Surprise surprise

When I called Social Security to deal with Rich's monthly payment vs my monthly payment which is called Survivor Benefits, the person that answered was a total Grump. He kept saying 'you can go to the website' and do this. He interrupted me a few times. 

The thing is, I wanted to see or talk to a human and not do it online. So cold.

He gave me a date for a phone interview and repeated that I could do this at the website.

So I figured it was going to be a monumental hassle and I expected a phone call from a stern voiced person. I recieved a letter telling me the appointment time and what they would need.

Though to tell you the truth, the letter really left many items out. I'll get to that in a minute.

The phone rang and a very chipper woman said, "Hi! My name is Mallory and I'm from the Social Security Administration and I'm going to help you today."

I nearly dropped my cellphone and fainted. WHUT? 

She was going to help me? 

We went through details. 

Things you do need to know if you have been remarried, or previously married. How long were you married previously. When were you divorced? Date of Divorce? Where were you married, where were you divorced. Is your previous husband alive? What is your previous husband's birthdate?

When was your husband married and for how long? Date of Divorce? Is his previous wife remarried? What is the previous wife's name? What is her birthdate? Was your husband a Veteran? Which branch did he serve in? 

Marriage Certificate? Did I have one? Date? Mother's maiden name? A few more easy questions and that was it. 
Other than they needed to see the Marriage Certificate.

I replied that I had an appointment on Tuesday not far from their office. She said, 

"OH great! Could you bring it in and then we will copy it and your file will be closed! Type your social security number into the Kiosk and we'll jump you to the front of the line so you can hand us the certificate and we'll copy it and you can be on your way!"

Of course they had the bank info. Oddly enough, that was on my letter.

When I got to their office, I did as they said. I spent approximately 5 minutes waiting and then was on my way. The security guard was pleasant, the lady behind the window was pleasant, and the process was painless.

So the questions regarding marriage and divorce are things they need to know. While dealing with the VA, we had to show proof of my divorce, his divorce, and our martial certificate years ago. I had gathered all of those papers [which included the final divorce papers from the court] and had put them all together in large clip that resided in my lockbox.

All of these items have been essential items to have when negotiating through the death of a spouse. There should be a class regarding these things. 

It may a lot less complicated if you have never been divorced and remarried. However, you still need a notarized marriage certificate to physically show them or send it in. They will return those papers to you.

Face the facts. We will all go through at some point in our lives with the death of a loved one. No one wants to talk about it. No one likes to discuss it. But Rich and I were always open about these things and I was the record keeper. 

My surprise was how pleasant and cordial Mallory from the Social Security Administration was and I will say, it was comforting to do this with a living breathing human. Call me old fashioned, but I like to speak to people when discussing issues. I don't like a screen that asks me questions and asks to fill in the blanks.

So cold feeling.

I do wish that there was a class that people could attend to figure out how to negotiate everything that happens when a loved one passes.