Here we go!

Charlie got his first Pup Cup at Culvers on our way home from the vet where we got his nails trimmed up nicely and his flea and tick meds for the next 3 months.

Yikes. Let's just say $$$$!

However hubby wanted a sandwich from Culvers so I went through the drive up with Charlie, it was too hot to leave him in the car while I ordered.

So the gals at the pay window went nuts when they saw Charlie and asked if he could have a Pup Cup. 

Charlie decided it was awesome and that he'd definitely go to town again with me and get Dad a 'Sammich' at Culvers.

I think it also helped him with the 'trauma' of getting his toenails trimmed. -- He howls when it is done even though he is not being hurt! What a goofy dog!

Below is one of the colorful Lilies I ordered from Edens Garden this spring. I was gobsmacked by how beautiful this was! I have six of them in different colors and I now will make sure to locate them in a place where I can enjoy them more next year.

Another kind of seed - flower I ordered. I don't recall the name, but I love the delicate ferny leaves it has. These are blooming in blue and white. I can imagine planting a huge plot of them! 

Their seed pods are really quite cool too.

Guess who will be collecting these seeds for next year!

I would love it if my things that I had to go get done would fall on days that were more convenient. You know, like a respite day.

But that isn't how life is. 

Just when you think you have things all figured out...  🤯🤯🤯🤯

Things go sideways.

So I brought Rich home his Rueben and discovered that they didn't put the dressing on the sandwich. Hmmm. 

I had to get a cloth to wash up his hands and turned the water on warm...I nearly got scalded. 

WHUT?

Hmmm?

I tried the bathroom faucet, same thing, bathtub, same thing. I assumed then that the water heater [electric] had malfunctioned and the element or whatever that controlled the temperature had failed. 

I went downstairs and shut the power off to the water heater while I was on the phone to the plumbing company we use. 

The gal said she'd have someone out tomorrow between 2 and 4 would that be okay? 
Yes, sure it would.

Then she said if she could get someone out earlier in the morning would that be okay?

Yup.

Oops. Well tomorrow is Tammy's second Respite shift here and it looks like I can't go 'Respiting' [is that even a word?]. However, it would be a good time for the two of us to get to know each other better and I could answer her questions about other things.

AND

I could take time to do some purging in the basement without any interruptions while waiting for the plumber. 

AND I could do some fence fixing down in the woods without worrying about leaving hubby on his own while I was a quarter mile away in the back 40!

AND I could go hunt up fungi and slime mold and ... play Legos and...ohhh the possibilities are endless! 

While I was out doing a bit of weeding, I noticed my neighbor with his monster sized skid steer brush hogging his messy pasture. Ding Ding! 🤯

I had another brain strain. I've been calling around and trying to get someone to come out and cut up my weeds/pasture and a little bell went off in my brain.

Gary and his wife to the west of us have always said, if you need something. Just ask.

So I sent a message to Kim and asked if Gary could mow/hog/whatever ... our front pasture and the meadow. 

I am awaiting the answer. It is okay if he says no, I'll just be back to my square one.

This year, I am doing a lot of asking. I asked Justin for help, he helped. I asked Olive for help, she helped [we trade off to each other all of the time], I asked Steve [fishing buddy] for help. He will bring a crew this fall to cut the trees off the fenceline and help me clean up another area. 

Oh and now I see that my text looks weird on this post. Yeah, I'm not going to fix it. That happened when I copied and pasted the brain exploding . Huh. 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Well, I won't do that again. I'll just stop here before more brain explosions go off in my head and call it quits. I refuse to go back and fix everything tonight with the headache I have echoing in my head.

Tomorrow is another adventure.

Busy Busy Sunday

I started the morning out by going into a little blind I set up the night before. It is supposed to be a hunting blind but I thought I'd use it as a photography blind in the hopes that I'd actually be able to watch and photograph some deer.

I got into the blind and zipped up before 6AM. I had my coffee in a thermos. I'd placed a chair inside along with a bucket to use as a 'table'. 
For over an hour I just sat and listened to the birds waking up and other soft morning noises around me.

I decided that nothing was going to happen. It was going to be a bust. So I poured a tiny thermos cup of coffee an sipped it. 

When I looked up I saw deer emerging from the woods.

Soon there were two groups of them. Some young ones raced around the meadow while the others browsed. 
Two young bucks came out and expressed interest in the does. 

Last week I'd caught a nice buck on camera too, but that buck was still in velvet.  These guys aren't. 

So HAH! The blind worked! I waited until the deer left the meadow and then left the blind and headed back to the house.

So the evening before I set up the blind Charlie and I had a Skunk Encounter. I was getting stakes that were made for round bale covers out of a bucket in a shed we rarely visit. I heard thumping behind me and turned to see Charlie and a skunk were about a foot from each other staring each other down.

The skunk had stomped its feet to warn us. Thankfully, the skunk was also between two old barn wood doors that were stacked together and it couldn't turn around.

We exited quickly. [Today the shed gets mothballed and ammonia treated. We don't need a skunk close to the house.]

Charlie and I took two walks yesterday. One to change SD cards in the trail cams out in the woods and see what has been visiting our deer/mule trails.

The bobcat is using the trail more frequently that he/she has before. One trail showed so many photos of a busy squirrel and then raccoons in the night. There were lots of deer also. One nice buck with a 10 point rack showed up and stood right before the camera as if he was posing for us.

Our second walk was to look for fall colors on our ridge and compare it to last year. Last year the leaves had already started turning on the ridge. This year? Not yet!

The ridge is still very green looking. The sky was blue, and the day was beautiful even if it was breezy.

Charlie and I chose to walk around the field above. Another field was being chopped with a combine and trucks were literally racing up and down the gravel road. 

Walking through the hayfield was hard for Charlie, his short legs just aren't built for deep grass. However we eventually came out in the oat field where the cover crop was and walked along there.

Charlie was happier about that.

Your view when you are 7 inches tall.

Back at home...it was time for chores.

Oh! I forgot to mention that we have new neighbors! My now ex-neighbor Justin finally answered my text when I asked if they were moving. The next morning I met the new folks.

Their names are Justin and Cybil and they have two little ones. 

For Rich's sake I call the new Justin.... Justin 2.0. 

Whew.

This week promises to be crazy too. 

My Osteoblasts are fighting my Osteoclasts!

 

I thought this was interesting in a way. I had a visit with an Endocrinologist yesterday. The first line of meds for those folks with bone loss is a med called Alendrontae. I did not get along with that medication at all. I didn't suffer GI issues, but the other issues were pretty severe. 

An Endocrinologist treats conditions related to the body's hormone issues. Apparently some hormonal part of my body forgot to tell the Osteoclasts to quit with the TNT sabotage or perhaps my Osteoblasts went on vacation?

Emily, the PA, was excellent at going over everything and asking the questions she needed to. She spoke directly to me and looked me in the eye. She did not stare at the keyboard and just type. 
She then told me what she was writing as she typed it into my visit notes.

We discussed the severity of my Osteoporosis. A score of -2.6 is severe. That is in my right hip joint. You know the part that swivels the hips? But wait! 
GO Big or Go Home!

My low back has a score of -4.4 

And what does that mean? Kinda like my bone loss is equivalent to a really really old lady? 

I prefer to think of myself as having bird bones, except I can't fly.

So some medication choices were discussed. The first med I tried made me extremely sick but is generally the first line of medication choices and works well. They are in a class of bisphosphates which my system doesn't like much.

So we discussed alternatives. Two meds that actually help rebuild bone use daily injections for 18 months. After 18 months, a med that is supposed to maintain the Osteoblast Guys and prevent the Osteoclasts from blowing me up is taken for the rest of my life.

So hmm. The rebuilders are called: Foteo and Tymlos. Average cost with no coverage per month for these meds are about $2000. I don't see it in the formulary for my medications. However the doctor has someone doing some research. 

The alternate maintenance med is in the formulary.

Osteoporosis is not painful. It is arthritis that hurts along with fractures. The diagnosis really threw me for a loop. I'm supposed to be Superwoman, right?  

Exercise in the proper way, good diet, and positive outlook are all helpful ingredients that cannot be found in a pill.

Because of the severity, I have a few recommendations. No skydiving, no jumping rope, no box jumps, no running~like distance running, and no twisting with weights or heavy weights over my head.

Good recommendations. Continue daily hiking, do weight bearing exercises, fresh air. Walk the dog, enjoy everyday.

CareGivers Nightmare!

We got a summons for Jury Duty for my husband with a note that said if there were concerns to call the clerk's office.

I'd filled out the form indicating my husband's health/memory/and mobility issues for them over a month or so ago. I talked to the clerk who rolled her eyes and took it from me. Her comment was "We'll look at it."

They didn't. So I called and she indicated that the only way they would accept the fact that a housebound veteran was unable to serve was with a doctor's note faxed to them.

Puuuuhhhhhleeeese. 

Roll my eyes. For real?

I consider this scenario. Bring hubby in with his 02.

I would hand over instructions asking for a nurse to be at his side to monitor his 02 levels and set up his nebulizer 3 times a day. I'd need a nurse or deputy to handle his medications that are taken every two to three hours. [Pain meds are in there so I'd need to know I could trust said nurse or deputy.]

I'd give instructions on getting him to the washroom right away and to have a nurse or deputy make sure he was able to finish. I'd provide them with clean clothes and adult diapers for accidents in case they take too long to get him to the washroom.

There would also need to be a person to help him understand the words people were saying because it doesn't always compute after his stroke.

By the way, do they have a cot for him to lay down on? He can generally stay awake for about 2 to 3 hours before he has to lay down. 

I'd have to bring his concentrator and CPAP and have someone familiar with Respiratory Therapy to set it up. 

If it would be disruptive to the court proceedings, I guess that would be their issue. 

They could call for a ride when he is finished and sit with him until I arrived to pick him up because he is unable to drive or find his way home [11 miles out of town]

Instead, I messaged the case worker on his Palliative Care Team and she informed me she'd ask for a letter and then email it to me to print out and give to the Clerk. They will not fax because of HIPPA, but I can take it to them as his health agent.

I imagine a lot of folks try to get out of Jury Duty. I enjoyed the two times I've done it over the years. And I get it. They have to be tough on asking for jurors and it is our job as citizens to serve. 

Our county is well known for not bending at all. I assume lots of people make up excuses. 

I am even wondering if the letter handed to them by ME would even suffice. 

As caring people, we are almost used to a problem coming out of blue to muck things up.  It isn't much different than being a mother, except we are a mother to another adult.

Roll with the flow they say.

Hopefully, this will deal with the Juror issue. 

One little clump of Fungi

 

This little pretty clump grew on the log next to where I have one of my trail cameras. It was really small maybe an 1.5 inches across the top. I just grabbed a quick shot for a possible ID later. 
One of the books says it was a grey oyster mushroom. Though seriously? I'm not picking and eating things I don't know enough about.

I can forage quite a few wild plants, but the fungi/mushroom world is still a work in progress for me.

Day two...They are starting to look ragged and breaking down. Tiny insects were all over them. Small enough to be 'flea' sized!

The didn't smell bad but a flurry of tiny bugs flew up when I poked the fungi.

Day three, a bit more ragged! But very beautiful in the heat and oppressive humidity.

Okay....

Well, it may be a type of oyster fungi. And I DID get back there while checking fences and it just looked like a mess of slimly blob stuff.

And then...

it was gone as if it never was.

And this it is with fungi. It is there and then gone. 

I find it so incredibly fascinating.

Fungi, lichen, moss, all those little things in the woods that keep things interesting.

How things change

When one becomes a 'CareGiver' life changes. I used to work 30 hours a week and do odd shifts as a security officer.

When Rich had Throat Cancer I had to drive him 180 miles a day for his radiation treatment. My bosses re-arranged my schedule to work on the weekends. I did that until the day he had an Anaphylatic shock to the chemo treatment. 

Two days after getting out of the hospital I was getting ready for work. It was the weekend and I had an early shift.
He got up to go to the bathroom and had a TIA. 

The hits just kept coming. He had another very serious stroke in 2017 that the doctors were not sure he'd recover from.
The social worker came into the room and said that they were searching for a room at the VA hospital or the VA nursing home as he could not go home and be left alone. I made the decision to give up a job I'd had for 9 going on 10 years to stay and take care of Rich. Any career choices were now eliminated.

The Pulmonary Emboli that should have killed him the next year didn't. And my new career which had been ongoing since his cancer diagnosis was now in full throttle.
I had to care for a man who was diagnosed with dementia [not severe at this point] and a long list of other health issues. The most difficult issue to deal with was the severe depression. 

So what did I do for myself during that time? In October of  2018 pre PE, I joined CrossFit to get out of the house for an hour a day during the week and to get some social and physical time. I was falling into a trap of sitting at home and watching Rich's every move. 

My care responsibilities had increased.

Of course this was about the same time that Rich's mom had been diagnosed with dementia and that huge mess. I'll skip all of that. The end result is that for a while I was the CareGiver for two people and eventually the court appointed a guardian for his mother.

Phew.

When I look back and wonder how can 5 short years have so much change in our lives?

So what have I done for me? I eventually decided I needed an out more than just hiking. I joined a gym and began to enjoy the physical and social aspect of creating friendships that were not dependent on CareGiving. 

My doctor had been concerned on my last physical about my blood pressure. Sure, it was going up and up. Now? I average a very good reading.

Maybe I am taking the right steps to self care. But perhaps I can learn more about Care...Giving...and Self Care. That's why I signed up for the Virtual Class.

One of the more interesting things about this progression of events is that I have not become hateful or bitter or even resentful.

Sure there are days that I feel frustrated and short tempered when dealing with my loved one's apathy and disinterest or his forgetfulness. I am only human.

I still find moments with him that cause me joy and laughter. That is the important part. I don't regret leaving the workforce [well, I sort of do, I loved the job, but not the stress of all the strange hours].

I've branched out to learning new things to keep myself occupied.

Covid-19 has really managed to change the whole playing field. No more gym, no visits, and isolation from others. No long day trips. Getting groceries is an adventure in masking and avoidance of others.

I'm looking now for things to do to keep my mind occupied for the winter. [The reason I decided to do a toy story book and a photo book about 2020].

I may even start sewing stuffed toys again. 

So ... Things Change, yet they stay the Same don't they?

Meanwhile...

I should be doing some riding now. Really I should.

So I am going to take out that trusty bicycle and do some riding today. 

Being a Caregiver is a stressful job. Okay, maybe I don't have the stress of some folks, but 'frustrating' might be a better way of explaining it.

Working with my husband's moods and slightly off kilter thought processes can be interesting.

The dehumidifier in the basement quit working. It was a cheapy and lasted about as long as expected. It would run and run and run but the humidity wouldn't change a bit.

I brought it upstairs to see if it would work in a warmer temperature. Some dehumidifiers don't work in cooler places as well.

It was a no go. It ran and ran and collected no water.

Conversation:

Me: It isn't working and the basement is smelling musty.

Him: It isn't summer.

Me [I kind of let that roll around in my head a bit]: Well, it is humid and very musty in the basement. All the clothes stored there will be moldy and smelly if we don't control the moisture.

Him: You just want to buy a new one.

Me: No, I just want to keep things in the basement from getting nasty.

Him: You aren't giving it enough time.

Me: I've given it a week or so. 

Him: Oh go ahead, you are just going to do what you want to anyway.

I returned from the hardware store with a 'cold' room specific basement dehumidifier. He walked into the kitchen where I set it. 

Him: [snarky nasty voice] Oh, I SEE you got one anyway.

Me: [I ignore him and put the groceries away. He feels if I spend any money at all it is a waste somehow.] Well, I'm going to take the old one apart and if I can make it work, I'll take this one back.

Him: [Look of disgust and stomps away] Whatever.

At this point I want to laugh. We'd argued last year about me getting the truck's brakes fixed. He accused me of wasting money. That is until the truck came back fixed of course. Then it was okay.

I think...I know, that part of my husband's reluctance in any sort of change is that he was very OCD'ish in controlling things, fixing things, being the boss. His brain won't let him let me get things fixed without major resistance.

[I'd spoken to the VA CareGiver support just a few days ago and we talked about this very same thing on the phone.]

Pretty soon he is back.

Him: What are you making me for lunch?

Me: Fried Bologna Sandwhich? 

Soon he stomps off to take his midday nap.

I'm curious and take apart the old dehumidifier. I use my Smart Phone to follow instructions as to diagnose the issue. Charlie walks over and looks at all the screws and plastic parts laying on the floor. I identify the compressor, it is still hot. I find the coils and it reminds me of a radiator. Everything is clean and looks okay. I leave it torn apart for when Rich awakens.

Him: Oh look! [He is bending over and looking at the guts of the old dehumidifier] This is not right...he points to the parts that look like a car radiator [the cooling thingies]...this doesn't look right, no wonder it wasn't working!

Me: Oh really?

Him: Let's unpack the one you bought. He gets busy and pulls the new one out of the box and hands me the instructions to read out loud.

He admires the new unit and tells me how nice it is.

Me: Shall I set it up?

Him: Yes! Sure!

And there you have it. Working with a complicated mind...is

well...

sometimes complicated.

But hey, I love the old fart dearly. 

And so it goes.

Sitting and twiddlin'

The Tow Truck guy said he'd try and get here in the morning. So I am waiting.

Chores are done. Critters fed and moved around. Water checked.
Rich is still sleeping so I can't do much in the way of house work. I'm missing CrossFit to wait so I am fidgety.

Since it is chilly out and things are quiet, I thought I'd open up a tutorial on Paint Essentials. It is a program that allows you to mimic painting, except of course you use software.

About this time of year, most things around here are not so photogenic. I mean brown leaves, dreary skies, and dirt are not exactly exciting.

I grabbed some photos I'd taken in October and opened up the program and began to fiddle around first.

First snow fall on Tigen Road with an auto paint of impressionistic painting layered with detail painting.

Monarch on a Zinnia with a 'gel' layer and a bright painted detail painting.

Then I tried a pencil 'painting'.

Meh. Not too great, but then I decided to go follow a tutorial.

Why not? I'm never too old to learn something. And who knows, I might like it.

So I went to here: Getting Started with Auto Painting
and followed along as the lady did a painting....

This shot below is similar to the original that I 'painted' in layers.

It is pretty artsy fartsy. Enough to keep me engaged to try some more fun things and watch tutorials while I have to be quiet and  wait for the tow truck man.

And while I am still waiting, I did another one.

Because I cannot leave well enough alone I decided to add a layer of writing and then take my finger and smear paint around.

All in all, it was quite fun.

Since the Tow Truck Man hasn't come yet -- I certainly hope he comes before the snowfall tomorrow -- so on to cleaning the coffee pot and working on a DIY project that I'll share for the November doldrums.

Oh and laundry folding. How exciting is that?

Toodles...
Cool project stuff coming up.

Oh and for sure more cleaning in the large shed later this week.