Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Girls Day Out

My MIL has had some health issues. She had a fall and was admitted to the hospital. She spent time in rehab at a local nursing home. It was discovered that she had some 'cognitive impairment' and let's just leave it at that.

Things have been pretty strained. Yesterday, I volunteered to take my SIL and MIL to her video visit with a kidney doctor.

Things were strained on the drive which took almost 40 minutes. Oh I could have made it much faster, but I took my time, feeling the electricity and discomfort that permeated the vehicle. MIL knows that her care is now in the hands of her appointed Health POA and Financial POA agents. She isn't happy about that and is resentful of it.
I get that, but I also understand that she doesn't realize that she does indeed need help.

So to break the silence and tension, I asked my MIL if she could direct me to where we were going. She perked up and said of course she could. Well that was better than the tense silence that was thrumming in the vehicle. I did know where I was going, but I also understood that my MIL has suffered from losing control of her 'life' as she sees it.
Hmmm, I don't know if I actually consciously knew this or am I realizing what I did after the fact.

I followed her directions and she instructed me to drop her off at the door and then I could park the car. I leaped out of the Subaru and grabbed her walker out of the hatch back and handed it to her. SIL and MIL headed inside.
I caught up with them shortly and prepared to sit in the waiting room. I'd brought my Kindle and was going to play while MIL and SIL saw the doctor via video. SIL had the right to be there, I didn't and was surprised when the nurse called MIL and immediately SIL and her exchanged heated words. I was motioned to come along and I could feel MIL seething as she clunked her walker down the hallway.

After the appointment, I trotted out to get the car and pick the ladies up. I broke the silence by asking "Where to?"

They answered in unison, "The Meat Locker!"
I deferred to MIL for directions as SIL doesn't drive and really doesn't know the town well enough to give directions. After a couple of not quite right turns, we arrived. Again, I leaped out and grabbed the walker. I waited outside like a chauffeur [really, that is exactly what I was for the day] and assisted the ladies with their purchases and the handling of the walker.

MIL expressed her wishes to eat lunch out. I had her direct me to the little restaurant and we had a nice conversation and lunch.

On our drive home I announced that we were going to play the Dead Animal Game. I explained that a person got points by spotting road kill and rules were made up as we went along. I spotted a dried up deer on the side of the road and claimed two points for it.
My MIL suddenly announced a few miles later that she saw a Dead Cow laying behind a barn, behind a tree. She announced that she now had 10 points. SIL inquired as to the validity of the claim with a smile in her voice. I laughed and indicated that she was now winning. SIL said she saw a dead squirrel on a hill half a mile away. 1 Point!

As we crossed over a bridge two mallards flew over head. I pointed them out. MIL quickly said that she was deducting 2 points for calling out live animals.
I feigned anger and then signaled and pulled over slowly to the side of the road.

My MIL had a hand over her mouth and was laughing. I leaned towards her and told her that I may just decide to make her walk! By this time both women were laughing. MIL had tears of laughter glistening at the edges of her eyes.

The rest of the drive home was spent making up animals and scouting out 'fixer upper' homes for additional points.

There was no scowling or grumpy faces when I dropped the two of them back off at the apartment.

2 comments:

  1. At least the end of the drive was fun for you! The elderly can be so difficult. My Dad insists that I park in the same spot for Bingo and I always hope his favorite table has not been taken. Hang in there:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kudos for knowing what to do. Sounds like you turned it into a much happier experience.

    ReplyDelete

Please include at least your first name if you are commenting Anonymously. Thank you.