Tuesday, July 31, 2007
The first picture is of the big bad dozer. I call it that, but it isn't the biggest one I've seen. I've seen one as big as our house come through the woods when Mike was still living and liked to take the 'D-9' out and clear trails with it. Trees rumbled and fell before the big D9 and Mike. But that is another story...
There is a marked difference in the first day. The road tubes were brought in today and should be put in place Thursday or perhaps Friday depending on what our expert's schedule is. He also works for the county and has a beef farm. We've had some of our ridge neighbors drive over to admire Jeff's handy work. That is how this fella gets his jobs, word of mouth. Pretty impressive isn't it?
I'm excited at the work, of course all I can do is observe. I'll get some pictures of the road tubes laying next to the driveway so you all can get an idea of what they look like before they go in.
Monday I saw the ortho surgeon who has added one more diagnosis to my right arm problems. In fact it is glaringly painful and I start PT for it today...It was painful before but the shoulder pain was confusing issues. The cortisone shot allowed me to sleep yet another whole night!
It is called Lateral Epicondylitis, you can read about it or not. Every time I lift my wrist to *mouse*, it feels as though someone is striking the funny bone...One month of PT for that and then he is hinting at elbow surgery.
This bums me out because it will effect my school and job situation. But Lateral Epicondylitis is also caused by poor ergonomics in the computer workplace...soooo
Well I am not going to let this ruin my perfectly good mood today. Happy day to all fellow bloggers!
He says keyboarding and mousing are not friends to my right shoulder.
My boss had a holy rolling hissy fit when hubby gave him the paperwork. He even went as far as to tell hubby that I did not keyboard or type...I just put stuff in the computer. Hubby reached over the desk and showed boss the keyboard and asked as he shoved he papers into the monitor...so she just shoves papers into this?
He then wanted me to come in and show his wife how to 'do it'. He was mad and was belligerent in front of hubby and two patients! Hmmm, I hear that voice of mine about 6 months ago saying to boss:
Boss you really ought to have a back up to me, someone should learn what I do in case something happens to me.
In reality, the database is not difficult.
and so forth. Each portion is filled in and you hit tab to get to the next piece of info to put in.
Most patients are already entered and need only to check the DX and the billing...then push the key that says 'print'.
Of course there is more to it than that. But I rest my case.
Maybe I'll go fishing.
The cortisone shot was not fun. I was in major pain all day yesterday.
But last night, I slept from 9PM to 5AM! No pain meds at all last night after 8PM.
Today makes me feel human again for the first time in sooooo long!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
The driveway, a steep sometimes menacing hill that washes out with the heavy rains, that requires 4 wheel drive in the winter, and sometimes in the summer...it is getting a face lift this year. We can't change the steep angle but we are working with a fella who has great road building skills [and who is a friend and neighbor] to improve the water runoff problem and this is something I'm going to document from begining to end!
We've dug down to the utilities, that is what you see flagged off on each side of the road. Road tubes will go in these at a 45 degree angle ... we are getting water ways built in to help with the run off.
Morris has been a great supervisor through all of the begining stages. Somehow I feel the supervisor will not be around the heavy machinery!
Friday, July 27, 2007
Ok, I am of the belief that everything must happen for a reason and obviously the *prospective* employer didn't think I was a good fit.
Still, to feel like I did a good interview and then get that 'Dear Valerie' letter is quite disheartening to say the least.
Next job app..do I put down that I am in college? Do I mention my attributes and knowledge of software?
do I dumb it down.
All I want is a job, it can be an entry level job...in fact that is the best way to begin with a company, I thought.
Why do they turn you down when you are willing to work?
Get on with it then.
Perhaps it is a good thing anyway. I am still fighting this shoulder surgery and am having a real tough time with it. It will be two weeks today...the 26th and I would have thought to have seen a huge improvement. Yet I still end up in incredible pain at least most of the day.
After all that is why I am posting at 3AM ... no comfort unless I get up and move around.
Hmmm, toughen up and suck it up.
PT in 5 hrs. Sigh. I hope we can figure out what is causing this continued amount of ICK.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
It isn't fair, I was sooo tired and so pained from PT yesterday that I had a miserable night. If there was a position for comfort, it evaded me. So I got up and did my homework for school at 3AM. Hey ... I did go to bed at 9PM, so that was a good 6 hrs of sleep. Hmm, okay so it was NOT a bad night. Nights just seem so very long when you cannot rest.
I watched a foggy sunrise. I wanted to go and walk to the top of the ridge and watch it, but figured that hubby would wake up and find me gone.
We have since discussed this and it is okay with him for me to go.
The Cav has new tires, that was in my earlier blog. One more thing to pick up tomorrow...a vaccum thingy that keeps the engine from seeming to stutter as it goes down the road. We had the engine analyzed yesterday while I was being tortured at PT.
[Which by the way really sucked as they dug into a very sensitive rotator cuff muscle...it feels as though I am bruised all the way through now. --- I had nerve pain and spasms of the muscles most of yesterday. Very frustrating ---but I did throw the frisbee for Morris the incredible--so I am getting better right????? Right?]
I'm teacher's pet in my Careers Class. She emailed me to thank me for helping other students and being a big encouragement to them. I guess that answers the question they asked at the interview...
Are you a Team Player?
Of course I am, when it is to my advantage.
Well the heat index is at 100 degrees today...I only know that it is very very hot.
So I am heading out to get hubby's butt inside.
Oh .... watch for postings on the making of a new driveway! The dozer should arrive tomorrow!
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
My interview could I have done better? You bet I could, there is always room for improvement!
I read about the company I was applying for, I understood the job I was applying for as it was post
I felt really good when the previous interviewee stepp
When we reach
Both interviewers glanc
I can get tongue ti
Okay that is how my day went!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Today was the 'interview' day. More about that later. This is the car that has been fondly and 'unfondly' called the Cav by my son. He bought it in college and has sold it to me [thank you son for extending me credit on this!]
We have replaced the rocker gasket...that's the blue rubber thingy. Power washed the engine ... it doesn't leak oil...we have done
...and some things I've forgotten.
Today it got its NEW tires. 4 new tires all the way around. I went to the interview in a loaner while they worked on it.
After the interview I was waiting for them to finish up in the air conditioned office when a man who wore a Tire Shop uniform with the name Eddie sewn on it walked in mumbling something and wandered around. The receptionist said, 'Hey Eddie need a drink of water?' Eddie mumbled something back and wandered back out into the shop.
I could see that Eddie was not just a common man. Tall lanky, with a lurching walk, stuttered speech, malformed face, a grin with some bad teeth showing below his pure blue sparkling eyes.
The receptionist said...'That's Eddie, when the boss bought the shop 25 years ago Eddie came with it. He is our *Eddie* if you know what I mean.'
Eddie returned later and spoke haltingly with another shop worker. He said
'Tires? We have those!' He proceeded to walk downstairs and return with the requested brand, make, and model. The receptionist smiled kindly and said...'No matter what, you ask Eddie --- what we have in stock... he KNOWS. I don't have to consult the computer, he is never wrong.'
I smiled inside, I'd just interviewed to work for a corporation that contracts its employees out to the county Human Health Services for people just like Eddie. And I thought out loud to the receptionist what advantages there were to a small town...Eddie would never have been tolerated in a large chain store. Yet there he was lurching and mumbling, his eyes sparkling, and always a smile and an answer as to ...
*Hey Eddie, where's the tires?*
PS...I have my brand new tires! Tomorrow we get the engine analyzed! The Cav is very much the road 'warrior' again.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Then she stretched my arm beyond the 'Outer Limits' and quietly said...'hold it, while I measure'. Oh yeah. As painful as it all was?------
I walked out of there today with NO charlie horses in my muscles, these have been plaguing me since the surgery. My muscles needed a release and she was the one to do it and quite effectively.
I feel ready to take on the world...ah sorta. Still have that range of motion to contend with, but yes, an incredibly positive day.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
I awoke at two AM and haven't been able to get back to sleep. So I used my time wisely [I think] to work ahead in my schooling.
I had to get out of the house and so when good ol' hubby headed off to the auction--yep I thought it was yesterday also--I asked if I could take the car or truck and drive down to the DNR land and take some wildflower photos.
live...are those gravel roads bumpy! Talk about jolting my shoulder area, but it was worth it to get out for a bit with my old film camera. The lightening pretty much sucked because the sun was too high in the sky. I need to make the same trip either early early morning or just before the sun sets.
It was nice to get out and Morris enjoyed the ride too.
If you have your keys in hand...he is there!
Friday, July 20, 2007
While I admit, it is a good way to get a college credit and comes perfectly timed with a surgery...read here--I am distracted by some discomfort and some pain meds...
I shake my head at our teacher. She insists that it is THE ALL KNOWING... all wonderful cover letter and resume that gets you in the door.
But there is no secret formula, no guru, that is going to make or break that interview. It boils down to me and them.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
*Stretch to the sky.* My little PT internist tells me as I use a pully to take my defunct right arm up above my head. She is a young girl...she probably doesn't think she is a young girl...but hey, I am getting to be that age now so everyone looks young?
She is doing her internship for Physical Therapy.
Last night was the night from Hades. There was not a twist a turn or any way...shape or form could I get comfortable in bed. Of course I said this to the PT dudettes today and was told this was very common with shoulder surgery. [I'm going DUH, no kidding]
Try using the recliner! Yep, I did that the other night so why didn't I do it last night. Let's just roll our collective eyes and say *dummie*.
Today is so much better by contrast. After a grueling work out...[cough] and stretches, I ache, I hurt, but I also feel so much better.
I even managed to reach for the sky and put both hands on Badger's back.
I can do THAT!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Back from the land of 'surgery'. I have an owie and I am being a total wimp -- sort of. Typing stinks and hurts too. My shoulder has been pronounced FIXED! Now for PT, physical therapy. I don't consider it torture but a means to get range of motion and strength back. Although for 2 weeks I am off from work and have to behave at home.
My guard husband is going to make sure of that. Grrr.
My first big adventure was yesterday. I took Morris and the camera and took a walk. Using a rightie camera with a lefty hand is not exactly easy, but I found I could do it.
As for surgery. Dr L was a hoot. Normally this nationally top rated surgeon [he is supposed to be in the top 4 of the nation...how do they tell?]...is strictly all business and straightforward. He actually joked with us before surgery...and pulled a prank on me. Yes, I complain about the length of time I have to wait to see him, but his methods and his precision is well worth it.
He is said he was going to research my case and find an answer as to why I've had 2 frozen shoulders and why I have all the wrist and hand pain.
I believe him.
My progress to me is slow. I feel like I should be running around and riding. When in truth, typing hurts, riding in the car...REALLY hurts, and well let's face it, it has only been 4 days!
My nurses were friends and neighbors. How cool can that be? The anesthesiologist was the best in the world.
I have a couple of stories to relate, but those will have to wait until I can type with a little less pain.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
I must say that the fellow how is doing my surgery tomorrow is an extremely personable and handsome man. I know, drool. We went to high school in the same geographical area, our high schools were rivals.
He is also an extremely competent surgeon. He has people drive across the country to see him.
That aside, today while we had the 'pre-surgery' talk, I promised that this year I would behave my self and not be such a wise-arse.
To which he quipped, 'Oh no, first don't make promises you can't keep and second, I'd think you were very ill!'
He then proceeded to 'listen' to me when I asked him 'why' I have had TWO frozen shoulders within 14 months. Why do my wrists and hands hurt when there is nothing wrong with them?
He blinked looked down and said, 'Is there a history of diabetes in your family...?'
[yes, mom, grandpa, uncle...]
Then he stood up and said, 'I'm going to draw blood today to look for rhuematic indicators and tomorrow you will have blood drawn to look at your glucose levels.'
This was something I had been pushing for. But no one had listened!
He kidded around with me and asked if I'd been riding that magnificent mule. I grinned from ear to ear. He deals with so many patients, yet was able to remember that.
Of course I'm also the lady who gave him grief last year after surgery. Long story to that.
The long and the short? I feel great. Now on to my homework and maybe later I can play with my graphic arts.
I already had a short walk in my Pj's...[note to eldest son...yes your mother is not quite right, but you knew that!]
My mood is really fantastic. I can't believe I let anger get me so worked up yesterday. Things are so positive now, I just feel the vibrations...[also helps when you can play CD's very loud in the Cavalier on the way to work!--Tractors...'Baby Likes to Rock It'...nothing like a little hill billy rock n roll to get you smiling]
Today the Cav, is out of commission, Rich went to replace the wires for the spark plugs and one of the plugs did not want to re-thread. So there is the Cav, up on ramps across the driveway...looking forlorn as it wants me to drive it.
I've got two professors I'm discussing the ethics issue with from my college, I expect to have a resolution by noon today. Nice to have the resources when you need it. Cool eh?
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
A few years ago while in therapy...yes sigh. Therapy. Therapy to deal with some awful things that had happened when I was a young woman and a young mother. ... I learned a technique for controlling those awful bad feelings that creep up on you.
So today I took a travel back into my mental 'castle'. See the top floor is wonderful, the memories of childbirth, holding my babies, all sweet and wonderful things are in this place.
The Dungeon is a cave-like structure. The little caves open into a big room. Each cave has bars across the entrance and you cannot see into them. I OWN the key because that is where I put the 'bad' men and keep them safely there. I feel powerful over them, and what happened in the past. They are forever in the Dungeon of my beautiful 'memory' Castle.
Today though my hopefully soon to be ex-boss asked me to bill all the unfiled claims he has sitting on his desk. Mind you these files have been sitting for months while he plays puzzles and nods off to sleep. Then he whines when the $ doesn't come in. Let me say I have been searching for a year for another job.
Now he wants me to commit FRAUD, break federal law, be unethical...commit insurance fraud...
'I'll just dab a diagnosis on these files and do them later...you bill all of them.'
I can't do that! I don't know what the procedure was, the plan of action was...I am not a doctor! I was so mad. I said, 'No, absolutely not!'
He said, 'You will.'
Well I emailed my instructor from my ethics class and she said no, I cannot legally code procedures without documentation. My professor from A&P who used to be a chiropractor said the same thing.
Of course as the day went on and the stack of quickly Dx'd files piled in front of me, I go angrier and angrier. Boiling...so that when I had my physical, my blood pressure read 142/86...normally 118/70.
When I got home I needed to relax....I hurt so bad -- and I know it was from the stress!
So I began to think about my castle and where this whole thing could go so I could relax and do my schoolwork and get out of pain.
I 'made' a hole, a black ugly hole that I can throw bad things into ... it is a mind hole, but I needed to envision it. And you know what? It worked! I created it and put ugly nasty stress into it. It is there at the bottom swirling around. I can reach in and deal with it as I want or need to.
It is located below the Dungeon by the way.
My Tuesday was swept with drama. It started out with me running late in the morning, see previous blog entry.
I had intended on taking my new polished resumes to 'Center' to drop them off personally. Instead of mailing them in, I wanted to see the places I was hoping for a new job.
Of course in order to make things feel just right, I felt that I had do, needed to, was compelled to--by some strong sense...that if I took Badger for a ride in the dusky morning light somehow things would be better.
Badger must have sensed my thoughts as he was the only mule to show up at the water tank and he stood and watched me quietly while I did chores for the other animals.
Morris, came along happy to be on an outing also. He ran as he does sniffing and 'watering' things along the way to 'mark' out territory in some ritual he has. He was happy, Mr. Mule was happy, I was content.
At one point in our ride Badger went stiff and stared intently at a downed tree that was being overgrown with wild grape vine. I sat and waited. Morris sat next to us.
After a moment a doe and her fawn slid quietly off into the denser woods. The rest of our ride was fairly uneventful, that is until I noticed Morris was limping badly on his right back leg, he wasn't even using it, but not complaining either. We crossed a particularly muddy and boggy part of the creek, when I looked back it seemed as though Morris couldn't make it.
Oh he was in NO danger, but I dropped off Badger and went to his aid. Morris ran up to Badger and put his paws on Badger's front leg...a sign that he was exhausted and wanted a ride.
Anyone who understands the aspects of mounting an equine that is taller than you with a very bad shoulder can appreciate the next few moves.
I put the muddy sloppy wet JRT on my saddle...said JRT shivered and shook as he is afraid of heights.
Since the right arm doesn't work well mounting is very difficult unless I have a bucket for assistance. There wasn't one.
I went to the 'off' side and put my foot in the stirrup. The shivering and muddy dog was in the seat. I pushed him to the rear of the saddle. He stood on Badger's butt, his JRT paws digging into said butt. Badger seemed unconcerned at this new turn of events and calmly reached for some delicious tall grass.
I got half way up and realized now I couldn't swing my leg over the JRT on the butt of the mule. So I pushed, coaxed...the JRT to the front of the saddle, which was now leaning. Mr. Mule was still unimpressed. I scrambled on the best I could...not pretty--straightened the saddle, and rode home with a happy panting Morris, who was warm and wet in my lap.
The phone calls started after that. Could I change my surgery date? Sure, when? Friday the 13th. Oh, okay.
I reviewed my new list of doctor visits, jumped in the shower and drove to Center. I dropped off the apps and when I got to my MIL's house she was back from surgery and looking just fine. She commented that 'boy do you look nice!'
I remarked that one did not go drop off applications in grungy clothes. Only one chance to make a first impression...or something like that.
When I got home, I had a message to set up an interview!
I had an email message from a past employer saying that this company had called her [I'd phoned her to ask if she would be a professional reference] and that she gave me a 'glowing review'.
My world was changing in a fast paced manner, wasn't it?
I collapsed last night and slept soundly.
What a day.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Who gets up on the wrong side of the bed when the bed sits against the wall and there isn't any other way to get out? HMMM?
I set the alarm for 3AM and of course I'd really set it for 3PM. Slap me in the forehead! I did however get hubby up in time to rush him to Readstown to meet his ma, so he could go with her to LaCrosse to have her little foot surgery. I came back through fog and as I topped the ridge, I parked the car and stood in my PJ's and watched this sunrise.
All things happen for a reason.
I'm sure I'll get all sorts of grief later, but that is okay. I got to see something so lovely it grasped my heart and soul.
Now out to do some chores and grab my favorite mule and dog...and off to the woods for a morning ride before I head to 'Center' to drop off resumes and job apps.
This is a good day.
Monday, July 09, 2007
I began this day thinking it wasn't going to be pleasant. The office was an awful mess when I came in. I sometimes feel like I am picking up after a 3 yr old instead of a well educated doctor.
Last night while looking up how to write a resume, I decided my mind needed a break and I began to go through my June photos. I stopped to look at one of my favorites. Not because the place is so beautiful, but the place is one that I often sit on a rock in the creek and do my 'non-thinking'. It is the place where I can go away from everything.
I call it my 'Secret Place'. Everyone should have one. I've always had one. I probably have more photos of this particular spot than any other of my neighbors woods. No matter where I wander I usually end up back here.
So I played in photoshop and made the above mandala, which now thanks to a dear friend has a little more meaning to it.
From the following site: What is a Mandala?
An audience or "viewer" is necessary to create a mandala. Where there is no you, there is no mandala. (from: You Are the Eyes of the World, by Longchenpa, translated by Lipman and Peterson).
I can think positive today and that makes me feel quite good. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings to me.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Did you know that most resumes are now scanned by computers to find key words? Yes, this is so.
So I spent the hottest portion of today researching for keywords and revamping my resume. The old one was nice, but surely only showed a history of my jobs, nothing short concise and worthy of catching the interest of a computer when it may or may NOT be scanned.
But it sure was an eye opener for sure.
Today it is about networking, people you know, 'keywords', and specific skills. At least that is if you want to do better than be a Walmart shopping cart 'go getter'.
This morning I was able to saddle up Badger and go for a delightful tour in the BIG BIG forest [as my grand daughter refers to it]. It was refreshing and we were back before 9AM and before the heat began to intensify.
Now I might just mosey on out and see if I can find some black cap wild berries.
I don't need a computer scanner to be able to do that...just plain old tenacity and woods-person skills.
Friday, July 06, 2007
The sameness of my life is changing and I feel it coming on.
Nope, not on any drugs ... well yes a Tramadol for the shoulder pain. But I felt this thing all day.
I look forward to changes and I feel this one is a positive one.
Now aren't I sounding mysterious? Well I just couldn't get it out of my mind this evening so I had to sit down and jot it 'out'.
This way I can look back and see if I was correct.
I hurried through making a nice steak on the grill for hubby and hurried through helping him with chores so Morris, the-ever-brave, and I could grab the camera and take a walk on to the ridge to watch the sun go down.
Mr. Big Brave walked with alongside the road when suddenly something in the tall grass grabbed his attention. He stood stiff legged and peered into the grass. I assume he was awaiting for whatever caught his interest to come out. Because he certainly WAS not going in! Finally he decided to do what male dogs do best, and gave the general area his 'best shot'. He brings me so much enjoyment.
We walked quite a ways but the sun was too far in the northern sky to give us a good horizon shot on our road. I would have had to have walked 2 miles -- one out and one back, in order to see a clear shot of the sun.
I decided it was just enough to enjoy the bird songs and the colors of the thunderheads building to the east of us.
And on the side of a dusty road, in the twilight, found peace with a little Jack Russell who was busy making sure every creature knew he'd come this way.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Last night we were dumped on by an magnificent thunder and lightening storm. Several times the house was lit up while lightening struck close by.
So this morning, we have to make a quick check of the fences and take a head count of our equine.
I studied how to make a 'mandala' yesterday and took info from a few different sites and did my own. It was fun and I have more control of how these turn out than the fractals. But it still involves triangles and math...and a knowledge of computer software.
Well looks like hot and humid for the 4th. The grandkids are at Mother in Laws as a surprise for the day. Looks like I'll be headed out shortly to play with the grands...
Monday, July 02, 2007
Well here I go again learning something different. This is actually a photo of Bleeding Hearts that I looked up a tutorial and learned to make something different with a photo. It was intriguing so I'll do some more playing. I like this more because I can actually use a photo and have more control as to how it turns out.
I spoke with my school counselor and I am not taking a full load for the next 8 weeks due to having surgery and limited use of my right arm and hand. I cannot afford to get behind in a coding class, and it takes extreme concentration which I know from experience...last yr's, that I won't have.
Well rest calls out to me...
Up before dawn to see the sun rise. I've been able to do that now for the past few days. I've had a little motivation strike me...[probably from the urging of some lady who 'does it like a woman']. I've decided that having a pity party was NOT me.
Before 8, I was saddling Badger and Morris, me and the mule headed off to the woods to see what we could see.
A magnificent buck stopped in the early dappled sunlight to turn his velveted rack so we could admire it....before he flipped his tail and disappeared into the darker reaches of the forest.
We saw an indigo bunting, a bluebird, and of course we were scolded by a wren. I am learning to identify birds by their calls now.
I followed 'the path' as I call it, ...it is a route through the woods that Badger and I have done over and over again. I could pretty much just drop the reins and let him do it...though he'd want to stop and eat.
I promised hubby that I wouldn't be out too long so we did cut the ride short...only an hour. Later he asked me where I was...I was staring out the window. I said, *I'm still wishing to be mounted on my mule and exploring the woods*.
I never let on that my shoulders ached pretty nicely. It would only make him scold me when I go riding again.
At dusk, I walked with Morris to the ridge to watch the sunset. I haven't done that in a while either. I didn't find the sunset I wanted...but it forced me to rethink my photographic options and wow, I really liked what I came up with.
Morris of course was exhausted with the day's activities and found a nice cuddly spot on my messy bed. Good Morris, so brave, so fun, so entertaining.
I went to sleep knowing I had a superb day.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
We went to a 'Redneck' Wedding. The couple planned a bonifide Redneck wedding! After the vows were taken, they hopped on individual 4 wheelers and went mud bogging...she was still in her wedding dress!
Not to be outdone her daddy jumped in his truck and took it through the mud sliding it sideways to try and spray the on lookers with mud. Heh, I am fast and I ran!
Next thing I know I see MY grey truck with MY husband grinning as he makes his grand entrance through the mud hole. Oh I was hot, so angry that I didn't even get a picture. It really was in good fun and nothing got hurt.
The bridal party mud wrestled after the dinner and then everyone changed and danced or sat out under the moon and talked.
Me--I whimped out and went to bed early when hubby came home to chore.
Though this morning, I did get up at 5AM [thank you Morris] and was saddled up and on Badger by 8AM. [Thank you Badger!]
Nothing exciting but a little deer watching -- turkey sightings -- and lots of music from the morning birds.
Even picked some berries from the tall berry bushes! Yum.
Dang, do I have to go back to work tomorrow?