Christmas Chair???

Back this year.

The Christmas Chair.

In the photos below you see most of the living room and the back side of my husband sitting in his folding chair to watch TV.

Here is the opposite end of the huge West Wing.

The nesting boxes will be decorated too. I can't put the tree in the corner like years past. 

The 'new' concentrator can't be crowded and needs plenty of room for the heat to dissipate from its backside. I liked the old concentrator better. We had a place where it could sit out of the way and still get plenty of ventilation. 

Grrr....oh... well.

So things are still under construction, so to speak. I fiddle with everything more than once or twice. I'll probably even move little things around several more times.

The Chair/Tree combo after I just put it up....

Yes, it looks a bit lopsided and a bit off from this angle. But I look at it in a different way.

I look at it in bits and pieces of tiny things I want displayed. How do I want light to be reflected? How do I want to see individual ornaments?

On the chair is a red necklace that was worn by my MIL. It shows off one of my horse ornaments nicely.

Over the next month or so, the items on the chair will change.

Draped onto the tree are some other necklaces MIL used to wear. I don't wear that type of jewelry, but I though it was a nice way to 'have' her with us in some sort of way this year.

The nesting box looks much nicer after it has been decorated and lit up.

It too will change over the next month. 

Gnomes and toys will end up moving around the house....

Because oh...how I do love toys!

A Shovel and a thought...

Shoveling 101.

There was only about 2 inches of snow to I just pushed it with the shovel out of the way. I sanded the spots that have ice underfoot. This is by the north side of the house. I didn't want to fire up the skid steer just for that. I don't like using it and I thought by taking the tracks off from it, it would be easier to operate.

It is but without the tracks AND the spikes it doesn't have the traction it used to have. I just can't win.

I pushed snow out of the way for vehicles to turn around. Keep in mind that I've had to call 911 for an ambulance many times over the years for my husband.

Actually the work kept my mind off from a few other things and I was able to sort of plan how I'd clear this spot with the skid steer after the major storm that is predicted to come in tomorrow through Saturday. I also had time to work out which elder mules would go inside tomorrow afternoon.

Charlie looks up the driveway towards the ridge.
My neighbor has taken over the plowing of the hill for us with his tractor.

I am very grateful that he comes down to my place and turns around. I am standing in the middle of my driveway for these shots. The hill to the south and the house to the north.

This winter I can park the Subaru in the large shed so the driveway and the north side of the house are clear for med deliveries and an emergency vehicle should we need one.

The flatter areas could easily be plowed out with a 4 wheeler or UTV. I'd like the Polaris Ranger as it has a dump box and I could use it for fence work, yard work, level plowing, moving dirt, gardening, and ... well, it is handier than the skid steer, and since it could replace both the skid steer AND the 4 wheeler....

....Still working on that idea. 

Anyway.

Update on MIL.

The nurse told me yesterday that Dr. Bassett has now decided that MIL has a viral infection. [I'm thinking viral pneumonia, but no official dx has been offered]. She still has CHF and Stage 3/[just points above stage 4] Kidney Failure. 

When I texted and called around to offer that up as an update, I got one odd comment back.

Oh that is a relief.

Um. What?

So this new revelation says to those who haven't seen her...that she is okay and it is just a cold type thing?

So now this development says to me that a common cold or virus is/can be deadly in her condition. But a collective sigh of relief?
She is still very sick, she is in the hospital still.

I imagine they will treat her and get her released back to the nursing home as soon as possible.
Which brings me to another sore point in my mind. The mentality of health care these days are get them just good enough to be released. So they can get another patient in.

I'll be headed into the hospital this morning after chores [it is -2 F with a wind chill of...pretty damned cold!]

Life and death and decisions...

Frightful weather!

Overnight it snowed again. More snow/drizzle stuff. I spent about an hour last night cleaning out certain areas with a shovel. I had everything exactly how I wanted it and then...
it snowed again...and drizzled.

I saw an electric snow shovel on another blog I follow and thought that was the cat's meow until I realized that I'd have to keep it plugged in and a cordless one would operate for 25 to 30 minutes.
I almost considered a snow blower but only for about 30 seconds when I saw all the instructions and gas mixing stuff.
Ok, not a choice for me.

I'm still thinking of a little plowing machine type 4 wheeler job. It would get all the flat areas I needed cleared and a tiny bit of shovel work would do the trick. IF there was a blizzard and a few feet of snow, well that is different sort of story.

The weather this morning is not good so I'm not going into town until it settles down. There is supposed to be an icy mix of 'stuff' moving through.

I spent the day at the hospital with my MIL again yesterday.
I discovered that I actually do have a heart in my body. I've been accused of being too unemotional in the past and I admit it. I usually don't let emotions get in the way of pragmatic thinking.
I put 'the job' in front of me first and don't get all emotional and upset as that doesn't help the thought process.
But yesterday I sat and watched the nurses and lab lady pull blood as MIL cried out and kept crying. I wondered exactly how on earth was modern medicine helping?

Congestive Heart Failure along with Kidney Disease progresses to organ malfunction, fluids in the lungs, and a rather long list of probable outcomes. Death is the last outcome and it is unavoidable.

MIL struggled hard for air and she literally sounded as if she were gurgling.

Two members of the family had been asking if they should come. One is further away and would require a flight.
They didn't ask me though as my reply would have been 'I am at a loss as to why you haven't already come before?'

So I struggled with being the only relative there and I was the daughter in law.

I fetched a warmed blanket after the gals had gone, a CNA said she could put it on MIL.
I said, "No! I'll do it. This way she can feel me tuck her in and put my arms around her. I'm family, it is much nicer to have a family member tuck you in than a stranger."
The CNA smiled and handed me the blanket.

And as I tucked my MIL in and she groaned with delight, I felt my heart fall to pieces.

I was grateful that there was no one else in the room to see my tears or feel my heartache. Me, the ever stoic person.

And I felt anger at the daughter who had said that she didn't want to see her mom until after she had passed because it was too stressful for her.
I thought of the opportunities that the family members had passed up in the last 8 months of seeing MIL happy, clean, well fed, and chipper at the nursing home. I thought of the funny things that MIL and I have been sharing. And I was very angry and then very sad.
And then I felt grateful that I had taken the time to be with her. That I had visited.

And then I thought how much I would miss her too.

I sat back to watch her fall into a much more comfortable sleep.

And before I left for the day I wondered this awful thing.
How we as a human race will let our pets pass on when they are so ill and in so much pain.
But we won't/can't let our chronically ill people go ...or just keep looking for treatments to prolong suffering?

I'm really not a cruel person. I just can't see going through momentous efforts that cause pain and only have the same result in the end.

I am so very glad that Rich and I put together Advanced Directives and Living Wills in place. I know my son will make sure that they are carried out if I am not able to implement them.

That's the way things go...

Beautiful Night Hike at Wildcat Mountain State Park:

The full moon was bright and clear once it came above the horizon.

Tiki Torches lit the trail which was a bit slick in spots from the ice storm. But it was worth it!

I took the above shot knowing that it would turn out pretty crappy, but in my mind's eye...

I saw this:

After all, the moon the trees, the reflections off the ice and snow where amazing and so beautiful!


I'd made some awesome creamed chicken soup from leftovers and so Sunday was just a lazy day of folding laundry and doing chores.

While I was doing chores the phone rang and Rich didn't pick it up as he didn't recognize the number. But he called me in...actually he went outside onto the porch and flagged me down!

The call was from the Guardian and his mother was being taken to the local ER, could I call the Guardian back? I was watching the water tank fill so I texted the Guardian.

MIL was suspected to have pneumonia could I notify my SIL? I texted sure and made the call. SIL calls back as I am getting my coat on.
"What's up? What's going on? How is she?..." you know the endless questions that one wants to ask.
I remind her that she is calling on the landline, so I am still at the house and not at the hospital. I suppose I should be used to her knee jerk reactions by now. So I tell her I will text her after I see her mother.

I do get to the hospital as the nurses are setting up IV antibiotics. Mom sounds tough and she rattles and has labored breathing. They have her on 02 but she is in good spirits and seems to be well aware of what is going on.
The nurses are vague as far as any diagnosis but do say that they are treating for suspected pneumonia. Blood tests reveal that there is an infection.
I help MIL eat a sandwhich and she loves the fresh fruit plate, dislikes the coffee, and dislikes the soda and states to the nurses that she will NOT drink water.
One of her IV's is for re-hydration of course.

I stay until she is settled and falls asleep.

I did inform SIL via text and she starts asking: Is this related to her legs?

I scratch my head. MIL is near stage IV kidney failure so has badly swollen legs but I'm not sure what the connection is except that MIL is not very healthy and has several medical issues going on all of the time. That is why she is a resident in the nursing home.

I text back: I don't know.
She texts back: I KNOW

I don't answer as I am perplexed as to how she knows everything. Besides, SIL rarely makes much sense.


At 6am this morning I start getting texts from SIL in Utah.
"How is the patient?"
She means well, but sometimes I think SIL has an alternate reality where I am her personal assistant from afar.
I text back: "It is 6am and I have to plow and do chores, take care of your brother...I am not at the hospital."
Her reply: "So when are you going to be there?"

I think about the things I'd like to say. But am pleasant in my reply:
"When I get there."
I wanted to say....If you are concerned, you can get there first.
Snarky as she moved to Utah and we are in Wisconsin.

But not Snarky because she told me that she did not want to care for her mother or visit her.

So there.
So please don't expect me to be extra kind to relatives that pretend to care so much but really don't.

That's the way things go...

Great Weekend!

I had to wake Charlie up and ask him if he'd like to do chores with me. He likes to spend early mornings buried in blankets on the couch. Should I say he is a spoiled dog?

Okay. He is a spoiled dog.

After chores we decided to take the forest detour to the mail box to pick up Saturday's mail.
He flushed up 3 rabbits and gave chase.
Thank goodness for that beeper collar. I can call him off track when he gets a bit too far for comfort. [Think tiny dog snack to coyotes]

Rich is feeling a bit better now that the meds he reacted to are finally out of his system.

Saturday we had a short visit from my friend from CrossFit. She stopped by and was telling me about needing a 'pet taxi' or crate for her daughter's little dog and she was flabbergasted as to how expensive they were. I straightened up and asked her to step into my Pickers Shed! I found Morris's old crate which was in perfect shape, but very dusty. I asked her if she'd take it off my hands.
Talk about a win win situation!
Now I just need to finish fixing up the truck and haul the other 8 crates into the animal shelter.
My friend Kristi said she would love to bring her kids out to hike this week while they are out of school. Two of the kids are getting pocket cameras for Christmas and she said that I'd inspired them when I'd visited their farm last month to take family photos.
Another Win for me! I adore hiking with kids and teaching them about cameras!

My neighbor's boy received a hand me down pocket camera of mine. You should have seen Carson's face when he realized what was in the box! We'll go hiking later today. Color me tickled.
Allison, my little bug gal, wishes to be an Entomologist when she grows up. I found an amazing book called Bugopedia for her. The youngest boy adores rabbits and has 3 pet rabbits. I found a book called Rabbit and Me for him.

I dropped by the nursing home to take some hand made Christmas cards from the neighbor children to MIL. She loved them so much that she passed them around her lunch table for everyone to admire.
I decorated her room some more and hung her cards that she received.

We've had very nice weather for the past few days and a lot of sunshine. I think that has to be why everything feels that much nicer.

I end this with a shot from this morning. I could see the sky just barely beginning to show light when I walked out into the chill with a camera and tripod. This was a 37 second exposure done in Live Time with a ground fog moving through.
I think it is my favorite sunrise photo of the year!

Good Day!

Yesterday was one of those days that started off where I was tired, grumpy, and just not a very nice person.
The day was dreary and ugly.

I skipped CrossFit since I was so tired and decided to do some other things. I thought I'd try going with the Christmas Cards again to the Nursing Home to see MIL. Perhaps she would be in a better mood and want to sign a few so I could send them out for her.

I'd contacted Rich's doctor and we exchanged thoughts through Secure Messaging. Doc is going to think on things and talk to some others. He feels depression is a huge issue but since the stroke Rich has become hyper sensitive to medications. Plus he'll see the results of last week's brain MRI are and what neurology has to offer.

So I did my errands and headed over to the Nursing Home. I was armed with Hershey Kisses and Cards and addresses. MIL was in a much better mood than last week and agreed to do cards. I think the candy bribe helped.

I put up the 3 cards she had received and talked to the staff. They said I could decorate her room more if I'd like. I will do that too.
MIL and I sat together for over and hour as I went through a list of names of people in her immediate family.

At one point she grabbed a card and handed it to me. She said, "This goes to Rich and Val...you will mail it for me, right?" I nodded and took it, telling her 'of course I will!'

We had quite a nice little stack by the time we were done and she was tired out. So I helped her to her easy chair and packed up. Rich was napping when I got home so I took time to take Sven and Charlie for a walk.

After supper I settled down to address all of the cards and write notes in them. I even posted on FB a request for MIL's relatives to PM me for an address so we could fill up her bulletin board with pretty cards.

I don't understand the way so many people in a nursing facility seem to be the hidden and forgotten people.
It just makes me sad.

However, MIL and I really did have a nice time.

And she is well cared for here.

I texted a this photo of her doing cards to her daughter and grand daughter. I got a huge thank you from the grand daughter and the daughter started asking me in short bursts of texts...
Did you get ... so and so?
Did you get ...
and after 8 texts of names [of people I don't know but who are relatives]...

I texted her back that no we didn't, but SHE could contact those relatives and ask them to send her mom a card as that surely would make her day and help decorate her room.

I really felt great after finishing those cards up. And I even slept all night last night!
I'm ready for this new day.

And I will go back Friday to decorate MIL's room a bit more.

Tomorrow we have to be up and out the door before daybreak to meet with the neurosurgeon regarding the results of the brain MRI.
Rich was feeling a bit more himself yesterday and even sat down to watch something with me before going to bed early.

I slept on the couch with Charlie and it was a nice sound night of sleep!

The Lefse event at the Nursing Home

While at CrossFit yesterday morning, one of the young ladies I work out with told me that there was 'Lefse Making' at the home where my MIL is at, was I going to come?
Since it was snowing and blowing and most of my 'to do' list was complete, I said I'd go.

I woke Lenise up when I got to her room and sat with her while she slowly gained her senses.
She said she was tired, I replied that they were doing a Lefse making 'thing' down in the cafeteria and that I'd come special, just to spend the afternoon with her.

Success! I got her out of bed, slippers and glasses put on... and off we went. We wheeled into the cafeteria as the Lefse Ladies were starting to roll out the dough.

Lefse dough consists of pounds and pounds of potatoes peeled and cooked then run through a ricer. Hmm, easier to provide a link than it is to explain it since I am not a baking person.

Sons of Norway: Lefse Making

I parked Lenise so that she could see the ladies rolling out the dough and using the stick to transfer it to the grill thing. Pretty soon we had a table of four residents all trying to make conversation.

I passed out coffee to the ladies and tried to field questions.

Mary told everyone and anyone who was there that she liked the Packers and that she was from Green Bay and she was of German descent. Mabel was worried that she was at the wrong table and didn't know us. It seemed to bother her a lot.
Lorraine announced that she didn't recognize anyone and that was okay because she was pretty sure that we were okay.
Lenise told the girls that she lived in an apartment in town in Viroqua. Then said she had an apartment in Readstown. Minutes later she told them she had a room at the Home just like them.

I recently finished a very good book Where Memories Go: Why Dementia Changes Everything by Sally Magnusson.
It is an incredible account of travelling through the world of her mom's dementia with a daughter and her family. I've been reading and doing a bit of research. It really has helped me understand and not fear visiting the home or being uncomfortable around those who do have different stages of dementia.

Mable [not her real name] was really quite put out at not being at her normal cafeteria table. I'd be busy listening to the others talk and I'd watch her out of the corner of my eye. She kept rearranging an empty spot on the table over and over. She reached over and picked up a napkin and asked me to read it to her.
I asked her to help me with it.
Mabel said, "It is signed Olga [something...I couldn't make out what she said]." She handed me the napkin and I studied it for a moment and said, "Yes it does!"
She nodded and put it back on the table.

Lorraine pulled on my arm and I squatted next to her. She asked who I was and I told her that I was Lenise's daughter in law.
Lorraine looked at me and asked, "Do you know my mother?"
I answered no.
She said, "My mother said she'd be here. I don't see her, will you watch for her?"
I said sure...

Mabel reached into the center of the table for a little white pumpkin decoration and picked it up. She oohed and ahhed over it for a moment and then announced it was a cupcake.
She shoved it to her mouth and tried to bite it. The other ladies told her 'No!' while I gently pried it from her and set it out of her reach.
"But I want that donut!" she said.

The table conversation was in fits and starts. Lenise would ask Mabel a question and Mabel would stare off into the distance. Lorraine would say something and Lenise would answer. Mary would jump in with her mantra regarding the Green Bay Packers.
Mabel suddenly pointed to an empty spot on the table and asked, "Do you see that? It is so bright and pretty!"
Her hands lifted and her eyes followed something up to the cafeteria ceiling.
"Look look," she kept saying, "it is so pretty! Do you see it?"

See here is where a bit of understanding comes into play. Arguing with Mabel wouldn't have done anyone any good. Lorraine looked up and then asked me if I'd seen her mother again.
Mary gazed off into the distance.
Lenise looked up and then said to Mabel, "Did you spill spaghetti on the floor?"

However Mabel was entranced by her vision of something beautiful and her face was absolutely at peace and full of joy.

Lorraine asked me for some more coffee. Mabel asked me who I was. Mary left. And so it went with snippets of conversation around watching the ladies make Lefse.

I finally asked Lenise if she'd like to go back to her room. I had a few things to get done in town and needed to get home for chores and supper. As far as I was concerned, Lenise had a very good day. She was pretty sharp. We tooled down the hallway and when I got to the end she pointed the way to her room.

I stopped to turn her into the doorway and she pointed to her name and room number.
"See!" she said, "there is my name and number. They keep moving my room and putting my name on so many doors!"
No use in correcting her.
I ask where she'd like to Park and she points.
"Is this the same room that you got me from?" she asks.
"Yes ma'am," I reply, "there is your afghan!" I reach out and straighten it out.
"Don't bother 'they' left it like that when they moved me," she says.

I think this may be her way of being a little upset when she knows I'm going to leave. I'm not sure. I sit on her bed and take her hand then tell her I'll come again.
Small consolation, I think to myself. I hug her and gather my coat and things.

I look over my shoulder as I leave her room and she is staring at the wall her hands in her lap.

I feel my heart squeezed a bit and... then turn to go brave the cold snowy world and return home to take care of Rich.

Molly the nurse stopped me outside in the hallway and asked if I 'get a break' from CareGiving. I smile and shake my head.

"You know how families can be," I reply, "I'm not bitter or angry. Just sad that the family is losing such precious moments like those I get to have."

That slippage Dementia thing....

I'm learning a lot these days about the word Dementia.

Well you know I call it 'Slippage', it is a kinder word. I wish the doctors would just call it something nicer like what it is.

Brain Disease. Perhaps instead of Dementia or Alzhiemers, or Vascular Dementia, Lewey Bodies...it could be called simply Brain Malfunction. Okay not that think of how the doctors like to use initials. BM sure wouldn't work well for Brain Malfunction.

Some days the neurons and memory pathways work perfectly for my MIL. She has very bright days which are less than her dim days. Those days she tells me of things that make no real sense to me, but make perfect sense to her.
She tells me that they moved her room again. I ask if it is 210 and she says yes of course it is. But they move it often, her name and number stay the same but sometimes they put it in different places.

I think about it later and this is a perfect explanation. It makes sense. If she is having trouble finding her way back to her room, it must have been moved. In her mind that is the only logical reason.
I'm beginning to understand how her mind will grasp something and she makes sense out of it with this type of reasoning. I applaud her line of thinking, it is imaginative.
It shows that she still is thinking and that is a good thing.

So the next time she told me that, instead of correcting her we went on an adventure to go find her room. We were both pleased as punch to find it and I congratulate her on being so clever.

"Not clever," she laughs. I leave her for the afternoon and go back home. In a way it feels hard to leave her sitting in her room like that. But now I know she will get her 'lift' chair from her apartment in her room. This should make her daytime naps easier and more comfortable than sitting in her wheelchair nodding off.


Dementia tests. There are a variety of them and though I understand the need for them to mark a baseline and watch the 'progression' of the slippage, I disagree with people visiting and trying to tell MIL to remember this or that. Endless questions instead of casual conversations.
Leave the prognosis to the doctors, but be there with your parent or spouse.

Yesterday Rich had a physical.
The nurse gave him a short 'dementia' memory test. A SLUMS test. He actually did very well and if the nurse took into account that he has aphasia, she would have scored it higher. I noted that to her... but... oh well.

His COPD is a bit worse, but I knew that because he has been avoiding going to Pulmonary Therapy. He figures that his summer work is done and he doesn't need to do more? Not sure.
Each time we get ready to go to Fresh Start he finds a reason he can't go.
"My tummy hurts"
"I'm too tired"
"I feel dizzy"

His room 02 sats are falling so I tried to show him that IF he doesn't work at it, he will get connected to the dreaded cord all the time again.
This resistance is understandable and frustrating at the same time.

I have been engaging him in opinions. "Show me how to put this cordless drill together!" He does. "If I build the stall and put some plywood in the spots where Fred would put his head through the rails would that help?"
We discuss zip ties and plywood.
A short but satisfying talk in which he tells me that I had a good idea.

He still there but fades most of the day into watching the trees and the mules out in the pasture or a TV show.
No longer is the boss guy around. The guy who would shudder to know his wife can drive his skid steer and drill a hole in plywood...or even rebuild a stall.

His is not so much 'slippage'. His memory is spotty about things from a year ago. But his issue is apathy. Stroke related apathy.
He listens to the doctors and nods, he listens to me and agrees to 'try' to do more.

And then.
He returns to watching out the window or getting tired. Self motivation seems to have disappeared completely.

Winter is coming and I feel like it could be a long one.

Treasures!

This little pot below was in a box with some chicken figurines, salt and pepper shakers, and a 'Teapot' as the guy said.

It is not a teapot but a Drip-O-Lator Coffee Pot made around the 1920-1930's. There would have been a drip thing that goes on between the lid and the pot itself.

Interesting!

Wish I would have taken an interest in Antique stuff when MIL was doing these things. 

It is fun to figure out what some of this is.

Trinket Box. I was surprised to find this in the box too. It is cute as all get out. Tiny as can be too. 

It could hold about two wedding rings inside of it.

The Rooster and Hen figurines is what I wanted. Heck I tried to get my MIL for years to sell or gift these figures to me. She always said no, but never in a mean way. I just loved them ever since I first saw them.
I've looked these up and now I understand why she kept them. They do have a nice value to them. I wasn't looking for the value, I just loved the chickens!

The tiny chicken salt and pepper shakers!
The checker board behind them was another item I purchased. Just as a reminder of all the wonderful times I had at Mom's place and how I've always admired her homes and neat decorations.

This is something I saw when the auctioneer held it up. For some reason, I'd never noticed this before in MIL's collection of neat glass paper weights. She really loved these things and had quite the collection.

This is a St. Clair 'Carnival Glass' paperweight. Pretty unusual.
I didn't intend on getting any paper weights, but this was so different than any I'd seen, I purchased it.
When I got home I had to look up what 'Carnival Glass' was and what and who St. Clair was.
It is pretty and odd.
It suits me fine.

Copper Ash/Coal Scuttle.
I love the lions face on the handles.

My mother in law had this in her apartment and over many years I recall helping her decorate her place with her silk flower arrangements in all of these cool and odd containers. To tell you the truth I thought it was pretty and kind of odd at the same time. Hey, I am odd too. When I bought this at the auction I just did because it was neat.
Then I thought ... Hey I can put my stick Christmas Tree in this! Many folks use them as an umbrella stand. I have an umbrella, it is in my Subaru.

The one item I'd gone for was a sort of ... chicken nesting box/turned coffee table... primitive sort of piece. I'll have to get a good photo of it and show it off.

Years ago I admired this too. My father in law said he'd make one for me and my oldest son. We raised chickens a long time ago and this item was just so neat. It served as a small coffee table/display table in my MIL's house and in her apartment.
Lonnie had cut most of the pieces out for the duplicate table but passed away before the project ever took off.

And how is my MIL doing? Pretty well. She got to see her grand daughter this weekend and the great grand children. I was in on Monday to visit with her and she was tired and half in and out of her bed. I had a nurse help me get her situated and she asked me why I was there. I told her it was lunch time. She told me it was night time.
I let her sleep. Indeed the day was gloomy and overcast.

Her slippage changes often. Yesterday she brightly recalled her apartment when last week she didn't recall it at all. That is the confusing part of dementia/slippage for those of us who see it daily. One day is bright and clear, the next is something of a fog when there are gaps. And memories don't always fit together, but are jumbled in a different order.

However I am quite grateful for the figurines and the little treasures. I know the money from the auction goes towards paying for her care and I get to enjoy the items I so loved.

It is a sad win/win situation and a bit bittersweet in a way.

It Tastes LIKE...

Well, you fill in the blanks!

I walked in to the nursing home cafeteria and MIL was pushing her plate around. The others were eating quietly but brightened up when I said 'Howdy my friends!'

I asked what they were having and everyone told me something different.
Lisa said, "Biscuits and Gravy."
Joan said, "Pork and Gravy." She gave Lisa a sideways glance and rolled her eyes.
John didn't say but just waved one hand that held the mystery meat and gravy and slid it to his mouth with a smile.
MIL said, "Chicken and Gravy!"
Larry remained silent. He is the new 'kid' at the table and I don't think he really feels comfortable with the others.

On the other side of the cafeteria/lunchroom, one of the aides asked the person she was helping, "Don't you like Thanksgiving? This is Turkey and Gravy!"

I announced that I thought it might be Turkey and Gravy along with peas, carrots, and potatoes and bread pudding. I got nods around the table and then Lisa asked out of the blue.
"So what does broccoli taste like?"
It was directed at me and I looked over at Joan who was rolling her eyes once more.

"Well," I said, "Chicken and Gravy!"
Lisa shook a finger at me and we all laughed.
"How about it tastes like...hmmm, cabbage?" I then said.

I asked my MIL what she thought it tasted like. MIL said it ..."Tastes like Broccoli."

Everyone piped up then and made wild taste comparisons. Lisa finally said, "Well now, I'm not going to eat it anyway so I don't care what it tastes like!"

And so the conversation went. Until it turned into what the activities of the day were.
I went to where the activities were posted and then came back to tell the gals.
Joan was excited about the sing-a-long and then she said goodbye to the rest of the table. John and Larry exited too moving along slowly with their wheelchairs.

The lunchroom excitement was over. Time to exit.

Family Artist!

I visit my MIL about 3 times a week. I usually get there just as she is getting ready to eat her noon meal. This is her best time of the day. Mornings and noon are her alert times.

I've gone at 2pm and sat to talk with her and she generally falls asleep during the conversation. Last time we did that even Charlie couldn't keep her awake.

Anyway I noticed a painting on the side board and asked if the gals had been painting. Joyce at the end of the table said 'Why YES!' and she described her painting in detail and went on and on about the class.

I picked up the painting on the sideboard and asked who it belonged to.
MIL said it was hers. I noted the LE on it plus the numbers 8 and 2. I asked what they meant. August 2nd was the reply.

I asked MIL what was she going to do with it?

She waved her hand and then dove into her Mandarin oranges. "Nothing."
"Can I have it?" I asked.
She finished the oranges and pushed them away.
"It isn't anything special, it isn't even good."

I held it up and said. "It most certainly is! Look! It is a Swallowtail Butterfly on a Zinnia! Just like in my flower garden right now!"

"I'd like to hang it in my house," I told her, "I have the perfect spot for it."

MIL glanced at me and smiled a big smile. "Really?"
I knew from what she had hanging on her walls at her apartment and before that at her house, that this wasn't the sort of thing she would hang on her wall.

"Yes, really."

"You can have it then."

I showed it to Rich when I got home. He liked it too and said how special it was as his mom had done it.
I agreed. For sure it meant even more because his mom had made it.

I had no idea that my MIL could paint. Oh...I know they help them do this in class, but it sure will be a wonderful keepsake for us.

I will have to see if I can go with her to one of these classes if I ever get a free day from running Rich around to PT and appointments.

Oh...here is my art...
Digitally Painted which is much easier than real paint!

See?

I can sort of do it too!

Another lunch date

I sat down with MIL after greeting the 'gang' as I started to think of them. It is funny how I get concerned if one of them doesn't show up. In a nursing home, life tends to feel a bit tenuous.

MIL started out by saying "Hello! Where have you been?" I replied I had been there yesterday and she said "No." Then she looked around and said, "Oh, you were?"
No matter, that is how things progress for her. One day blends into another seamlessly.
On Sunday's visit she'd told me that she was rather upset with the staff and I'd asked her why.

Her explanation was rather intriguing.
"Well," she said glancing sideways, "you have to be a ..." she paused, "...a woman or a MAN to get anything around here! I mean nobody pays me any attention! If I have to go to the bathroom they tell me to use the bathroom in my room! Imagine that! I have to go to my room!"

I nodded, "So you have to be a man or a woman to get the staff's attention." I couldn't help but ask.
"YES, and if I want to go to a meal, they just tell me to go ahead! Nobody gives me a push or takes me there! I want to go home. You take me now."

I wanted to venture a guess that the staff was following doctor's orders... trying to see if she was capable to do things on her own, not being mean. But I just kept my mouth shut. As soon as it was time for her to go to lunch, I asked if she wanted to go.
She immediately said yes, and that I could push her. As I wheeled her to lunch she commented that I didn't drive as fast as most of the people who pushed her.

Monday lunch.
The usual characters.
Lisa was asleep at her end of the table. She kept waking up and dozing off. Then a staff member came in and took her Glucose Reading [away from the table]. Lisa woke up then and started to glance around. She left her lunch and backed up her wheel chair to move over towards John.
John was watching her and trying to negotiate spaghetti and meatballs with his one hand.
She kept inching closer, murmuring to John.

I watched and wondered again about Nursing Home romances. A staff member came up and asked Lisa to leave John alone and go eat her meal please.
My MIL was busy trying to cut up her meatballs. When another staff member put a glass of water, chocolate milk, and coffee in front of her she protested loudly.

"Take that water away! I don't drink water!"
The staff member smiled and said, "Honey, I have to give it to you, it is required."
MIL snorted and shoved the glass with the back of her hand and spilled water all over the table.

Joan perked up from her near slumber at that. "Oh, honey! Drink your water! It is so good for you!"
MIL pushed the glass again and made a face. She turned to me and said, "See? I don't get any attention!"
My usual method is to divert and change the subject when she gets a bit upset and it works pretty well.

I noted that MIL had her bright green jacket that she was sitting on. I inquired if it had been cold. MIL picked up the chocolate pudding and started to scoop it up.
"Yes, it was cold this morning! I had my housecoat on."

She stopped what she was doing and leaned towards me. I think she meant to whisper what she said next, but she didn't. She was actually quite loud. "I peed on it so they had to take it to the laundry and the nice girl got me this jacket out of the closet."
She smiled as if the peeing incident was something quite special and turned her attention back to the chocolate pudding.

I drank some of my bottled water.

Lisa spoke up from the end of the table.
"You know," she said, "my Brother In Law was afraid that I was going to steal his brother from him."

Most of us turned to Lisa.
"I don't know why he thought that," she continued, "he was my husband."

Joan shrugged, MIL ate her pudding, John opened his mouth in a silent laugh, and Lisa returned to eating, only to fall asleep at her spot.

Note: Visiting a nursing home where a loved one is, can and is rewarding. You have to have a grasp of what how to handle your loved one's illnesses are and learn how to deal with things like such as dementia. 
My visits are always rewarding. My MIL is always happy to see me and asks for hugs which I give freely. The other residents thank me for coming to see them at their noon meal.
Most importantly, I listen and don't judge. 
Interestingly enough, each table group is like a small social group. I am often reminded of my high school cafeteria, where all of the cliques sat together and chatted.
I actually look forward to each time I visit and have found that lunch time is the best time. Everyone is more alert.
If you have someone you love in a home. Go visit.
It will be rewarding to the both of you.

One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest..

Anyone remember that movie or the title?

That is what lunch with MIL is like. 5 people at the lunch table getting their bibs on. I help anyone who asks if they'd like help. Conversations are funny. One lady ~ Joan is a literal blabber mouth. She will talk up a storm! She was rather down today, apparently her daughter doesn't come visit often. 

My MIL's provider visited her today. Asked how she was. MIL said "so-so", the doctor asked to listen to her lungs as she had been treated for pneumonia two weeks ago. The doc asked her if her cough got better. MIL looked at her and said "what cough? I wasn't sick!" MIL dove into her orange slices as the doc listened to her lungs. She told MIL she still had a bit of crackle and pop in the lower left lob of her lung. MIL said "do not," and devoured her noodles. 

The doctor asked how was her OT? MIL said "don't have that. I had more of that when I was in my apartment." Doc explained that the OT was going to change her leg wraps more because she was leaking and had wounds and the diuretics to remove the fluid were no longer working as they should.

MIL ignored her and slurped her Shasta then dove into her biscuit. Finally the doctor asked MIL who I was and I identified myself as her daughter in law. The others at the table watched and listened but mostly just were curious as to who the lady with the stethoscope was. 

Joan went on about something about her hands and her daughter and how she didn't want to eat. She laughed. John who sits across from her spent about 4 minutes recapturing the orange slices off his bib with his one good hand. When he did his face came alive with joy! He got the slices into his mouth and 'mouthed' out the word "WOW!"

Then he tried to creep over to Lisa at the end of the table who likes to close her eyes to put food in her mouth. Lisa saw that and turned herself towards him saying, "I'm fat! I have to drink my water before soda! HI John!" She and he crept towards each other. John's wheel chair was locked but he is a big guy and kept lurching it. Lisa and John got hold of each other to .. heck, I don't know what they intended to do...! But I signaled an aide and we got them sorted before one or the other flipped out of their chairs. Lisa proclaimed it was "Good! Nice day. I don't have to eat today, I'm not coming tomorrow." This as she was eating.

Um. The lady next to her Karen... spoke softly then said "Don't be crazy you have to come tomorrow."

"No I don't."

"Yes I do."

John on the other side was making faces. Joan decided she'd had enough and pushed through Karen's backside to leave. Wheelchair bumper car. More aides and we got that sorted.

MIL asked me who that lady was that had just seen her. I said, "Your doctor."

MIL: "Oh no, she isn't. I think my doctor is in Viroqua. And why do they keep changing my room? Every time I leave they move my room!"

I asked if the lunchroom mob would like me to visit tomorrow as their were no activities due to it being 4th of July. I said we could do a wheelchair parade. 

John mimed clapping with one hand. Lisa said she didn't have to come tomorrow...only on Thursdays. Joan was scooting down the hall and Karen said, "Sure but it isn't 4th of July, it is December but it is too hot."

Of course, that made perfect sense.

I got MIL part of the way to her room. I am not allowed to push her if she doesn't have her leg rests in. MIL was upset I had to leave to get Rich. I found someone to let them know she said she'd need help to find her room again. I turned around to leave and ran into John who tried to high five me.

I think MIL's floor is for dementia patients. Now let me say that some days we have the greatest sanest conversations, on other days I am not sure what is going on. 

I really must say that I do love visiting with these folks. One day Lisa took my hand and thanked me for having the courage to come and sit with them as often as I did. To tell you the truth, I kinda dig them. 

So Charlie will have a long walk early in the day, a bath and then I will decorate him with r/w/b spangly bows on his harness and we will go visitin'. It is supposed to be wretched and stormy so why not?

Just as long as they don't keep me.

Catching up busy...

Some infrared photos from this past week

This past week has been a busy one. Appointments at the VA and an appointment for the Subaru.
Struggling to mow the yard on the days when I won't float the mower.
Changing the oil and doing maintenance on the 4 wheeler, the zero turn mower, and working on the tiller. All jobs I that were deferred before to 'the boss'.

Thankfully, my neighbor was been kind enough to spend most of Sunday afternoon showing me how to go through these engines. I learned new terms.
Two cycle and 4 cycle engines. He even found an adjustment on my little mower and it mows better!

Now the yard is shaggy again, but I have my flowers all in and the flowers I wanted seeded...are seeded.
There are family 'things' going on but I choose not to address them on a public blog of course.

 The hill that we normally let the pony graze and keep trimmed. It has

been too wet for that this year. I 

had to hand mow it this last weekend. 

I think it looks nicer mowed than pony

mowed.

 West side of the house. I have some very hardy

plants in here,

and I moved the hosta as it 

never does well in the heat

of the summer.

I added mulch to keep

the moisture in during 

the dry spells.

Not showy flowers, but some interesting

colorful herbs.

One day I may actually put a border

around the edge.

The innards of the 4 wheeler.

It was cutting out so we took it 

apart.

I think it should be okay after

all the work we did.

I put up a hummingbird feeder next to the east window in the eating area. The Hummers are plentiful. Today I'm going to grab an Oriole feeder and put it up as well. They are trying to get into the hummer's feeder and keep landing on the porch and singing to me.

They will only be around until late June, but I would like to enjoy seeing them close up. Besides Rich enjoys seeing them also.

I've been visiting my MIL in the Nursing Home and some days she is really not very with it. Her dementia has progressed or she is confused as she is in the 'home' for now. They ... the care team is considering returning her to her apartment with more help.

Two nurses stopped me yesterday to ask if I could help them come up with an idea to keep her feet up because of her edema.

Such the rebel. MIL puts her feet down as soon as PT/OT leaves the room or one of the nurses or aids. She needs to have them up so that the edema can be controlled. I guess she has trouble figuring out night and day also. 

All this is expected going forward with dementia and her kidney failure. MIL is rather unconcerned about anything other than getting back to her own bed.

On the days I visit, I always call home on my cell phone and let mother and son talk for a while.

I did take some time for myself yesterday and managed to take a nice quiet walk in the dreary weather. I even found more morels!

I'm looking forward to a few more fun things coming up at the end of the month....

Charlie Charlie ... The Chicken

I thought I'd go visit my MIL in the nursing home early Sunday. I gave Charlie a bath and took him along.

I brought puzzle books and a card. I tucked Charlie under my arm as I made my way down the hallways. I was stopped my nearly everyone. Housekeeping, nurses, staff, and residents who wanted to see the 'puppy'. Charlie wagged his tail and loved all the petting.

We finally made it to MIL's room and Charlie greeted her with happy wags as she reached down to pet him. He eventually made it to her lap and laid down.

As MIL complained about the terrible beds, the boredom, and how 'nothing' was happening, her hands kept stroking Charlie's coat.
I've also learned with Alzheimer's that you just go with the flow. She told me repeats of the past few events and I listened. No matter that we'd had this conversation before. Her time line and my time line of events are different and that is okay, we still had a very nice visit.
She told me she was going home the next time she saw a doctor. She wanted to go home and sit in her chair and not be bothered and she wanted very strong pain pills.
I reminded her that he kidneys were so frail that they couldn't handle strong pain pills. She made a face and then I decided I should keep my mouth shut and let the pros handle it.

All the time, she just unconsciously pet Charlie and soon Charlie's eyes were droopy. The only time he looked concerned is when he could hear someone coming down the hallway.

When the visit was over I let Charlie walk down the hall on his leash. He is so low to the ground and has such a funny gate. However, he walked as if he owned the place.
Some housekeeping gals asked if the could pet him. Charlie walked up and sat by their feet while they rubbed his ears and talked to him. His tail swished and he sat still.
At the nurse's station, the gals came out and had to see Charlie. Then the residents in wheelchairs saw him and the crowd began to merge in on us. Charlie walked from one resident to another and sat at their feet if they put their hand down or spoke to him.

One lady insisted he was a Chicken. Well why not? Let Charlie be a Chicken. Ever person smiled. Frail shaking hands gently touched Charlie and Charlie just sat quietly.

How old is he? Asked a nurse.
Just over a year.

Please bring him back again.

We got through the group of residents and started down the hall. Charlie peered into each room to see if there was someone in it. I was told that Charlie could visit if they asked him in.
Funny that he'd pause for a bit at each resident's door and watch them, then move slowly on to the next.

Last stop was outside the lunchroom. More workers came out and all wanted to say hi. Charlie sat and seemed to relish the attention. He didn't wiggle, he didn't whine, he didn't bark. He just was like Charlie Zen.

I've concluded that Charlie has an old soul and really can tell things about people. When he meets most folks he is bubbly and excited but calms down quickly.

He seemed to know that all these folks wanted was to touch him and he seemed content and quiet.
On the ride home, he curled up in his car seat and slept.

Charlie, Chuckie, Charlie, Chicken, Puppy, Doggy, ... whatever name he goes by...he is really something special.

Someone said that Morris must have brought him into our lives.
I wonder....

March Madness

I have no idea of where to start things.

I thought March Madness was meant for the college basketball playoffs or NBA or something like that.

It isn't. It is what is going on here.

Monday and Tuesday were pretty tame. Not much going on. I took Charlie hiking and spent time with Sven and teaching him to come and work on a line.

We went from Frozen to Rain/Frozen overnight on Tuesday evening. Little short video of my sled that I used to take some trash up to the dumpster that my neighbors and I share. Taken with the cell phone but it was pretty funny.

By late afternoon the township truck did come through and sanded the hill.
Rich called his mom and wished her a happy 88th birthday and she was quite chatty and said she'd just had a shower and had to clean up the mess. [This was a big deal as MIL keeps insisting that she only had a shower last week when it has been much much longer than that. I found out later that Helping Hands assisted after months of trying and finally got her showered. MIL tends to come in and out of reality quite a bit.]

The Field Agent from the VA called, I advised her not to drive down our hill and walked up to meet her. Her name was Jane and she was a very pleasant person.
Everything was straightened out and I had worried needlessly.
Jane explained how in some situations the wives of veterans had mistreated their husband's pensions. I was a bit shocked by that. She talked of a situation where the wife took the pension money and bought things for a boyfriend.

The phone rang again and it was MIL. Her sister had passed away and she wanted to go right now to the funeral. Rich had to take her now. Rich tried to explain to his mom that he didn't drive anymore and that he couldn't make the 3 hour drive anyway. Sometimes MIL loses a sense of time and space. So when she says now, she may mean not now. She has no conception of how sick her son really is either.

Meanwhile the rains started in again and the temperatures climbed. Snow and ice began to crash off the roof.

I got another phone call from my step daughter who said she got a text from her Aunt in Utah that MIL's freezer wasn't working properly.
I was confused as to why a message like that had to go half way around the country to come back to me. But I knew how to handle it rather quickly.

I emailed MIL's Guardian to let her know about the issue.

Helping Hands reported back to me that the fridge had not been working for at least a week. They had to toss all of the items in the fridge.

We are working on getting MIL to her sister's funeral that hasn't been planned yet. The rivers are flooding, roads are covered in areas...and the stress hasn't been positive for Rich.

Steph and Steve and the kids are coming this weekend to visit.

I took two time outs yesterday and went to watch the snow melt dash down the rocks and creek. I took my neighbor and the dogs on one of the trips. The dogs played in knee deep snow and slush while we watched the waters tumble down the hillsides and roar into the normally very quiet stream.

I need to get back to catching up on all of the fun animal things from the past few days.
How Charlie and I got stuck in deep snow! How much fun it has been playing with Sven the Goat!

Toodles...