Aging

There is something about aging that is great and wonderful and also so interesting and sad at the same time.

Of course none of us young folk ever thought that we would age. Surely we would never become like our Great Grandparents, Grandparents, or evenlike our own parents.

Oh what a surprise! My father would have been 103 if he were still around. My mom? How did she become someone frail and in her later 80's? 

My husband had warned me when we first met that he had severe health issues from his days in the Army and overseas. But we became soulmates and that cannot be changed by anything!

We forgot that aging would creep up on us too. I used to roll my eyes a lot when others would complain about their health or how many scans they did, or the meds they were on. Rich and I would wonder would we make that the topic of our everyday discussions?

We don't. 

Then Covid-19 arrived and I could no longer visit his mom twice weekly in the nursing home. It dawned on me that Big Berthie was lonely for family, even if she had forgotten about where she used to live and had lost memories she used to have...she never forgot about her son or daughter. 
She would recall that her daughter would call, but not recall why her daughter didn't visit.

She would talk to Rich nearly daily but not recall that he too, was a very ill person and had trouble getting out and about.

Some days I'd visit her in the home and she'd be asleep in bed. I'd sit in her room and read a book or return when I knew the staff would get her up for a meal.

I used to think that going into a nursing home to visit would be too dreary, too nasty, and maybe I'd catch something from all those folks I'd see in wheelchairs and laying in beds. Or simply by being there amongst all those folks too frail to live on their own that I'd catch Sadness and be Sad.

What I did find was the reverse. I found that visiting at meal time was actually quite enjoyable. There was laughter and jokes along with insane conversations that only could occur in minds that didn't connect to the Wifi. Or to put for others to understand, they had a bad sector in their hard drives [or brains]. Rebooting was not the solution. We just went with the flow.

Covid-19 has changed the very fabric of our social equation. Isolation for those who have health issues is more severe than ever. 

There is a strong divide between those that feel that Covid is nothing and those who feel that Covid is a threat to their very being.

My husband says he'd rather die of a heart attack than Covid. He never wants to see the inside of a hospital again. His experience on the Covid floor last year when he did not have Covid was insane.

He can remember that. The Bubble Heads and Space People in the middle of the night. The drugs and the nightmares.

So we set rules down. I get food and supplies. He stays home. He has always been a bit of a loner, but at an auction or other event like that... he used to be so sociable and outgoing. 

He does love company even though he says he doesn't. He doesn't want company because he doesn't want his past friends to hear him talk with Aphasia or see him struggle to breath. 

Seeing his daughter or grands or even his adopted 'kids' from Missouri make him smile and grin for days.

And so the other day... I was monkeying around with stuff in the kitchen and happened to have my camera near me. I turned and so this.

I leave you with this....

 

Do over?

I wanna do Thursday over. Can I?

The photo above was an attempt at an experiment with AF Starry Sky. Auto Focus Starry sky comes with the Olympus M1 Mark iii. Actually it sort of turned out pretty okay but I can try this on a much warmer night. I stink at this, but will try and get better.

Our hike at KVR was nice. The weather was perfect, the footing was not perfect but we knew that. The trails were a mix of slush, compacted rough ice, and mud. But we took it slow.

All in all, the adventure was very uneventful. Bill checked out some campsites and we just enjoyed the weather and bright sunlight. 

I got home and walked into the house. Rich greeted me with a few problems. He'd taken a glass of water to the table and spilled it on himself and the chair which included the little pad on it. He'd tried to clean it up as best he could.

He then decided to cut up and apple when he saw us parking the car. Instead he cut his thumb.

He has Essential Tremor which gets much worse when he is trying to eat things like soup or work on a project. Both of his parents had issues with it. Some mornings he can't get his own coffee and when he insists, I have a coffee trail on the floor and coffee down the side of cabinets.

So I walked into the door with him dripping blood everywhere and apologies. I grabbed a clean brown colored washcloth and told him to put pressure on the cut after we washed it. It was deep but clean. 

He is on blood thinners enough so that if he falls, I am to dial 911. 

As I was cleaning up blood and cutting up gauze to wrap up the thumb, the Oxygen guy came.

Apparently he called while I was out and Rich just let it go to voicemail.

Blood on the floor, blood on the table, a dog going crazy and the 02 guy coming to check the concentrator. 

I grabbed masks and let him in to deal with the concentrator [maintenance work]. It hadn't been touched or checked on since Memorial Day Weekend last year.

Pressure on the cut, blood seepage.

I shut off the heat and opened the windows. [Thinking to air out the house with a person that is NOT from our household. He was masked with a neck gaiter.]

More seepage and blood spatters on the wall from where the blood was still dripping.

The 02 guy had pulled around my Subaru and into the Dreaded Muck. Now I had a bleeding thumb and a huge van stuck in mud.

I ran out and told him to stop spinning the wheels.

Now he was frantic. But at least I'd finished cutting up Rich's apple and had something soaking up the blood.

I asked the guy if he now understood WHY I'd parked the 'Ru to keep him from going towards the house. 

Um. Yeah.

I walked to the junk pile around the back of the shed an yanked out two large pieces of expanded metal. I set them under the rear tires of the van and told the driver to ease forward and not to stop once he got going.

The metal gave him grip and stability and off he went.

I finally got the bleeding stopped and Rich took a well deserved nap. I finished airing out the house and took the opportunity to also clean the heater before I turned it back on.

I think I got all the blood too. 

Rich and I had a discussion after he got up. I asked if maybe he shouldn't be cutting things up when I wasn't around. He shrugged. 

I'm noting this day. I'll be talking with the CareGiver lady at the VA next week. I might just give them an update.

And then there is this thought. Do I dare leave him alone for an hour or two? 

We'd discussed this very thing last year with his Psych doctor. Rich is adamant about not having a Baby Sitter. He DOES not need watching over. 

And yet....

The FB Portal

Gosh, there sure isn't much to talk about these days.
We received something called Facebook Portal through the Red Cross for Veterans that are pretty much stuck at home. I learned about it from the VA's Vantage Point Blog.

I was very leery of anything 'free' so I called the Caregivers folks and they said yes indeed the items were free and the promotion was free to the first 7,400 veterans that applied. I applied and then forgot about it.

I got an email from the Red Cross notifying me of a delivery date via FedEx and lo and behold, this was delivered.

It works by using contacts through Messenger on FB [yeah I don't like FB that much, but I have it]. When set up you can activate the voice and camera and ask it to call someone on your contact list.

So we talked with his daughter on Friday with the grandkids using the Portal. There is a 'smart' camera that detects motion so if one walks out of the room and back the camera sort of follows.
The sound is good and the video is excellent.

On Saturday Rich wanted to talk with Kristi from Missouri and see the boys. Kristi is like a second daughter to him. The kids showed Rich all of the lego stuff, talked about their Advent Calendar and Rich was able to see everyone.

On Sunday he wanted to do a Portal call to my oldest son. Again, lots of waving and laughter, checking out Covid Hairdos and holding up dogs to the camera.

The Portal has a slider to put over the camera to shut it off or you can manually shut it off. It will show a slide show of photos and you can connect it to Alexa through Amazon to play music or ask for the weather. 

I use it once in a while to play music while I am in the kitchen doing things. Otherwise I just unplug it and stick it off to the side.
All in all it really put a huge smile on Rich's face to be able to SEE and interact with those he loved. 

The premise behind the Red Cross effort with the VA was to put isolated veterans in touch with their friends and family. Sure most people can use zoom or a smart phone or duo...or they can be like Rich and not have a smart phone or computer. This is perfect for him.

Last night I loaded photos from my FB feed onto the Portal and let it cycle through while we ate supper. Rich enjoyed looking at the photos of old hound dogs, Morris, mules that had passed on, and the grands when they were little. 

After we 'hung' up with Eddie, he leaned back and smiled. "Boy that was fun, I sure like that a lot!"

I have read mixed reviews about the Portal and some people hate it. All I know is that it is making one Veteran very happy. And that is good enough for me.