Small town horse auctions are comparable to Liar's Meets. Who can tell the Tallest Tale of the virtues of the horse they are either leading into the stock ring or riding into it.
Sample:
'This here mare had 90 days professional training on her when she was 2 yrs old!' The man claims as he brings in a horse saddled. 'She was ridden all last year by my wife and never did nothing wrong!'
The man puts a foot in the stirrup and tries to mount the horse. In truth, the fella should not have been trying to show off this mare's attributes when he didn't even know how to mount.
The little bay mare's eyes widen with surprise and she starts a humpin' and a bumpin'. Two ring men run up and catch the horse by the bridle and an Amish ringman drags the fella off.
The auctioneer says, 'All right fellas, let's get a bid on this horse.' The crowd chuckles a bit.
The man says [waving his hands], 'This horse has had professional training -- she ain't never done nothin' wrong!'
He succeeds in getting on this time despite the auctioneer's warning to please NOT to.
The mare spins and nearly falls. Again the fella selling her gets dragged off. The lead ring man shakes his head.
Well the bidding got all the way up to $150. The gavel cracks down and 'Sold to number 131 for $150!'
The seller looks like he is going to protest when someone shouts out, 'That $150 will keep your wife from getting hurt!'
Another man rides in on a horse.
'What's this horse's story?' The auctioneer cries out.
'This horse is 8 years old and been trail rode all its life.' The horse meanwhile is pulling at the bit and shaking its head.
The man turns the horse back and forth, 'He ain't been rode for the past two years and I just took him outta the pasture today and he rode off just fine!'
The man uses his spurs to quicken the turning action of the horse in the small stock ring.
Then it happens. It's the sort of thing you see race car fans doing when there's a wreck. Everyone leans forward towards the action, sort of holding their breath.
The horse snorts, let's out some sort of noise and proceeds to provide the audience with a rodeo that would equal most National Circuits.
No one was hurt, but people were climbing out of the ring and jumping around. The rider loosened up the back girth and took it off.
The blame was laid on a tight back girth.
More stories of the virtues of the horse continued.
Interesting as it may seem, this horse was one of the high selling horses. It sold for over a $1,000.
The horse market is in sad shape. And as I talked to the auctioneer afterwards, he commented on the amount of people who were not prepared nor did they present their horses well.
I have to agree. If you are selling a product, clean it up and present it well.
People can see through the lies, we've all heard them before.
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