We are still going through the process of end of life for my husband.
However, I have so many quiet moments to do nothing in this stage.
I'm not the sort of person who can simply sit and read all day. If it is sunny or nice out. I sit on the porch next to the window where Rich's bed is and well ~~ I let my mind wander and get creative to give my brain a rest from the stress.
Farmer Bob starts rounding up pumpkins for the fall harvest:
I was able to take my first walk in a week on Tuesday when Tammy came for Respite time. She has a special insight to being a Caregiver as she has worked in this field for 30 years. 8 months ago, she provided end of life care for her husband.
She insisted that I take Charlie and GET out of the house. She insisted that I take my 'camera stuff' and go out away from the house.
It felt a bit weird to walk out the door. Tammy promised to call or even honk her car's horn if there was a sudden change in anything.
I stopped by the Highbush Cranberry Bush to see how the berries were proceeding.
I was mesmerized by studying the light and the berries themselves. I wanted to create/shoot something that would be stunning and memorable to me.
With a bit of camera trickery, using simple changes in position and exposures I managed to get two very different photos of this bunch of Highbush Cranberries. I used the centerfield split diopter filter for the above shot and a slight overexposure.
I took the filter off and changed my position and exposure to get this next shot of the same clump. I like this version best, it speaks of light/darkness/and glowing sunlight.
Accidently I did a shot while moving the camera.
Then I decided to try an ICM shot. ICM stands for intentional camera movement. That means instead of being still while taking the shot, you move the camera. I had the funky filter on when I did it and loved the results.
The first one was very abstract, something I liked. But it didn't really show what I wanted.
Once more with adjusted settings. Now I can detect the trees and the colors.
Then I took a still photo and combined it with the ICM photo and this resulted.
For whatever reason, I enjoyed doing that. I did this freehand with no tripod as I rarely carry them.
I found some leaves turning red on a damaged wild plum tree from where the loggers had been knocking it about with their skidder or truck while loading logs. I used that funky centerfield split diopter lens once more. It produces a glow of color around the main subject which I'm enjoying at the moment.
I'm a curious photographer and will try many different things to produce an image. The plums from this tree were delicious, I gathered some each time I walked up the road last month and popped them out of their bitter skins into my mouth. The plums were the size of half dollar coins.
After meeting with the Social Worker, Tammy sent me out again. I walked to a place where I'd take the neighbor kids to play. I found these rubbery somewhat posable robots I'd given them years ago wrapped in some low branches of trees. It was evident that squirrels or other critters had chewed on them.
I decided to bring them home to see if I could get creative with them.
As she left she handed me the toys we'd rinsed off. "I bet you can do something fun with them," she said.
Back out on the porch I went. I used a bit of toothpick magic to make them stand.
My Dancing Robots...
I wanted to be just like them and dance carelessly
in the succulent garden.
They showed me that there is happiness to be found
and that I could smile at them.
They danced to their inner music with
so much joy.
And off they went hopping and twisting
dancing the day away.
Creating these little scenes while checking on hubby reminded me that there is still some joy in the world. [I haven't watched the news this week at all]
I'll keep these two around for moments of dancing, joy, and bliss.
These days we need something to smile about.
The Porch Guard:
And yes, he is feeling the stress and anxiety too. He is restless and cries often. He waits by the back door most mornings for Steve to show up now.Or he lays on the couch so he can watch Rich.
Over the past 10 days there have been so many comings and goings. He also enjoys quiet time on the porch where he can just watch his domain from 'his' bench.
Photography and anything I can think up for a bit of creativity is what keeps me somewhat sane right now. The porch is an amazing sanctuary.
