One of THOSe dayzz

 

This is how you feel after talking with your loved one and trying to get them to do some hygienic stuff. 

I can recall when I was a little kid. I tried negotiations with my mom regarding washing up and taking baths. Baths were a really UN-favorite thing to do. I once asked mom if we could just skip baths and brushing of the teeth. Maybe I could just do it once a month? I'd be a really good kid for her if she allowed this deal to go through. I mean come on, if I got washed up I'd just get dirty again so what was the point?

Yes, he doesn't feel good. Yes he has low energy, but ....

I leave it at that. Some battles have to be fought over and over before one gets a result.

It's okay, really

 

This was a week of appointments and craziness.

Rich was tested in Pulmonary Therapy with regards to the six minute walk. He actually did pretty well. His gait was very slow and he did have to rest for a full minute after 4 minutes of walking. He was using O2. 
He agreed to coming to PT 3 times a week.

We traveled to Madison to see a Urology specialist who did some testing [I'll spare you the details]. Only to find out that what Rich was experiencing was pretty normal for someone of his age and his medical concerns.

I should have understood that this was a warning of sorts. We headed home and he was furious. He was sure that the doctor would 'fix' the problem instead of telling him that he needed more exercise and more walking. His legs are pumps, if the pumps don't get used the fluid builds up and at night and that causes more problems. [Okay, it is more complicated than that. But let's leave it at that.]

The next day was a phone consult with his Mental Health provider. Those phone visits every two months for the past two years are harbingers of Foul Moods and Anger. Rich generally says very little. The provider asks him how things are going and Rich answers his same answer each time. 

The Same. Nothing Changes. 

The more the MH provider tries to talk with him the worse he gets. 

You aren't making anything better. Nothing Changes. 
I want to be better.

I know that the MH provider does not have a magic wand and he does not have the ability to find a magical pill. 

Finally the provider informed him that he was leaving the VA. This created an outburst of anger that was a bit more intense. 

Generally the provider asks if I am there and we go to speaker phone. But with the foul mood Rich was in it didn't happen.

The provider did try and explain things and I could see that none of it was connecting. Rich argued that he did NOT want to come to Madison to see who he was supposed to see next.

When Rich hung up he was very angry. 

He wants me to see something about Aging and something. Old people something?

We are aging, I told him. The referral would actually make sense. He has reached a point in his illness[s] that his medical conditions will not get better. He knew that but knowing it is different than acknowledging it. 

I asked again who was he getting referred to?

I don't know. Something about Old People. 

I tried to tell him that this made sense as he was considered aged and someone who worked with older veterans might be able to help him.

This explanation hit a brick wall of Fury. 

I did what I can only do. I got up and left the house to work in the garden. No sense in fighting a wall.

Eventually he came out. I'd washed the mower deck on the Clipper and he had to flip the deck back up. I tried to help him, but as usual the deck wasn't cooperating because we don't have a good level spot to park it.

He got angry again and decided to heck with it all and he'd drive the Clipper around until the deck behaved.

When I motioned for him stop he started to yell at me. I explained that dragging the deck was not going to make it suddenly behave. He revved the engine and backed up digging up gravel from the driveway.

That was it. I threw up my hands and walked away. He tried to holler at me to 'get back here.' I waved goodbye and kept walking. 

Somedays there is no sense in arguing or being calm, cool, and collected. All of that was out the window by this time. 

I was close enough to see if he got into medical trouble, but far enough away to be removed from the situation.

However.

This must have been an improvement in daily activity as he had gone outside to put the mower back together. Granted, it took 3 days to get the job done in small bits. 

But....

By supper time everything must have been hunky dory. [Is that even a word?] He was back to being a pleasant person.

I know I need someone to come and give me a break. That is evident. However.

Our county suffers like many other places in the lack of available people.

Do Something

Instead I decided to take a morning drive and a morning walk into the deep woods.

Charlie came with me to supervise. We went down and walked along Readscreek which is known to the locals as Black Bottom not Readscreek.

I shot it in Infrared Chrome. 

The sunrise was not exactly spectacular however the light across the cropland was amazing. The low light accentuated the landscape.

The sunlight highlighted the land's gentle undulations.

I was simply stunned by the beauty of the land. I turned the Subaru off and got out of the car with Charlie. He thought the deer scents were more awesome than the scenery. I just took it all in.

I had this part of the day to myself. 

The landscape was taking my breath away...

Since Monday I'd been having a rough time with 'things'. That is all I will say.

I looked down at Charlie and said, "Two wrongs don't make a right, but three do."

He tipped his head at me and then I said. 

"If nothing is going right, let's go Left."

I dropped him off at home and headed down into the forest valley.  I dropped down through the thick woods and stood near the creek. It was steeped in darkness still. The sun was just beginning to shine down through the canopy through the creek fog.

I noticed some golden oyster mushrooms and decided to walk around the back of the tree to take a close look at them.

What I didn't expect was to see this...

The oyster mushrooms were releasing spores. And it was like watching a slow moving ballet of particles.

I was stunned. 
I couldn't move [other than to take some photos that is. I should have videoed it...].

Wow. Just.

Incredible.

This was what it was like to be

Alive

and then...

all felt right again.

CareGivers Nightmare!

We got a summons for Jury Duty for my husband with a note that said if there were concerns to call the clerk's office.

I'd filled out the form indicating my husband's health/memory/and mobility issues for them over a month or so ago. I talked to the clerk who rolled her eyes and took it from me. Her comment was "We'll look at it."

They didn't. So I called and she indicated that the only way they would accept the fact that a housebound veteran was unable to serve was with a doctor's note faxed to them.

Puuuuhhhhhleeeese. 

Roll my eyes. For real?

I consider this scenario. Bring hubby in with his 02.

I would hand over instructions asking for a nurse to be at his side to monitor his 02 levels and set up his nebulizer 3 times a day. I'd need a nurse or deputy to handle his medications that are taken every two to three hours. [Pain meds are in there so I'd need to know I could trust said nurse or deputy.]

I'd give instructions on getting him to the washroom right away and to have a nurse or deputy make sure he was able to finish. I'd provide them with clean clothes and adult diapers for accidents in case they take too long to get him to the washroom.

There would also need to be a person to help him understand the words people were saying because it doesn't always compute after his stroke.

By the way, do they have a cot for him to lay down on? He can generally stay awake for about 2 to 3 hours before he has to lay down. 

I'd have to bring his concentrator and CPAP and have someone familiar with Respiratory Therapy to set it up. 

If it would be disruptive to the court proceedings, I guess that would be their issue. 

They could call for a ride when he is finished and sit with him until I arrived to pick him up because he is unable to drive or find his way home [11 miles out of town]

Instead, I messaged the case worker on his Palliative Care Team and she informed me she'd ask for a letter and then email it to me to print out and give to the Clerk. They will not fax because of HIPPA, but I can take it to them as his health agent.

I imagine a lot of folks try to get out of Jury Duty. I enjoyed the two times I've done it over the years. And I get it. They have to be tough on asking for jurors and it is our job as citizens to serve. 

Our county is well known for not bending at all. I assume lots of people make up excuses. 

I am even wondering if the letter handed to them by ME would even suffice. 

As caring people, we are almost used to a problem coming out of blue to muck things up.  It isn't much different than being a mother, except we are a mother to another adult.

Roll with the flow they say.

Hopefully, this will deal with the Juror issue.