Wait you did WHAT?

I often have to wait for hubby to do something. 

He says I'm going to: ___________ fill in the blank. It is something he needs assistance with because he can no longer do it.

He then will sit down for a bit while I get the ___________ ready. His next move is to proclaim that he is tired and he needs a nap before ___________ing. I'm stuck. He needs to get this done and he puts things off and off and off and ... off. Ask him to get moving and the petulant child rises up and he trundles off to the bedroom and lays down. Another tactic is to ask for a cup of coffee and then sit with the cup for a half hour and not say a word.

I'm not going to get into what _________ was. Just know that it can refer to everything...EXCEPT eating. If it is something regarding eating, he gets to the table OR asks loudly from the other room. *What's for supper, what's for lunch?* You get the idea. Meals? Right now please as if I am a short order cook. 

Meh. Calling me a Cook is really quite the fallacy. I'd rather be a princess.

So during my time periods where I have to sit and wait for him, I generally do some research into something like flowers. What kind of flowers would I like to plant? What kind of flowers would I like to photograph? Which flowers attract butterflies?

And how on earth do some of those photographers get such incredible and ethereal shots? Some photographers use special lenses such as a Helios or a Lensbaby. There are also something called the Sigma Art lens. 

I look at tutorials and sigh at some of the incredible shots these pros take. I don't want to purchase any of those lenses. But I'd like to figure out how to do some of those incredible shots with just a regular lens.

One tutorial suggested some great tips. I know the tips she suggested, but it never hurts to review them after a long winter. Isolate the subject, find a spot of interest, watch the lighting, and a bit of cloud cover is helpful.

Then YouTube suggests another video with 'lens hacks'. I'm curious so I watch it. The guy suggests an interesting idea. Or a horrifying idea!

He suggests putting Vaseline on the lens. It creates a a soft vignette with a lot of bokeh on the edges of the photo.

OH no. Nope Nope Nope.

I watch another tutorial. This guy suggests putting a sandwich bag over the lens to create a soft focus. I try it and it just seems like I'm taking a soft shot. But it is pretty interesting and the photograph he takes looks like Orton Photography.

What if... I place Saran Wrap over the lens and use a hair tie to hold it in place?

And then? What if I use Vaseline on top of the Saran Wrap? 

I pulled the wrap tight and held it with a hair tie. I went outside to take any shot just to see what the results would be.

I couldn't find a flower to photograph but I did find an old Creeping Charlie leaf sticking up near the spring garden.

I was surprised by the circles of light that appeared. They were obviously from the Vaseline. Shooting into the light wasn't really the best thing to do.

So I tried something else.

The effect was pretty neat. The shot through the wrap and the Vaseline did provide a bit of glow around the subjects. This is exactly as I shot it without any touch ups. 

So now I'm wondering how I can use this trick again more effectively.

Another video showed a photographer using a plastic bag like the kind you get when you purchase groceries. She poked holes in the bag over the center of the lens and shot through it. The result was a milky soft looking vignette around her subject.

As I said this is what I am doing while waiting. Waiting for the other half to get ready to do you know...something. 

This isn't always the case. Sometimes the ___________ can be put off until another time. 

This behavior is in his DNA so to speak. Even when he didn't suffer from dementia, he would drag his feet if we had to do something on schedule. I am that person that shows up to a meeting 15 minutes ahead of time. He was that person that figured he'd just show up on 'whatever' time.

I finally gave up. I turned to my photo table and decided to just occupy myself with portraits of two Lego Gym Characters.

No Vaseline, no bags, nothing fancy. Just a piece of foggy plastic with a light under it and my CrossFit Viroqua water bottle behind them.

I thought about the Stud Shooters Challenge of Bad Weather and tried to figure out how to use Vaseline across the bottom of the lens to produce a foggy effect and Baking Soda to create snow.

It was a failure. I spread Vaseline on the bottom of the lens and then used Baking Soda smeared onto the Vaseline to create a fog effect. In retrospect, the Vaseline and the Baking Soda should have taken up most of the lower half of the lens.

However, one experiments and learns. Failure is part of learning.

So yeah. I am experimenting with Saran Wrap, Vaseline, and Baking Soda on a lens. 

Crazy, right?

Yep.

I had to quit because the other half got up and proclaimed that HE was not going to do _____________. And he'd wait until tomorrow.

Well. Tomorrow will come and I'll pull some more patience out of the air somewhere.

But now I have some cool ideas to try.

I can't wait for some spring flowers to appear so I can try these odd and weird methods on them.