It feels odd

I really didn't expect that my MIL's passing would affect me as it did. 

I mean I'd been masked up, gowned, and confined to her room for three days watching her sleep and struggle for breath as her body started to shut down its systems.

She gurgled and made odd noises. Sunday she did speak a few different sounds.

"I'm tired." 

It did though. I haven't felt like doing much for the past couple of days. I did take Siera for an evening ride in the woods which seemed to help me focus again. Maybe it is relief  that she isn't in pain and sadness that I will miss her, but I have been mourning her for a long while. Harder when the only way I could see her again was so I could sit with her in her final hours.

Today, the 4th of July we will have a small graveside service on a HOT and blazing humid day.

The funeral had been paid for ahead of time and MIL did save our butts by picking out the casket. She had put her daughter in charge of the visitation and her son in law in charge of providing the service.

I won't go into it further but Covid-19 was not the only reason this didn't happen.

Lenise's grand daughter, Rich's daughter, was invaluable for helping with the small details. She helped with the Obit. 

I will digress here. We had so many laughs and wonderful memories putting this together. Discussed Fireworks! What could go wrong! Said the Mark [the funeral director].

He said the strangest obit he ever wrote was "Jane Doe, born on insert date, died on insert date.

Jane Doe loved Cats and Jesus.

Stephanie knew what flowers Lenise adored the most. We decided to be prudent and offer a short graveside service and hired a pastor for that too.

A few of Lenise's friends will come. It will be unbearably hot, humid, and sticky. But it will be outside and people can be socially distanced.

My son Jer showed up last night with his two children to pay his respects. 

The kids were so well behaved and didn't even complain about my cooking. Yeah, I didn't exactly have kid friendly stuff in the house.

However. What can I say? Those kids put on masks and wore them while playing on the porch.

We did sit together for a few minutes on the porch.

We may have looked like hooligans but we were being very careful. Charlie was in 7th heaven.

The kids are staying at a "No Tell" Motel in town and will be back this morning for breakfast. I can make cinnamon rolls by Pillsbury I think without screwing it up to badly.

This morning's sunrise was stunning. I didn't get out to the ridge to stand on the rise and watch it...

but...

...but there it is..