Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Dealing with Frustration
It isn't going to go away by not talking about it. Isn't that silly? I but can't convince my other half that he has to take the bull by the horns and face it.
I don't think he wants to.
I think he is denying it.
When asked by a friend or neighbor what he just went through and why he was hospitalized, he is telling them:
I had the flu.
I have pneumonia.
The truth is, a common cold a common cold virus; created an 'exacerbation of COPD'. Although he has not had any 'exacerbations' before this incident.
Last night I got home from work and found him in bed complaining of fatigue that just wouldn't go away. He said he got hot, sweaty, and light headed and... had to lay down. [signs of too much carbon dioxide in the blood and a shortage of oxygen...he denied my conclusion of course]
I commented that perhaps we ought to be calling his provider at the VA concerning this...it had been happening often.
[His response: NO! I'll get better! Just give it time!]
Some options we needed to look at, perhaps Oxygen to help him feel more alive and to help him?
[It is fairly well known that a person with COPD in the later stages often doesn't get enough oxygen in their blood while resting. This causes the patient to feel 'tired' all of the time.
Being 'tired' all of the time leads to ~~~ more laying down and sleeping...less exercise, less O2 in the bloodstream~~~
and the wicked cycle continues.]
My suggestion of O2 angered him.
His response was to say he was never going on it...he didn't want to depend on IT. As if Oxygen was a dirty word.
I tried to reason with him that O2 may not be needed 24 hours a day. Just when he needed it ... when he was feeling weak and tired.
It is almost as if he is hoping by that ignoring his condition, it will go away.
COPD does not go away. There are things that can be done to make his life easier ... along with exercises to increase his lung capacity.
I'm frustrated -- yes it is has only been 11 days since he was in the hospital, and I know he won't recover from this episode in a wink and a flash.
However he must start to confront the fact that he has a disease [ugly terrible word] ... and that we need to deal with it, accept it and work with it.
A huge factor in his reluctance to accept COPD and some of the treatments that go with it I suppose stem from the fact that his father had it and in the end hated living with it. Yes, this is true and it is a wicked disease.
But I feel if I can convince him to listen to the doctors and work hard at controlling his symptoms, we'll still have a relatively good life together.
In May he is going to have a PFT test. Pulimonary Function Test. This will determine the stage of COPD that he is at and how well his lungs are working at this time.
So yes, I am frustrated and a bit angry for having to butt my head up against the proverbial brick wall.
I do wonder though, how I would feel in his shoes?
COPD exacerbation defined: