Funny how the mind works. Thursday morning, quaking, shivering with fear, I knew I wasn't going to get another breath. The world collapsed into me taking me down with it. Rich was walking by the bedroom and he knew. His arms went around me and patiently, quietly, he spoke to me holding me, rocking me gently. A man with his own PTSD demons who I've seen fall apart...was holding me together.
Leap ahead to Saturday. I swung my leg over Badger...Glennie was up on her Arab mare and we left on a 'road trip'. Two people with animals that have never met ... two people who have known each other for 10 yrs and...have not yet ridden together.
We laughed we chatted we found some sort of friendship across our mount's backs...a good friendship. We found we liked each other and had a sense of humour.
I also found out that that ugly, awful, anxiety, and depression doesn't dare come near my mule and I. I am safe there.
I hate the night. I hate when I can't be in that safe place.