Here we go!

Charlie got his first Pup Cup at Culvers on our way home from the vet where we got his nails trimmed up nicely and his flea and tick meds for the next 3 months.

Yikes. Let's just say $$$$!

However hubby wanted a sandwich from Culvers so I went through the drive up with Charlie, it was too hot to leave him in the car while I ordered.

So the gals at the pay window went nuts when they saw Charlie and asked if he could have a Pup Cup. 

Charlie decided it was awesome and that he'd definitely go to town again with me and get Dad a 'Sammich' at Culvers.

I think it also helped him with the 'trauma' of getting his toenails trimmed. -- He howls when it is done even though he is not being hurt! What a goofy dog!

Below is one of the colorful Lilies I ordered from Edens Garden this spring. I was gobsmacked by how beautiful this was! I have six of them in different colors and I now will make sure to locate them in a place where I can enjoy them more next year.

Another kind of seed - flower I ordered. I don't recall the name, but I love the delicate ferny leaves it has. These are blooming in blue and white. I can imagine planting a huge plot of them! 

Their seed pods are really quite cool too.

Guess who will be collecting these seeds for next year!

I would love it if my things that I had to go get done would fall on days that were more convenient. You know, like a respite day.

But that isn't how life is. 

Just when you think you have things all figured out...  🤯🤯🤯🤯

Things go sideways.

So I brought Rich home his Rueben and discovered that they didn't put the dressing on the sandwich. Hmmm. 

I had to get a cloth to wash up his hands and turned the water on warm...I nearly got scalded. 

WHUT?

Hmmm?

I tried the bathroom faucet, same thing, bathtub, same thing. I assumed then that the water heater [electric] had malfunctioned and the element or whatever that controlled the temperature had failed. 

I went downstairs and shut the power off to the water heater while I was on the phone to the plumbing company we use. 

The gal said she'd have someone out tomorrow between 2 and 4 would that be okay? 
Yes, sure it would.

Then she said if she could get someone out earlier in the morning would that be okay?

Yup.

Oops. Well tomorrow is Tammy's second Respite shift here and it looks like I can't go 'Respiting' [is that even a word?]. However, it would be a good time for the two of us to get to know each other better and I could answer her questions about other things.

AND

I could take time to do some purging in the basement without any interruptions while waiting for the plumber. 

AND I could do some fence fixing down in the woods without worrying about leaving hubby on his own while I was a quarter mile away in the back 40!

AND I could go hunt up fungi and slime mold and ... play Legos and...ohhh the possibilities are endless! 

While I was out doing a bit of weeding, I noticed my neighbor with his monster sized skid steer brush hogging his messy pasture. Ding Ding! 🤯

I had another brain strain. I've been calling around and trying to get someone to come out and cut up my weeds/pasture and a little bell went off in my brain.

Gary and his wife to the west of us have always said, if you need something. Just ask.

So I sent a message to Kim and asked if Gary could mow/hog/whatever ... our front pasture and the meadow. 

I am awaiting the answer. It is okay if he says no, I'll just be back to my square one.

This year, I am doing a lot of asking. I asked Justin for help, he helped. I asked Olive for help, she helped [we trade off to each other all of the time], I asked Steve [fishing buddy] for help. He will bring a crew this fall to cut the trees off the fenceline and help me clean up another area. 

Oh and now I see that my text looks weird on this post. Yeah, I'm not going to fix it. That happened when I copied and pasted the brain exploding . Huh. 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Well, I won't do that again. I'll just stop here before more brain explosions go off in my head and call it quits. I refuse to go back and fix everything tonight with the headache I have echoing in my head.

Tomorrow is another adventure.

Find Your Inner Peace

 I just thought I'd share some colorful calming stuff today.
These are photos from last April when the forest was beginning to awaken.

I listened to the news this morning. Not good.

I am taking the rest of the day off from the news as yesterday was a cluster-f-ck. Pardon my French. It started off by an event on the way to my doctor's appointment.

Olive's husband's dog ran out [they wear electronic collars and always just run to the ditch and stop]. 

Apparently the collar didn't work and he went right into my front right of the car just under the headlight and next to the front wheel. 

Stunned, I went 20 feet and stopped and couldn't see the dog anywhere. So I called and Olive answered breathlessly that she had the dogs in the house and she was sorry. And I was sorry. And my car suffered damage to the front piece that I'd just replaced a year and a half ago from the great liquid cement fiasco.

UFFDAH!

So then it was time to see my doctor. She is a PA that I've seen since I've lived here. She is much younger than I am so I must have started seeing her when she was 'brand new'. 

I started to keep a daily log of the weird stuff since I started to have some strange muscle and joint pain at the end of December. 

Short notes.
Date, what happened, pain level, tylenol taken, or heat, or ice, ... for each day something happened. The good days were noted and I told her those days were active days for me in which I felt normal enough to hike and enjoy life.

I also gave her my 'log' of BP's. She kept that and now next week I have to go in once more just to give in a week's new log and a readings. I'll see a nurse who will check my BP and see if the cuff is as accurate human reader. [A bit of sarcasm there]. 

She did note that if she gave me BP meds she was afraid I'd bottom out a lot. 

I had her note the stars next to the higher readings with short hand notes that explained that things that disturbed the balance of things which make my BP peak. 

You know the balance of my inner peace and contentment....which I'm sure I am in control of each day...you know that inner peace thing....

"Oh your blood pressure is elevated today," said Anne, she is so sweet. She gives me the eye.

"I hit my friend's dog on the way here." I reply. "Dog's okay. I'm not. I feel like my inner peace took a crap."

Anne smiles and we move on to what she feels are pertinent. This is an ER after visit after all.

Protocol says that the chest pains were not a heart attack and probably not angina. To rule other things out I'll have a Stress Test.

"You are at that AGE now where we have to think about these things," Anne says in her nice but firm voice.

I grasp me chest and go all wide eyed. "What? I'm at THAT age. OMG, I thought I'd be dead by THAT age." I blink and smile sweetly.

See, Anne gets me. She chuckles and says, "You are that AGE." She didn't throw me out of the little room we were in.

I am poked, prodded, listened to and examined and then I go see the vampire so she can take vials of blood. [Do lab workers drink that stuff??? Kidding]

We discuss that it could have been anxiety. But why the weird pain? She looks at the notes and the logs and then at the side effects of Prolia and says it didn't happen in the first weeks of Prolia?

I'll address that at another time. I have a theory.

Good news though. 

Anne knows that I am stuck at home more in the winter. She asks if I have 'support' and I tell her about my Legends Class and my Wolf Pack ... well coffee/workout buddies but that sounds so lame.

Anne concludes that we'll do the follow ups, the Stress Test, and that I need to go to class with my friends even if I can't do much.

She then forbids me to go hiking until after the Stress Test. 

Do you think I can follow her rules for the next 3 days?

Be like Charlie find your

Inner Peace....

Ps~ The dog is fine, he is sore but he will be okay. Nathan came out and saw the damage and told me to get it fixed and they will pay for it. 
No hard feelings between us and a quick hug while standing in the road this morning.

Can't get a break!

 Well, I really did when taking my Ru into the dealer for struts and a ball joint. The price was quoted at nearly $2,800. But buying a new car wasn't something I was considering, since basically nothing was wrong with the one I have.

After all, we don't know what is going to happen with the economy or with things like social security or Medicare. Cheaper to fix the well running car than gamble on the immediate future.

Charlie once more took over the dealership. All the Salesforce and staff stopped to say hello.

I got to meet many customers who had to pet him and tell me about their pets. I saw tons of photos of their favorite animals.

One salesman asked to take Charlie for a little walk around the show floor. He took Charlie into an office and...as soon as I was out of his sight for about a minute, Charlie began to howl!

Nope. He is friendly and adorable, but apparently a Mama's doggy.

When the service manager came to hand me my bill he explained that the extended warranty we bought 6 years ago had covered everything. 

WOW!

Since my visit to the ER last week, I have been tracking my BP. My doctor always complains that its a bit high. She agrees that its white coat syndrome.

So since I have to see her next week, I am using a BP cuff that records the readings. My BP has actually been dropping since last week. 

Yesterday I felt like I was getting a cold. This morning I felt awful. Woserthanawful.

Anyway. Imagine my surprise at having a morning BP of 88/66. Yeah. Me too.

I'm going to start pointing at the side effects of Prolia. [The Prolia flier says that it compromises your immune system and to Avoid people with colds...errrr, um...jeeze. Can I just go sit in a box for the rest of my life???]

Let's add the random severe attacks of pain in different parts of my body that come and go. A big toe one day that felt broken. Then was fine the next day. Ankles that feel sprained for a day. This morning, I had a hard time walking without a limp.  My left knee and calf hurt too much to walk.

A jaw that hurts too badly to eat. Then nothing the next day. 

Fatigue and frustration. It's a Whack a Mole Game with a guess at where pain will show up next. Amazingly enough, the intense pain will last up to a few hours or a few days and then disappear. Bone pain, muscle pain, headache pain. Things I normally do. not. have. 

Yet I am still dragging my body out to do chores and when I can, hike with Charlie for shorter distances.

If this medication keeps me from being active, what quality of life is there?

Oh and the last I can't get a break???

The magnificent head cold put me to bed for most of the day. I'm glad I had prepped things like homemade soup ahead of time. ...and purchased some easy to make meals for times like this.

But we are getting a snowstorm! So at least that is beautiful to watch, and I hope to drag my butt out in the fresh air to enjoy the falling stuff.

I actually feel better, but really enjoy wearing a mask [wink wink]. If I can get outside and get fresh air, I will feel much better.

Sunday night we are to go back into a very deep freeze of -17 F so I have some prep to do before that happens no matter how I feel.

Well that was fun.

 

Woke up with a nagging pain in the sternum area.

I did chores and hubby started getting after me for his coffee, for this, for that. Nag, Nag, Nag...when I didn't feel like getting nagged.

I didn't really feel that great and knew something was off.

So I grabbed the BP cuff and did some measuring. Wowzah! Off the charts!

After an hour or so of trying to 'calm' down and using all the tools in my basket [breathing, quiet, meditation, and so forth] nothing changed and I still felt quite off.

I grabbed my keys and shot off a text to Olive to ask her if she could drop in on Rich if I get held up going to Urgent care.

She zoomed down and picked me up and took me to the ER. The triage nurse asked what the issue was and I replied that my BP was very high and wouldn't come down. My sternum was painful as was my upper back. 

She said, "You said the magic words and suddenly I was whisked into a room and hooked up with a dozen leads with so they could look at my heart." I glanced over and it looked quite normal. Next came the vampire to draw blood...she was excellent and cheerful. 

The nurse started and IV on the other arm. A job nicely done.

The doctor came in with a dozen questions and said my heart looked normal and proceeded with the 100 questions he had to ask. When he gave me a chance to speak I told him I 'think' this is really just an out of control anxiety attack. My worry was my BP which is normally 102/77 raging at 167/88. With all the poking it went higher.

X rays, and more tests and then he came back and said it all looked good. I pointed to the BP and the fact that I was trembling and asked what that was all about. He shrugged and talked about the labs and I had to repeat in an hour.

He did ask what I normally took when I was 'anxious'. I wanted to be a smart ass and say Jack Daniels [I don't], but was honest. "I go for a hike. I go for a walk, nice long walk in the woods, or go work out at the gym."

He asked 'what can I do for you?' I said "Give me something that makes me feel like I'm not going to blow a head gasket?"

His answer, "I can give you Nitro and that should bring it down and will probably cause you a headache." --- It gave me a headache and the pressure went up.

Then the nurse brought me baby aspirin. Then they all left. I chatted with Olive and told her I was going to go into my Head Zone and practice my relaxation breathing along with some mental calming.

My BP dropped, still a bit high, but it dropped.

Then another person came in for more blood. It SHOT up. Go figure!

Next the Doctor glanced at the unimproved high pressure and told me I was good to go. No immediate life threatening issues were found. Go home and see your PCP.

Seriously. He was doing his job and all the protocol was perfect. He explained that he was looking to make sure I did not have a LIFE Threatening Condition. 

[Maybe not to him!]

One of my gym pals is a NP, she saw me and walked in to chat. She listened to me, offered comfort [as Olive did], she actually gave me some hope that I was NOT crazy. She and I did discuss the fact that the Prolia med has caused me to be ultra tired and unmotivated to be able do what I normally do. Was the high BP part of it? 

Was it a wake up call to something else? Would it hurt to no longer take the med and do what I've done before? More confusion that answeres.

All heavy questions, but questions I needed to talk to a health professional about. 

I walked out of there exhausted with a last BP reading of 171/90.

I ate when I got home, and took a long nap.

After a simple supper, I sat down with hubby and took my BP. 119/82.

When I woke up? 102/77. After chores? 106/76.

I will be the very last to admit it. But let's just call a spade a spade.

Anxiety Attack.

You know there is little out there that is helpful for a person in a full anxiety crisis. 
See a mental health professional. Breathing exercises. Do a group therapy thing.

Seriously. It does not stop those things in the moment. What is there to stop that crippling moments that lead to more crippling moments?

This is my first time with this serious of an issue. Being me, I will investigate and get myself some answers.

However...

And that is that.

The discharge paper included 'stress' and 'anxiety'. Funny how the doctor never seemed to be able to acknowledge those exact words to me.

Adult Activities in play...

We are working on Lego building again. I leave the Lego pieces to a complicated build in piles in pie plates. When I go to do something else, I can hear him sorting pieces as the parts clink against the pie tins.

Sorting pieces according to color and size appeal to his OCD side. He can't help himself. He has to do it and then supervise how I pick the pieces up. How dare I mess up the piles!

I went to do some chores and left some of the Lego minifigs on the table that went to the Alpine Lodge build.

I came back to this.

His comment was: "Looks like there is an axe murderer chasing the sleeping lady. That fool on the skis..."

Don't tell me that Legos don't encourage something! 

We received a Lego set as a gift in the mail. We already had a Santa set but when Rich opened it, his comment was---> "Now we can add the reindeer to the other set and take that one Reindeer from the Elf set and make the Reindeer be the right number!"

He immediately searched through the packages and sorted everything out for me. Then, he instructed me on how to do a MOC [Lego speak for My Own Creation]. He studied everything and then instructed me to .... create this...👇

We are still working on making one deer into Rudolph and figuring out how to attach him in the front.

Rich then had me search the internet high and low for a replacement reindeer. Really? 
Yes, I ordered one from Etsy which will arrive hopefully on Monday. Then the Reindeer will be all set. 

This weekend is a special 4 day doe hunt in our area. So once again I am banned from the woods as the neighbor folks search the woods for deer. 

That's fine. We'll spend more time playing and building. It does bring joy into our lives to do this together.

A certain amount of play is very healthy. It releases endorphins and reduces stress. And who doesn't want that during the Holidays?

Unplugged

My day started out with a pre dawn hike with Charlie to the ridge. I guess it really was just a walk as we weren't in much of a hurry. Charlie sniffed around and I walked across the crop land hoping for a colorful and blazing sunrise.

Well that didn't happen, but listening to the birds and watching the deer run across the unplowed land was just fine.

We went by the little tree and just watched for quite a while.

I was pretty grumpy and felt ornery and tired so I thought a walk would do me good. I wanted to cancel my gym class but decided to do it anyway. I had to get groceries in town, so I may as well suffer through a class.

I left my phone at home and was surprised at how I didn't miss it at all. No little dings letting me know that there was news, or email, or whatever.

CF put me in a good mood as did the sunshine. Between CF class and Mobility, I took off on a jog/run. Last week we had a run/jog WOD which I enjoyed immensely. I hadn't jogged in two years and I found my rhythm as if it had never left.

After lunch Charlie and I went looking for leeks in the woods and we found some above the creek. Yum! Looks like forest food is coming up! I picked some newly emerged nettles for tea and greens for supper.

Before heading back to the house, I sat on a mossy log and listened to the creek. In the past two years, it has been so dry here that this part of the creek was nearly dry and silent. I watched water bugs and listened to the creek music. 

10 second video of creek sounds and a woodpecker marking his/her territory.

Things are still without color mostly in the woods, but with this warm weather the plants will get a jump start.

Late afternoon I found my phone and discovered texts and emails. One was from our grand daughter Ariel. She is coming to visit us on her own, was that okay?

Another was from Olive. She wanted me to meet the new addition to her family. Gertrude or Gerti. She had Monday and Tuesday off, could we get together?

Being unplugged is nice, except when you miss something! I took care of the messages and brought the skid steer out of the shed and parked it next to the house running...

I told hubby that he needed to clean up the gravel pile that Frank had left and fill in the dip in the driveway as his granddaughter was coming to see him for his birthday. 

Wow! He got out! 
I'll be washing his skid steer today and making him strawberry shortcake for his birthday. I need to run to town to get Almond Milk for Ariel with a couple of other foods for her special diet needs.

I hope we get to meet Gerti too! Olive texted that she thought Gerti and Charlie would get along just great. So I am assuming she has a new dog!

Guess I'll plug back in.

At least I got rid of the Grumpies....