Wednesday, July 03, 2019

One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest..

Anyone remember that movie or the title?
That is what lunch with MIL is like. 5 people at the lunch table getting their bibs on. I help anyone who asks if they'd like help. Conversations are funny. One lady ~ Joan is a literal blabber mouth. She will talk up a storm! She was rather down today, apparently her daughter doesn't come visit often. 
My MIL's provider visited her today. Asked how she was. MIL said "so-so", the doctor asked to listen to her lungs as she had been treated for pneumonia two weeks ago. The doc asked her if her cough got better. MIL looked at her and said "what cough? I wasn't sick!" MIL dove into her orange slices as the doc listened to her lungs. She told MIL she still had a bit of crackle and pop in the lower left lob of her lung. MIL said "do not," and devoured her noodles. 
The doctor asked how was her OT? MIL said "don't have that. I had more of that when I was in my apartment." Doc explained that the OT was going to change her leg wraps more because she was leaking and had wounds and the diuretics to remove the fluid were no longer working as they should.
MIL ignored her and slurped her Shasta then dove into her biscuit. Finally the doctor asked MIL who I was and I identified myself as her daughter in law. The others at the table watched and listened but mostly just were curious as to who the lady with the stethoscope was. 
Joan went on about something about her hands and her daughter and how she didn't want to eat. She laughed. John who sits across from her spent about 4 minutes recapturing the orange slices off his bib with his one good hand. When he did his face came alive with joy! He got the slices into his mouth and 'mouthed' out the word "WOW!"
Then he tried to creep over to Lisa at the end of the table who likes to close her eyes to put food in her mouth. Lisa saw that and turned herself towards him saying, "I'm fat! I have to drink my water before soda! HI John!" She and he crept towards each other. John's wheel chair was locked but he is a big guy and kept lurching it. Lisa and John got hold of each other to .. heck, I don't know what they intended to do...! But I signaled an aide and we got them sorted before one or the other flipped out of their chairs. Lisa proclaimed it was "Good! Nice day. I don't have to eat today, I'm not coming tomorrow." This as she was eating.
Um. The lady next to her Karen... spoke softly then said "Don't be crazy you have to come tomorrow."
"No I don't."
"Yes I do."
John on the other side was making faces. Joan decided she'd had enough and pushed through Karen's backside to leave. Wheelchair bumper car. More aides and we got that sorted.
MIL asked me who that lady was that had just seen her. I said, "Your doctor."
MIL: "Oh no, she isn't. I think my doctor is in Viroqua. And why do they keep changing my room? Every time I leave they move my room!"
I asked if the lunchroom mob would like me to visit tomorrow as their were no activities due to it being 4th of July. I said we could do a wheelchair parade. 
John mimed clapping with one hand. Lisa said she didn't have to come tomorrow...only on Thursdays. Joan was scooting down the hall and Karen said, "Sure but it isn't 4th of July, it is December but it is too hot."
Of course, that made perfect sense.
I got MIL part of the way to her room. I am not allowed to push her if she doesn't have her leg rests in. MIL was upset I had to leave to get Rich. I found someone to let them know she said she'd need help to find her room again. I turned around to leave and ran into John who tried to high five me.

I think MIL's floor is for dementia patients. Now let me say that some days we have the greatest sanest conversations, on other days I am not sure what is going on. 
I really must say that I do love visiting with these folks. One day Lisa took my hand and thanked me for having the courage to come and sit with them as often as I did. To tell you the truth, I kinda dig them. 
So Charlie will have a long walk early in the day, a bath and then I will decorate him with r/w/b spangly bows on his harness and we will go visitin'. It is supposed to be wretched and stormy so why not?
Just as long as they don't keep me.


3 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:35 AM

    That is so funny! Been there too - for ten years with Mother. A sense of humor about it would have saved me lots of trips to the Dairy Queen. Now going through it with my older brother and this reinforces my need to stay mentally sharp. I did figure out that his confusion about his changing birthday was his changing age. It's funny, but not during the actual conversation.

    The residents will love the wheelchair parade with you and Charlie leading it. Have a good time.

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    1. I went today as they asked. LOL. 2pm is evidently slumber time. However all the staff had to pet Charlie. I learned early with MIL that things slip and it is never worth arguing about as most of the time it makes perfect sense to them so it must be just fine.

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  2. Yes they need after lunch naps! I so identify with the conversations. take some homemade bread and butter and you will be a forever friend :)

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