Wednesday, February 07, 2018

Colonoscopies and Refrigerators...how fun.



No one likes to talk about that procedure. It is simply, well ... not dinner conversation at all. Whoever invented the prep was an evil sadistic person. However, it must be done to get a good clean out.
I had one 10 years ago because of some issues I'd had and it was time for the next one ... 10 years later.
My first one went quite well and except for the prep there was no pain or anxiety.

However this one? The prep went well. 
After all, who doesn't love Gatorade mixed with Miralax? It wasn't as bad as GoLYTELY. In the 'end' I was passing Gatorade lemon/lime colored stuff which was clear of debris. [Isn't that a nice term?]
I saw the doctor after the nurse tried to get in an IV. I winced as she dug around and then had to pick another spot.
I thought, "No, this will all be just fine. Really. The first time was so easy, this should be the same."
I heard someone down the hall hollering "Ouch ouch ouch OWWWWWW!" I didn't pay it much thought until much later.
Into the room we went. Mild sedative and the doctor started. Soon I was whispering out "Owww!" "Hey that hurts!"
The RN at my head said, "It's okay."
I replied, "IT is NOT okay! Ouch!"
I watched the scope fly through my innards and when the doctor hit a curve it felt like an internal baseball bat hit me. "JEEESUSSS, what the Fu--?"
Finally the doctor said quietly, "Almost at the end."
It felt like I was rammed.
Then I watched the scope exiting out.
I gritted my teeth. If I hadn't been sedated, I would have ripped out the painful IV and started swinging. 

My end result by the doctor was, "It is great, everything looks good!"
I asked her point blank in the recovery room. "Then why did it hurt like hell?"
Her answer, "You have a lot of twists and turns in your colon."
"Well that was more painful than it should have been."

She patted my leg and left the room. I threw nasty think darts at her back even though I was starving and slightly floaty. I swore she'd never ever touch me again. In 10 yrs if I was due up again, I'd drill the doctor about their procedure.

The cartoon? Yeah, I agree with that one this time. 
Crapping Gatorade poo and getting beat up inside was not a good day for me.

Tuesday was: go to Mom in Law's to help her out with cleaning her fridge. I did the grocery shopping and came home. I still felt ... pardon the pun. Crappy. My lower intestines hurt still, perhaps from the wild rush of the scope through my bum or perhaps I was bruised inside. It hurt. Or it was the gas she blew me up with lingering and causing discomfort.
I called Mom in Law and told her I needed one more day of rest before tackling the HazMat Tainted and Dreaded Fridge Job.







I will go today to the apartment with dire trepidation.

I've grown strange science experiments before in my own fridge, but nothing quite compares to this....

One must face adversities in life.
Be strong.
Be very strong.




1 comment:

  1. I was not able to stay awake for the procedure....felt nothing. Your description was divine.

    ReplyDelete

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