when they came to get me I steeled myself for the surgery.

They put a mask like thing over my face and then pulled off an opening over my left eye. I was a bit surprised and then I felt more drops and a sudden pressure. Ahhh, they clamped the eye open! 

[And I didn't care! I was diggin' the pretty white light with all the green blobby stuff moving around, it was like a pretty kaleidoscope of green and white with dark shadows.]
Obviously, the Versed worked.

I heard the doctor's voice as he was saying what he was doing, it didn't make any sense to me. But at least he had a nice voice.

I don't remember them pulling the mask thing off my face, but I was wheeled down the corridor and that was it.

They wheeled me out to the entrance and off I went with Olive as my wheel woman. We did a KwiK Trip breakfast of croissants and coffee as we drove home.

All the rest of the day, I wore sunglasses in the house. Light bothered me, everything in the good eye was drippy with tears and fuzzy. It felt like I had an eyeful of hay chaff and I couldn't read. My weak eye went on strike and I went to bed with headphone and Chill Out Music from Pandora.

I was so frustrated. The big surprise of the day was that Rich asked if I needed some water to drink, could he make popcorn, could he get me some fresh Kleenex's for my drippy gooey eye? Could he feed Charlie for me?

I went to bed early and somewhere in the middle of the night, my eye stopped being drippy and weepy. It stopped itching and feeling gooey.

I woke up and stepped outside at 3AM to look up at the moon with no glasses on. I covered my weaker eye.

Can you imagine seeing the moon clearly for the first time in ages? Can you imagine seeing the moon with my own eyes for the first time ever without a halo around it?

I could have cried.

Thanks to everyone who commented yesterday. I couldn't see to read the comments until this morning. 

What next?

Well, February 2nd is my first Cataract Surgery. From what I understand it will take longer for prep and recovery from the mild sedative than it will for the entire surgery.

I've been told that colors will be more vibrant and white won't look beige any more. That is interesting as my brain is seeing snow as white, right?

Then I had this terrible thought. If my colors are all off, how has my photography in the past year or so been affected? I guess I will find out.

It has been nearly 60 years since I had eye surgery to help correct my vision. I am eternally grateful to my parents who made sure I had this eye surgery when I was little. By the time I reached 6th grade, I only had to wear glasses to read if my eyes were tired. I lived a childhood without being teased for crooked eyes. 

So I won't be posting or writing on Thursday.
My vision is supposed to be a bit blurry
and of course I'll be goofy from the sedation which could
last for about 24 hours.
😏

I'm writing this on Wednesday afternoon while waiting on a text for the time I'm to show up for my 'thing'.

So I will give you one more Lego indoor fun photo project to enjoy.

Items used. Blocks from our house remodel that I painted and put in a large tote for when children came over to play at my house. The little ol' fella from my Lego collection. I call him Rich...Oh and of course, his chicken.

And this is how it turned out.

Home Sweet Home

Have a great Thursday. I know I will.

Update: I have to leave the house at 5:30AM! Yikes!