seems very weird not to be abiding by a busy schedule of visiting Home Health people and setting up meds for the day.
Sleeping at night without interruptions was easier to get used to.
It is strange to be able to make a 'coffee' date with a friend without checking out my back up schedule.
However, Charlie is enjoying the morning walks again. There is something about being able to greet the day while walking down a quiet gravel road and looking out onto the ridge.
Monday was the day to go to the funeral home and make the rest of the arrangements final with my step daughter.
One of the more difficult things in life I think is...is to write an obituary. Apparently there are rules to follow for the genealogy folks with a long long list of who is who and who was who.
It is well known that I'm not one to follow the rules. I don't in photography, so why should I do it in other things?
I did open his obit with the 36 years with Fred the mule and 30 years with his wife line. So many of the his friends from Missouri and Iowa wrote how they knew Fred and Rich and how awesome they were together. [Insert a huge laugh for that!]
The rest will be as Rich wanted it. Simple and very short.
We will be having a 3 hour mingle and visit with some flowers that Steph picked of yellow roses and wheat, barley, and oat sprigs with a nod to the huge influence of equine in her dad's life. Photos of his life will be on a big screen and there will be some 'finger' food.
Somehow I made it through to this stage and am working on the next stage which is dealing with the VA and finding places for things like new hearing aid batteries, along with medical devices that I can donate to others.
My adjustments will be slow, but I will find my footing again. My grief and sorrow will stay with me forever I hope. I feel him with me every single moment in a good way.
Your life will be different, but full of all those sweet memories. Please do what you are comfortable with for the arrangements...you know what Rich wanted. Thank you for keeping us in the loop and please get some rest. Lori
ReplyDeleteMay the walks with Charlie provide comfort in this time. Rich is all around you in the leaves and trees and sky.
ReplyDeleteTo grieve is to have loved. Learning to live with Rich in a different way will indeed be slow, and healing. Taken in strides {hugs}
ReplyDeleteBless you as you go through these things.
ReplyDeleteHaving lost my first hubby when I was 29, I can assure you that you won't forget the good stuff. God may hold it back for a while until you regain some energy and footing, but the good memories will return. Please make plans as you would like, as this is your time to get them arranged. The others can do it their way when it's their turn. Somebody close to you may say something stupid. Forgive them; they don't know. Somebody you barely know will say the most kind and understanding thing. Bless them.
Thanks for looking to donate the equipment. Most areas have a "Grace" type of store or medical support office and clinic that can use the medical items.
Most any nursing home or senior center would love to have a batch of new hearing aid batteries. I had some extras in all sizes that were kept at the KCVA cuz so many patients came in with dead hearing aid batteries, or that went out when they were inpatients, or simply couldn't afford them.
Sending some virtual "finger food" for the mules too. Yep, eat something yourself; stay watered. Linda in Kansas
Lori, Miss Merry and aurora said it well. Yes, Rich is and will be forever around you.
ReplyDeleteRemember you need rest. It's a busy time with arrangements, but try for a bit of downtime. And I still appreciate the ability to just go out and not make arrangements for coverage and watch the clock because of medication times. Yes, you'll feel the feelings forever, in different ways. And you'll always know you helped him to a peaceful death, everything done with love.
ReplyDeleteGrief changes, ebbs, and flows, but the memories of good times together will make it more bearable. I like the suggestions in others comments about donations of items no longer needed. RHill, TX
ReplyDeleteI am sure that it is good to get out in nature in good autumn light and make your photos at leisure. Many hearing aids now have permanent batteries, but someone will probably take your stash.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a strong, organized, amazing person, Val. My heart is aching for you, but I see your strength will carry you through this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteAfter some well deserved rest you are doing your best one day at a time. The gathering sounds like a good time to share the best memories of Rich and be thankful for his love and friendship.
ReplyDeleteWe all deal with death and grief in our own way, and you are certainly entitled to that. Write the obituary as you would want it, not as others might prefer it. Nature will continue to welcome you without precondition and that surety will be important in the days and years ahead.
ReplyDeleteAurora said it well. Keep those precious memories close and it will help you adjust to your "new" life.
ReplyDeleteYou sound like you have things in perspective. I am in awe. You have no deadline, you can do things your own way.
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