Chasing Fungi, Lichen, and Dreams

 

This is the spot where I turned around and headed back alongside the creek. 

I found this old fungi carcass ... is that even a proper way to say it? Dried out black old fungi. I thought it would make a good Trick or Treat surprise to gross someone out. 

The hike back along the creek was much easier than going up and over. The lichen on the rock faces always stop me in my tracks. 

 The colors range from pink to green to an aqua color. I have no idea what all of the lichen are called.

In a few spots there were tiny ferns growing. 

When the leaves fall and the colors leave the forest, I turn my eyes to the tiny things such as moss and lichen. 

I will transition from chasing fungi and mushrooms to chasing moss and lichen. [And Ice Caves!]

The beavers of Weister Creek  rebuilt their new home near the rock bluffs until the next flash flood moves them again.

Their work is a sample of ingenious engineering. I didn't get a photo of it as I was sort of hurrying back to the car.

When I climbed over the section of where the beaver dam used to be, I took a detour to see if I could glance down at one of the ice caves.

I got sidetracked by Woodland Russulas...I think:

They were everywhere! I could smell mushrooms in the air.

These coral fungi were hiding. The tiny Rabbit is 1/2 inch tall for some perspective.

I stopped here and sat in the pine needles. I could hear an occasional vehicle out on County P and I could hear waterfowl coming in for a landing below me on a large bend of the creek.

I didn't want to leave. 
I just didn't.

May...be, if I just melted down into the pine needles. I could just become part of the forest. I was sure if I shut my eyes and opened them very carefully, I'd see gnomes an fairies peeking from behind the trunks of trees.

My camera could capture photos of the adventure but not the essence. The smell of mushrooms, pine, and leaves...what sweeter smells could there be?

When I got home I was excited, tired, and relaxed. My mind was still in the forest.

The phone rang and it was my doctor. She affirmed what I'd seen in the test results. Her concern was rather urgent and she ordered more tests for Friday morning.

I don't like the 'unknown' I'm a person who likes to have all of my facts up front so I can look at them and deal with them. I like a plan, I like order, and I dislike chaos. But the human body is chaos.

A bone density test rates your bone mineral loss and the brittle factor so to speak.  It is to assess risk factors going forward. So since I am a very small person, it was no surprise that I was rated with mild osteoporosis  in one hip and a bit worse in the other. However the score for the Lumbar area was out of this world.  Leave it to me to be unusual. You know I strive to be 'different'.

Well huh. I guess that means I need to come up with a plan after the new test results come in. I feel better when I think I have a plan for things. And I do realize that I am not always in 'control' of my world. I would love to think I could be!

I am going back to the forest to Dream...

What to live for

Yesterday was a busy day. We'd gone to the VA for appointments on Tuesday and it felt like we spent the whole day going from one place to another.
Actually we got in early and were seen early which is not the usual way things happen.

We have the Kenosha Gang coming this weekend. They aren't actually from Kenosha but I met them while living in that county.
So I was anxious to get the yard work started and at least do some picking up and preparing for their visit.
Rich's meds in the morning make him light headed and dizzy. Two inhalers plus a nebulizer treatment in the morning seems to make him wobbly. He feels constantly stuffed up and we asked the ENT folks Tuesday to check that out. They are following up on the Throat Cancer, fingers crossed...all looks good.

It seems one of the meds for prostrate enlargement is making his sinuses a bit swollen. It is a side effect. IF anyone can have an unusual side effect from medication, it will be my husband.

I looked up his meds and yes, they keep him going but sometimes I wonder if the meds are doing as much harm combined as they could be doing good? I think a major review of the medications are in order. So many of his meds have dizziness as a side effect.

The good news from the CT scan with contrast is that the aneurysm in his brain has not shown any change, nor are there any signs of new strokes.
The bad.
He feels lousy, he has no ambition or energy, he feels dizzy and out of breath often, he has tremors, and emotionally flat most of the time.
The grumpy Gus I used to be married to no longer oversees my fencing or corrects the way I do projects. He shrugs and watches Netflix or takes a nap.

Yesterday morning he sat with his coffee after eating breakfast and said, "I'm just slowly dying, fading away. I wish I could feel like doing something or just trying to do something."
I said nothing. What could I say? He was right. My husband was fading before my eyes.
The man who used to be the Take Charge Man, no longer shows interest in most things.

Hopefully our meeting next week with Neuro-Psychology will prove helpful. In a way Rich felt as if it would have been kinder if the doctors had not been able to remove the two clots in his brain and had just let him go.

So he went to bed for his morning nap and I told him that I was going to go outside and work. That is what I do when I am frustrated and feel helpless.

I started up the weed eater and attacked the long grasses next to the shed. Then I went after other messy places, those places that are so hard to mow.
After my hands began to hurt, I put the ''eater' down and started to trim with the little mower. I took breaks often, but got all the trimming done around the house.

After lunch Rich came out and mowed a portion of the yard and then went to lay down again. He said he'd finish the rest of the yard after a rest.

I proceeded to work on the new/old chair after I watered and rotated the Dexter cattle to a different section of the woods. I sat on the porch and took out my paints. I'd worked out my frustrations and now it was time to let my creative juices flow.

Remember that ugly chair?

Well I have been working on it a bit at a time.

I usually don't plan things out and just let it happen. I wanted bright cheery colors so I used brilliant yellow spray paint on the legs and added some aqua. I used silver on the back of the chair. I don't know why but just did.

I had some old white paint that needed to be used up so I painted the seat white. Boring old white.
While I was at it, I spruced up the wooden spool that we use as a porch table.

I finally got around to doing the edges....not shown here.

The plain white boring seat bothered me, so I did some touching up here and there and then started to experiment with some masking tape.

That was fun, so I began mixing the aqua, blue, green, and seafoam colors in a cap and creating my own colors and made more stripes.

Okay. Nice looking but not FUN!

The stripes aren't perfect, and the paints aren't perfect, but it had its charm. However it needed something else.

Now I am completely charmed by this old chair. If it lasts a season or two on the porch I will be happy. My butterfly happy colored chair.
It fits in so nicely with my spool table and funky table top...

Ready for company!

Charlie was exhausted.

All that supervising wore him out.

The day was still 'young' after supper was cleaned up.
Remember I said I had the Kenosha Gang visiting this weekend? They want to go riding. So I am saving some time and saddling each mule we will take with the saddle that will be used on them with each rider. Amanda will ride Sunsine in my Western saddle that I modified. So last night I saddled Sunshine and took her for a rather boring but peaceful ride on the gravel roads and hay fields.

Sunshine is out of my original horse, Cheyanne. She is half sister to my all time favorite mule Badger who is no longer with us.

And...
then...
my day
was complete...

Well in this life you must find something to live for
Cause when darkness comes a callin'
You'll go back to where you were before
Cause this life is as
Fragile as a dream, and
Nothing's ever really
As it seems...
~~Lily Kershaw
"As it seems"

The End Game

I took Morris in for his follow up appointment and a SubQ hydration treatment. Dr. Grimm declared him stable as of this time.

We discussed Morris's medical future. He has Kidney Disease/Failure along with a very bad tooth. He isn't stable enough to have surgery on the mouth nor will he likely ever be. Plus, that surgery is very expensive and not recommended for dogs his age and in his condition.

As long as Morris is stable we won't be poking and prodding him a lot. As long as he maintains weight with his new Kidney Diet food and continues to drink water and not begin to vomit and have diarrhea, we are doing well.
There is a BUT in this.
But Kidney Disease is Kidney Failure and it will take his life. We don't know when or how quickly. It can be weeks or months, but Morris will succumb to the disease.

There won't be any heroics when Morris succumbs to the next crisis. That may sound cruel but I don't want to promote suffering.

So yesterday after the visit with the Doctor we went for a drive. We then walked a new trail in Jersey Valley County Park and just enjoyed the autumn afternoon.

I'd like to say that I had a philosophical discussion with Morris as we sat on a rock overlooking the lake. But we didn't. He smelled, sniffed, and was basically a dog enjoying the walk. As long as we can, we will continue with these walks, they won't be hard or demanding as we used to do, but just nice simple walks at his pace.

Morris napped comfortably in the car on the half hour drive home. He was alert and perky when he hopped out of the Subaru to oversee his farm. After he checked things out, he asked to go in and get fed.

Life is simple for him. When he feels good, he wants to be on the go. When he is hungry he lets you know. When he'd like to get up at 4am to survey his "Kingdom" he also lets you know.
Nap time is preferable if he has a lap to do it on. Otherwise his couch will suffice.

May the rest of his days be pain free.