Silence ~ But I can do better!

I live with a person who has several health issues and dementia. Some days are quiet and pretty darned boring. Those are really the better days. Then there are the days that something gets his ire up and well it can get rather tense.

The other day I was watering the large heated stock tank. The outdoor hydrant is above the house on a hillside. I use about 200 feet of construction strength black hose to run water to the stock tank which is plugged in on the porch of the house. I separate the hoses and drain them in the winter. Gravity is such a great helper. Once in the past 5 years I've had one hose ice up on me. 

I separate the hoses by the LP tank. You can see how the slope works in my favor.

The tank fills with very little work most of the time. The two mules that need special feeding requirements are kept separate from the younger mules. Fred the pony mule is 35. Mica is the grey mule. She is has heaves when it is dry and dusty and is a hard keeper. Mica is also blind in one eye. I still ride Mica and put kids on her even though she is our tallest mule. She has a very kind disposition and is very gentle.

So I finished watering, picked feet, and gave everyone except Fred a nice hug and some ear rubs. Fred is anti social and doesn't like being caught.

I wrapped things up and headed to the house. Rich had been watching from the porch door. When I got inside he proceeded to give me a very stern lecture on 'how to drain the hoses properly'. I had the angle wrong somehow and I left footprints and divots in the snow which made the hose freeze up.

He even showed me how to hold the hose properly along with how to walk. It went on and on and on. 

I internally rolled my eyes and then in a moment of stupidity blurted out. "I've been doing this for over 5 years and I've only frozen up the hose one other time during the other Polar Vortex a couple of years ago. It will be 40 today. The hoses will be just fine."

His retort was quick and sudden and a bit nasty. He turned and crossed his arms in a huff.

I realized instantly that I his time frames were confused. In his mind he'd just helped me with it not too long ago. 

He was also stressed out because the program he'd been binge watching had ended. And he was frustrated because somewhere in his mind that he was no longer out there doing simple things like draining the hose.

His punishment was the Silent Treatment. He tossed the remote and and sat on the couch. He stared at the wall arms crossed and breathing in big sighs. After about a half hour, he got up and went to take a nap.

I understand mental health issues a bit. I am a lay person who lives with it. I married a person with it. I don't have any regrets. But there are days when even I can't deal with it and I take my Angel Hat and toss it aside.

However, I grew up in a household where Mom was the Expert at Silent Treatment. She could've taught a Master's Class in Silence and exasperated looks.
I knew I shouldn't engage in it, but I did.

I plugged my earphones into my smarty phone and dialed in Pandora. Mom was the expert and I learned from her. My Mom had some mental health issues too, so I'd learned from the expert. My poor dad, I don't think he ever could understand Mom.

Silence feels like a superpower. It is a very powerful weapon. Sooner or later hubby would need help with the TV or he would want supper. I rolled these things over in my mind and decided that I'd break his silence as soon as he got up from his nap.
After all, I should be the better person in this as I am caring for him.

There is no arguing with Dementia. I discovered that with his mom. Let them rant, let them tell you what is what and simply move on. Hard to do when you literally live in close proximity.

After his nap, he wasn't having anything to do with breaking Silence. He stood with the remote and kept clicking through programs and sighing loudly. I let him.

I started to bake chocolate chip cookies. Our cottage/house is very tiny. Pretty quick, he entered the kitchen and stood.

"Whatchya doing?"

Me: Baking cookies.

Him: Didjya fall on your head? [His joke at any attempt by me at baking.]

Me: Must have.

Him: Let me have some.

Me: Okay. Can I help you find a program?

Him: Yes please.

The Silent Treatment broken and things back on an even keel.

Stay At Home is not new to me

When we were kids, mom packed us up in the car a few days after school let out and we made a long drive 'Up North' to spend the summer in a small cottage on the same property as my Grandparents, Fred and Pearl.

From our cottage you could not see any other house other than Grandma and Grandpa's place. My Uncle and wife...and kids for a time lived on Grandpa's old place. We could walk there to play with cousins.

At first, my Grandparents had a party line for their phone. It was a few years later that you could actually dial direct. I recall sitting in the their kitchen and Grandpa getting on the party line to catch up on the gossip going around.

It was the Facebook of the early 60's!

Grandma cooked on a woodstove. We had an electric stove in our cottage.
Grandpa had a tiny TV that was black and white...I think. At first I thought summer programming only consisted of baseball games.

I can recall my sister and I playing crazy eights and keeping a score for the whole summer. We used the back of old envelopes as to never waste a piece of paper.

A game we played

...higher

and 

higher.

I'm the one leaping over the stick.

We created games to play and rarely told anyone 'there is nothing to do!' No TV, no real radio, no electronics. Just a lot of imagination and self entertaining.

So now we are are in what some people are calling a 'lockdown'. Well, it is a stay at home order. Or as our Governor says #SaferatHome. He softened the words.

We can go to local state and county parks, walk our dogs or other pets. Playgrounds are closed.
It hasn't affected me that much. Last week I was stressed out as I'd gotten into a routine going to CrossFit each day.

This week? My mind has turned to tasks at hand. Fencing, clearing burdock plants, worming the equine, figuring out how to trim feet on my own. Clearing the garden of weeds, fixing a flat tire on the lawn mower....

And I am doing it. I have buckled down and redone the front pasture just as I thought it should be done. And it works better than ever before...but just don't tell Rich!
I actually sat down and drew it all out on paper first. I spent a whole afternoon working on it. When done, I kept the drawings and stuck them in my journal. My drawings suck, but they are reminders of how I am learning to help myself get through a problem by working it out visually on paper instead.

We had a funny conversation the other morning.

Him: Can you shoot squirrel?
Me: Of course I can.
Him: Times get tough, you'll need to get us squirrel.
Me: Okay but I'm not sure how to clean it.
Him: I'll talk you through it.
...He winks.

I have eaten squirrel. I've even had mystery meat in a burger that Grandma cooked on a 'Smokey Joe' that my mom had brought for grilling while we were there for the summer.

I'm settled into a good routine now and don't miss the outside world that much ... like I did last week.
I have jobs to do.


And oh...so much more. The shed is waiting its next organizing effort too.

I did find skunk cabbage today on our walk.

Distance Hike

So my friend Mr. Bill was desperate to get OUT of the house and yard to do something different.

I texted him Friday morning and said I was still going for the 3 mile hill hike at about 1pm if he cared to join me.
He replied that even though it was cold and windy, he'd go.

We kept our distance from each other and I took him on the tour of our hills, valleys, and creeks. We crossed our little creek and he inquired if it ran down to join Readscreek and I found myself explaining our 'watershed' to him. I also told him that the locals, the old locals [as we are old ourselves] called Readscreek ... Blackbottom.

When we got to the old logging road above the Back Valley he stopped and stared and was in awe. I asked him if he wanted to go down and walk along the stream and he said YES!
I informed him that we would be doing some stream hopping and rock jumping. He said fine.

I remarked that all the balance activities we did in CrossFit really applied well to light jumps over rocks to criss cross the creek. Plus the steep hillsides were excellent leg and cardio workouts.

Bill asked me how the heck I didn't get turned around in this vast 'wilderness'. I said at first I did but that was 26 years ago and I'd been exploring this acreage ever since I'd moved to the area. I felt like I knew every rock and tree. I certainly knew just about every trail made by the 4 wheelers and the deer.

When I guided him to the edge of the largest ravine/dry run on the land and had him look down he simply just stood there.

And all he could say over and over is 'Wow!'

He went on about what a great place this was to explore and I reminded him that it still was private property but the owner let me have free run of the place and in a way I felt like it was my own playground/backyard. Especially since I've been exploring this land and mine for all these years.

This was a very safe way to socialize and practice social distancing. We didn't have to drive in separate cars to the Kickapoo Valley Reserve, and we could maintain our distance and walk right out back, so to speak.

I had another person ask me if she could come over and go with me. I'm not sure about that. She has 5 children.
I'm certainly going to think long and hard about it.

I want to be polite but also safe. Open air hiking is encouraged but I think now they are recommending no one outside of your household.

That would just mean...Charlie and I.
Oh and Sven.

Things feel surreal.

New and different

So for my Master Naturalist Class, we had to have a daily...or weekly journal of things observed including birds, insects, wild life, ...you get the idea.

I purchased a nice book with pages of 100lb paper stock weight so I could past photos of observations.
That came to a screeching halt last Sunday as the classes are cancelled.

I glued in the last photos I'd taken and decided to continue anyway and make it a personal journal as I used to keep one from Junior year in high school until I started a blog.

I find that getting OFF the internet is satisfying in so many ways. I won't be pasting any photos in the book for a long time now. I may resort to drawing again!

I think this will be my personal thoughts and observations for the duration of this Pandemic. Just notes, temps, observations, and random thoughts...that is good enough for me...
and it keeps me away from reading all that horrid news.

I've also decided to see what I had on hand and be a bit creative when I have to be quiet while hubby is napping and it is pouring cats and dogs outside.

Eventually spring will appear -- this morning it is snowing and blowing after an inch of rain yesterday.

The daffy's are trying to poke up in the yard and the tulips are making an appearance.

In the woods the leeks are poking up also.

I found some nettles sprouting and will gather them to add to our vegetables or make some tea.

As soon as I get another good sunny day I will be hunting wild parsnips in the valley. They are hard to clean, a pain to chop up and prepare, but taste wonderful when sauteed.

We are practicing isolation here. Yesterday I took Charlie to the vet and he got his shots updated. The vet was wearing a mask and gloves. Her eyes looked tired and wary.
It was an awkward situation. Normally she and her staff are so cheery and outgoing. Yesterday it was obvious that I was seen as a possible infection. I asked her if she was going to close down and she avoided my eyes and said..."It's and hour by hour situation."

I dropped by the feed store and picked up Senior Feed for the elder mules. The Ag guy and I too kept our distances. I said thanks and hopefully I'd see him again..and stay well.

Our community is however doing great things in town. Neighbors texting neighbors, "I'm going to the store? Can I get you something?"
The bike brigade taking meals to the elderly and leaving the meals at their doors.

McDonalds in town giving meals to children between the hours of 11 and 2pm. Free meals.

I'm proud of our rural community.

This afternoon a neighbor will come over and we will hike the neighboring land together. We will be out and distanced but still able to exchange conversation. Human contact is important.

In the mean time. My bathtub is now sparkling! Dust has been banished from all surfaces.
I'm actually trying to plan meals.

I'm looking forward to foraging.

The old mule will be my pack animal.
Life is different, but doable.

Our CrossFit community has set up a Zoom thing? We can all get on line and see each other at 5pm each day? I'm going to try that.

I'm also grateful that my MIL is now in a home. It is the safest place she can be in right now.

And this extra time will allow me to explore some more digital art.

Hope you are all well.

Stay safe.

Yikes and Coronavirus

Maybe the CrossFit shake up happened at a good time? Most of our group of maniacs are finding small ways to work out in the outdoors doing WOD's and adding fun things like car pushing, feed sack carries, and other fun things.

Small groups of as little as two are doing work outs together when they ...can as we wait for the next step ...and there is something in motion for that.

Our Coach has sent out workouts to do at home with no equipment! Very cool stuff. It takes real dedication to do that.

But in the face of the Coronavirus epidemic, pandemic, or sickness.
Working out at home, working from home, staying home, are all choices we have to think about.
I am pretty darned lucky to be able at this time to stay home and we are lucky that we are 'isolated' in a way.
We live in a very rural area.
That is not going to stop me from hiking. It won't stop me from enjoying the outside as much as I can now that the weather is nicer. But it did make me look at how my mom and Grandmother always had food stocked in dry form, canned form, or frozen form.
I used to joke that our family could survive the 'worst' case scenario.

Mom had learned from WWII and rationing. I think Grandma understood it well too after living through the 1918 pandemic, the Great Depression, and WWII.

Am I over reacting? Possibly!
But we got notification that the Nursing Homes are in 'lockdown' locally. School field trips are being cancelled. So is it over reaction? I live with an individual with compromised health. The regular flu could kill him. So why not take precautions?

The local VA clinics and the hospitals now have patients line up in the parking lot as they do screening before you enter for an appointment. They are asking patients to do video visits for common colds.
Any time I walk through the VA clinics I feel a bit cautious for my hubby. So many people with masks and without masks, a person just needs to look around to see the large population of very vulnerable elderly veterans.

So what to do?
Well.
Simple, but not so simple.

I will try to carry on with my more or less normal life. Continue with Master's Class. I will ask them if they have prepared for this scenario.

And wonder. Is this Coronavirus being overblown? Is it not?
Prepare in case?

What will happen to our economy? What will happen to people like my son and his wife who can't work from home?

We are entering a new and uncharted territory.

Things could get very interesting.