CareGivers Nightmare!

We got a summons for Jury Duty for my husband with a note that said if there were concerns to call the clerk's office.

I'd filled out the form indicating my husband's health/memory/and mobility issues for them over a month or so ago. I talked to the clerk who rolled her eyes and took it from me. Her comment was "We'll look at it."

They didn't. So I called and she indicated that the only way they would accept the fact that a housebound veteran was unable to serve was with a doctor's note faxed to them.

Puuuuhhhhhleeeese. 

Roll my eyes. For real?

I consider this scenario. Bring hubby in with his 02.

I would hand over instructions asking for a nurse to be at his side to monitor his 02 levels and set up his nebulizer 3 times a day. I'd need a nurse or deputy to handle his medications that are taken every two to three hours. [Pain meds are in there so I'd need to know I could trust said nurse or deputy.]

I'd give instructions on getting him to the washroom right away and to have a nurse or deputy make sure he was able to finish. I'd provide them with clean clothes and adult diapers for accidents in case they take too long to get him to the washroom.

There would also need to be a person to help him understand the words people were saying because it doesn't always compute after his stroke.

By the way, do they have a cot for him to lay down on? He can generally stay awake for about 2 to 3 hours before he has to lay down. 

I'd have to bring his concentrator and CPAP and have someone familiar with Respiratory Therapy to set it up. 

If it would be disruptive to the court proceedings, I guess that would be their issue. 

They could call for a ride when he is finished and sit with him until I arrived to pick him up because he is unable to drive or find his way home [11 miles out of town]

Instead, I messaged the case worker on his Palliative Care Team and she informed me she'd ask for a letter and then email it to me to print out and give to the Clerk. They will not fax because of HIPPA, but I can take it to them as his health agent.

I imagine a lot of folks try to get out of Jury Duty. I enjoyed the two times I've done it over the years. And I get it. They have to be tough on asking for jurors and it is our job as citizens to serve. 

Our county is well known for not bending at all. I assume lots of people make up excuses. 

I am even wondering if the letter handed to them by ME would even suffice. 

As caring people, we are almost used to a problem coming out of blue to muck things up.  It isn't much different than being a mother, except we are a mother to another adult.

Roll with the flow they say.

Hopefully, this will deal with the Juror issue. 

Aging

There is something about aging that is great and wonderful and also so interesting and sad at the same time.

Of course none of us young folk ever thought that we would age. Surely we would never become like our Great Grandparents, Grandparents, or evenlike our own parents.

Oh what a surprise! My father would have been 103 if he were still around. My mom? How did she become someone frail and in her later 80's? 

My husband had warned me when we first met that he had severe health issues from his days in the Army and overseas. But we became soulmates and that cannot be changed by anything!

We forgot that aging would creep up on us too. I used to roll my eyes a lot when others would complain about their health or how many scans they did, or the meds they were on. Rich and I would wonder would we make that the topic of our everyday discussions?

We don't. 

Then Covid-19 arrived and I could no longer visit his mom twice weekly in the nursing home. It dawned on me that Big Berthie was lonely for family, even if she had forgotten about where she used to live and had lost memories she used to have...she never forgot about her son or daughter. 
She would recall that her daughter would call, but not recall why her daughter didn't visit.

She would talk to Rich nearly daily but not recall that he too, was a very ill person and had trouble getting out and about.

Some days I'd visit her in the home and she'd be asleep in bed. I'd sit in her room and read a book or return when I knew the staff would get her up for a meal.

I used to think that going into a nursing home to visit would be too dreary, too nasty, and maybe I'd catch something from all those folks I'd see in wheelchairs and laying in beds. Or simply by being there amongst all those folks too frail to live on their own that I'd catch Sadness and be Sad.

What I did find was the reverse. I found that visiting at meal time was actually quite enjoyable. There was laughter and jokes along with insane conversations that only could occur in minds that didn't connect to the Wifi. Or to put for others to understand, they had a bad sector in their hard drives [or brains]. Rebooting was not the solution. We just went with the flow.

Covid-19 has changed the very fabric of our social equation. Isolation for those who have health issues is more severe than ever. 

There is a strong divide between those that feel that Covid is nothing and those who feel that Covid is a threat to their very being.

My husband says he'd rather die of a heart attack than Covid. He never wants to see the inside of a hospital again. His experience on the Covid floor last year when he did not have Covid was insane.

He can remember that. The Bubble Heads and Space People in the middle of the night. The drugs and the nightmares.

So we set rules down. I get food and supplies. He stays home. He has always been a bit of a loner, but at an auction or other event like that... he used to be so sociable and outgoing. 

He does love company even though he says he doesn't. He doesn't want company because he doesn't want his past friends to hear him talk with Aphasia or see him struggle to breath. 

Seeing his daughter or grands or even his adopted 'kids' from Missouri make him smile and grin for days.

And so the other day... I was monkeying around with stuff in the kitchen and happened to have my camera near me. I turned and so this.

I leave you with this....

 

Surprises

Good Morning on

the Ridge

Good Morning

from the

Creek!

I'm never exactly sure what each day will bring. But yesterday was full of one surprise after another.

There was a beautiful sunrise. 

I admit it. I can rarely sleep past sunrise in the summer. Then it is a struggle to stay up past dark in the evening!

It takes about an hour or so for the sun to shine into the valley. I'm always amazed at how I can watch the sun arrive on the ridge and then walk leisurely to the creek and watch it arrive in the valley.

After I settled Lil' Richard and Sven into their grazing areas for the day and moved the mules to their next rotation, I came in and called our hay guy. When the pastures get short and there isn't much browsing left, I feed some hay to supplement their diets. The mules will eat berry briars and do a fair job of cleaning the woods, but I don't want the two hard keepers to lose weight.

I texted the farrier to see if I could schedule a trimming then set out the clippers for doing manes and ears.

Rich surprised me while I was finishing up my work out.

I'd just finished up the WOD or work out of the day. Pictured are my pine cones that I use to mark off how many rounds I'd done. 

70 jump ropes and 10 Rt arm power snatches and 10 Lt arm power snatches.

I'm handicapped by not having those wonderful dumb bells to use like we do in the gym. So my coach has helped me figure out what items I can use around the farm as weights.

This was a 10 lb sledgehammer.

The reason I mention this is not because I want anyone to be impressed that I work out. 

I want to mention that Rich has taken an interest in finding items that I can substitute as weights.

[Working out has helped me regain strength in my shoulders and it actually makes me feel better. I think it is important for me to do this for my physical and mental health. Doing Virtual WOD's has been a bonus for me. If I don't have time to do the work out first thing in the morning, I do it later in the day. I've missed less workouts this way! But I DO miss the gym and the camaraderie.]

Yesterday he found a 12 lb anchor and a 15 lb anchor for me to use as 'Kettle Bells' for weighted squats.

Rich walked over to his skid steer and fired it up.

He decided to work on those old ruts between the busted up garage and the large shed. I did the shovel work and he gave me directions.

That may sound a bit lopsided, but with his lung issues, he gets out of breath quickly. We've always been fairly good at working together.

I shoveled and he directed. When I got the deep holes filled in he was able to drop the dirt and smooth it out.

I'll plant grass seed when he is finished and the 'lane' will be repaired.

For the afternoon I grabbed my kindergarten pad and Charlie's pillow. I sat on the porch with him while Rich slept. I decided to listen to the birds and read a book.

Charlie seems to be the 

King of Relaxation Techniques.

I don't know if I can attribute my home work outs to Rich's increase in activity, but since I ask him to help 'time' me or find items for me to use, it seems he has more interest in life. 

Last night when the hay man came, Rich walked out and talked with him a bit [distanced of course]. Rich hasn't walked out to talk to the hay guy in two years.

Daryl remarked how wonderful it was to see Rich engaged and even more impressive was that he just got in the skid steer and unloaded the hay with no apparent effort.

Since 2017 he has struggled with everything.

Life may suck out there beyond the borders of our farm but I get to see a different kind of hope.

I get to see my husband again. 

2019

What did 2019 bring us?

Well. Hmm.
NO medical incidents! Wow. That was awesome!
Family unrest. Well, yes that happened.

MDD. I visited the black hole with Rich. And it is not a pretty place. However by June we saw him climb out of despair.

I learned to drive the skid steer. I broke the skid steer. I hired out to get it fixed. Becoming a shade tree mechanic is NOT my forte.
But I can change the oil in the little mower. I got help to do the 4 wheeler and the big mower. Both are in line for a tune up this spring.

MIL was taken to the nursing home. Her Helping Hands folks were doing their best, but her health was precarious and her slippage was getting the best of her.

I discovered Infrared photography with a little converted pocket camera. I fell head over heels in love with the look.

I met Miss Molly and she was a welcome relief from constant running to Pulmonary Therapy appointments and physical therapy. She made me stop and ride mules with her. I have her to thank for many things.

I bought a cross between a road and dirt bike and rediscovered bicycling distances. If I had fenders, I'd be out on these nice days fighting the wicked muddy gravel roads!

Rich had the knee bursa moved and it was a great success. The attending doctor described it as 'kinda gross looking'.

We had some great visits from my Kenosha Gang and I got to dog sit Teslin!

When I look back on the years, I generally see them as pretty good. I'm lucky to be with a partner that I really respect and love and I know it is reciprocated but not always very evident.
Yes I am Rich's CareGiver, but I am his partner too.

Our lives are pretty good. We have a roof over our heads, plenty to eat, and we have each other.
Color me blessed.

How lucky am I too also be making new friends through CrossFit.

Last but not least is a new interest in macro photography.

Oh there is so much more, but I will leave things like that.

About Morris

Mr. Silver Face had two incidents in the past week that caused us concern.

I was walking with Morris in the summer pasture and squatted to take a photo of a dandelion.

When I stood up, Mr. Morris was nowhere to be found. I called, I walked around, I called.
Then I yelled quite angrily because I figured he was messing with me.

After about 15 minutes of hollering for him, I decided that he must have got it in his head to go home and wait for me. However that didn't make much sense as he didn't like to go under the electric fence by the gate.

I jogged home.
No Morris.

I went back to the meadow and walked around.
Now my calling for Morris sounded pretty scary. I was getting afraid, then angry, then afraid again.

I walked back to the gate and stood.
Then I headed back down the grass lane towards the house.

I turned around and here came Mr. Morris walking slowly behind me.

"Where were you?" I asked really peeved. He dropped his ears and walked slowly past me. I reached out and picked him up.
"You had me worried!"

He just looked at me.

I forgot about the incident until yesterday when it happened again.
Rich was standing on the porch and Morris was on the west side of the house sniffing around down near the electric fence. It was part of the yard we still had to grade and reseed from the mess of remodeling last year.

I was digging up a section for flowers next to the house.

Rich and I were talking about the rain and how wet everything was. Then he asked me where the dog was.

I looked around.
No Mr. Morris.

I called.
He called.

We started walking around the house thinking he'd gone into the shed where the hoof trimmings from Saturday were still in a pile. He wasn't there.

I began yelling.
Rich began yelling.

Suddenly I heard Rich call my name and say, "Found him!"

Rich had a concerned look on his face.
Morris walked slowly towards the porch sort of in a vague manner as if the porch was his destination but he wasn't sure how to get to it.

"I think he had a stroke or something," Rich said. "He was under the fence in that tall grass and it was like he couldn't get up and then he ..." Rich made a motion with his hands in a circle. "He went 'round and 'round. He is not okay?"

Morris walked by me to the door and paced back and forth. I checked him over. He was wet from the wet grass and otherwise his eyes looked clear and bright.

I let him in the house and Morris went to his crate and curled up with a sigh.

Last night Morris got the red carpet treatment from Rich. I caught Rich petting him while we sat on the couch and tried to watch a program.

Halfway through Rich commented that too many things were going on and he didn't understand the story.

Morris is following Rich around the house today. This morning I watched as Morris lay by the door to the bedroom when he heard Rich stirring.

"Old Dog, Old Man" ... says Rich.
"We get along."

Pets and Animals

I heard an interesting program on my drive to work the other day.  The discussion was about pets and animals and the Healing power of them.

Well, of course they were discussing something I was already aware of.  Most owners of equine realize that the animal they work with helps build self confidence [if all goes correctly] and sometimes it can build a bond like no human bond can be found.

An equine doesn't judge you but is a mirror of what is inside you.  The equine does not lie.  I have found over the years in my dealings with mules that they are very sensitive.  They can sometimes pick and choose a person and exclude all else.  I've seen that with Badger, Opal, and Siera.

Dogs on the other hand adore you no matter what.  They think that the ground you walk on is made of gold.  Dogs make you laugh.  Dogs love you even if you feed them just plain dog food every night.

To have a dog [or cat] in your household is a wonderful thing.  

I guess sometimes people think it is too much of a bother.

I've done 'time' without a pet in my house.  It is not fun.  I need that animal for some reason!

Animals have other health benefits also.  They keep your immune system healthy.  :)

I think I knew that!

The guest on the show insisted that all children should be surrounded by pets, it would help their immune system greatly.  I guess studies have been done that have proven that children brought up in a 'sterile' environment fair worse with their health and allergies.  Whereas, a child brought up with animals, or even on a farm fair so much better.

I think I knew that without the study.

But there you go!