Aging

There is something about aging that is great and wonderful and also so interesting and sad at the same time.

Of course none of us young folk ever thought that we would age. Surely we would never become like our Great Grandparents, Grandparents, or evenlike our own parents.

Oh what a surprise! My father would have been 103 if he were still around. My mom? How did she become someone frail and in her later 80's? 

My husband had warned me when we first met that he had severe health issues from his days in the Army and overseas. But we became soulmates and that cannot be changed by anything!

We forgot that aging would creep up on us too. I used to roll my eyes a lot when others would complain about their health or how many scans they did, or the meds they were on. Rich and I would wonder would we make that the topic of our everyday discussions?

We don't. 

Then Covid-19 arrived and I could no longer visit his mom twice weekly in the nursing home. It dawned on me that Big Berthie was lonely for family, even if she had forgotten about where she used to live and had lost memories she used to have...she never forgot about her son or daughter. 
She would recall that her daughter would call, but not recall why her daughter didn't visit.

She would talk to Rich nearly daily but not recall that he too, was a very ill person and had trouble getting out and about.

Some days I'd visit her in the home and she'd be asleep in bed. I'd sit in her room and read a book or return when I knew the staff would get her up for a meal.

I used to think that going into a nursing home to visit would be too dreary, too nasty, and maybe I'd catch something from all those folks I'd see in wheelchairs and laying in beds. Or simply by being there amongst all those folks too frail to live on their own that I'd catch Sadness and be Sad.

What I did find was the reverse. I found that visiting at meal time was actually quite enjoyable. There was laughter and jokes along with insane conversations that only could occur in minds that didn't connect to the Wifi. Or to put for others to understand, they had a bad sector in their hard drives [or brains]. Rebooting was not the solution. We just went with the flow.

Covid-19 has changed the very fabric of our social equation. Isolation for those who have health issues is more severe than ever. 

There is a strong divide between those that feel that Covid is nothing and those who feel that Covid is a threat to their very being.

My husband says he'd rather die of a heart attack than Covid. He never wants to see the inside of a hospital again. His experience on the Covid floor last year when he did not have Covid was insane.

He can remember that. The Bubble Heads and Space People in the middle of the night. The drugs and the nightmares.

So we set rules down. I get food and supplies. He stays home. He has always been a bit of a loner, but at an auction or other event like that... he used to be so sociable and outgoing. 

He does love company even though he says he doesn't. He doesn't want company because he doesn't want his past friends to hear him talk with Aphasia or see him struggle to breath. 

Seeing his daughter or grands or even his adopted 'kids' from Missouri make him smile and grin for days.

And so the other day... I was monkeying around with stuff in the kitchen and happened to have my camera near me. I turned and so this.

I leave you with this....

 

Strange times

So no yard mowing today due to heavy particles of smoke in the air. That put the kabash on the Big Plan for the day. 

I guess if the grass really got out of hand, I'd do what I did in 2008 and again in 2016. Put a hot wire around parts of the yard and let my critters do the mowing.

Instead I picked berries this morning then closed up the house for the A/C to hopefully keep hubby feeling healthier.

Cell phone shots of the berries. 

The top photo is from the top of the ridge and the unripe ones are midway down into the valley. There are micro climates in our woods and I am beginning to understand that certain areas will produce berries in different stages.

Since I couldn't mow due to how wet it was and how bad the air was, I collected some flowers to try 'pressing' and drying. I dyed some Queen Anne's Lace with food coloring and some Fleabane.

Here is my sample of flowers I am pressing between two boards:

There is also Chicory, wild Vervain, Cosmos, Bee Balm, and Marigold. This method is supposed to take about a week or more.
I have to change the paper every few days to draw the moisture out. I used some rocks from my garden as weight for the top board.

Now I have some ideas of trying to put some of the flowers on handmade greeting cards so I will watch some videos of that. Another option is to place the pressed flowers into a picture frame and use it as a decoration?

It all started because I wanted some Queen Anne's Lace to use for some Still Life photos and perhaps dry some for a bouquet in the winter. 

What strange times we live in, when the midday sun is but an orange orb in the sky.

I almost feel like I am living in a science fiction novel.

A secondary smoke plume will then be
transported southward across the state Saturday afternoon into early
Sunday morning. Elevated fine particulate matter (PM2.5)
concentrations are anticipated to result in air quality index (AQI)
values in the UNHEALTHY FOR SENSITIVE GROUPS level over this period.
Sensitive groups include children, elderly people, individuals with
respiratory and cardiac problems, and anyone engaged in strenuous
outdoor activities for a prolonged period of time.

So... I was out doing garden work and dead heading the petunias when something very odd happened. I noticed I had a splotch of brown paint or maybe bug goo on my glasses. It was in sharp focus and moved when I stood up. Totally freaky! 
So I grabbed my glassed off and it was still there.
I brushed my face because, just well, because.
It moved and then swirled. I dropped my crap right then and there and headed to the house. 
Visit to Urgent Care sent me to the ED. After some testing I was given the diagnosis.
Vitreous Hemmorrhage. 
Vitreous is the clear gel in the center of your eye. Mine had blood in it. 
I will see an Ophthalmologist on Monday.
No bending. No lifting. No straining. No exercise. Damn, they should have included NO cooking too.
I get to sleep sitting up.  
I am not in pain but apparently this needs to be figured out and I don't need more blood seeping around in my eye. It sort of looked like this, but brown:

I still see stuff floating about and coming into my visual field. Hmmm. Mmmm.
Strange Times indeed.
Have a great weekend.