Good Day!

Yesterday was one of those days that started off where I was tired, grumpy, and just not a very nice person.
The day was dreary and ugly.

I skipped CrossFit since I was so tired and decided to do some other things. I thought I'd try going with the Christmas Cards again to the Nursing Home to see MIL. Perhaps she would be in a better mood and want to sign a few so I could send them out for her.

I'd contacted Rich's doctor and we exchanged thoughts through Secure Messaging. Doc is going to think on things and talk to some others. He feels depression is a huge issue but since the stroke Rich has become hyper sensitive to medications. Plus he'll see the results of last week's brain MRI are and what neurology has to offer.

So I did my errands and headed over to the Nursing Home. I was armed with Hershey Kisses and Cards and addresses. MIL was in a much better mood than last week and agreed to do cards. I think the candy bribe helped.

I put up the 3 cards she had received and talked to the staff. They said I could decorate her room more if I'd like. I will do that too.
MIL and I sat together for over and hour as I went through a list of names of people in her immediate family.

At one point she grabbed a card and handed it to me. She said, "This goes to Rich and Val...you will mail it for me, right?" I nodded and took it, telling her 'of course I will!'

We had quite a nice little stack by the time we were done and she was tired out. So I helped her to her easy chair and packed up. Rich was napping when I got home so I took time to take Sven and Charlie for a walk.

After supper I settled down to address all of the cards and write notes in them. I even posted on FB a request for MIL's relatives to PM me for an address so we could fill up her bulletin board with pretty cards.

I don't understand the way so many people in a nursing facility seem to be the hidden and forgotten people.
It just makes me sad.

However, MIL and I really did have a nice time.

And she is well cared for here.

I texted a this photo of her doing cards to her daughter and grand daughter. I got a huge thank you from the grand daughter and the daughter started asking me in short bursts of texts...
Did you get ... so and so?
Did you get ...
and after 8 texts of names [of people I don't know but who are relatives]...

I texted her back that no we didn't, but SHE could contact those relatives and ask them to send her mom a card as that surely would make her day and help decorate her room.

I really felt great after finishing those cards up. And I even slept all night last night!
I'm ready for this new day.

And I will go back Friday to decorate MIL's room a bit more.

Tomorrow we have to be up and out the door before daybreak to meet with the neurosurgeon regarding the results of the brain MRI.
Rich was feeling a bit more himself yesterday and even sat down to watch something with me before going to bed early.

I slept on the couch with Charlie and it was a nice sound night of sleep!

The Lefse event at the Nursing Home

While at CrossFit yesterday morning, one of the young ladies I work out with told me that there was 'Lefse Making' at the home where my MIL is at, was I going to come?
Since it was snowing and blowing and most of my 'to do' list was complete, I said I'd go.

I woke Lenise up when I got to her room and sat with her while she slowly gained her senses.
She said she was tired, I replied that they were doing a Lefse making 'thing' down in the cafeteria and that I'd come special, just to spend the afternoon with her.

Success! I got her out of bed, slippers and glasses put on... and off we went. We wheeled into the cafeteria as the Lefse Ladies were starting to roll out the dough.

Lefse dough consists of pounds and pounds of potatoes peeled and cooked then run through a ricer. Hmm, easier to provide a link than it is to explain it since I am not a baking person.

Sons of Norway: Lefse Making

I parked Lenise so that she could see the ladies rolling out the dough and using the stick to transfer it to the grill thing. Pretty soon we had a table of four residents all trying to make conversation.

I passed out coffee to the ladies and tried to field questions.

Mary told everyone and anyone who was there that she liked the Packers and that she was from Green Bay and she was of German descent. Mabel was worried that she was at the wrong table and didn't know us. It seemed to bother her a lot.
Lorraine announced that she didn't recognize anyone and that was okay because she was pretty sure that we were okay.
Lenise told the girls that she lived in an apartment in town in Viroqua. Then said she had an apartment in Readstown. Minutes later she told them she had a room at the Home just like them.

I recently finished a very good book Where Memories Go: Why Dementia Changes Everything by Sally Magnusson.
It is an incredible account of travelling through the world of her mom's dementia with a daughter and her family. I've been reading and doing a bit of research. It really has helped me understand and not fear visiting the home or being uncomfortable around those who do have different stages of dementia.

Mable [not her real name] was really quite put out at not being at her normal cafeteria table. I'd be busy listening to the others talk and I'd watch her out of the corner of my eye. She kept rearranging an empty spot on the table over and over. She reached over and picked up a napkin and asked me to read it to her.
I asked her to help me with it.
Mabel said, "It is signed Olga [something...I couldn't make out what she said]." She handed me the napkin and I studied it for a moment and said, "Yes it does!"
She nodded and put it back on the table.

Lorraine pulled on my arm and I squatted next to her. She asked who I was and I told her that I was Lenise's daughter in law.
Lorraine looked at me and asked, "Do you know my mother?"
I answered no.
She said, "My mother said she'd be here. I don't see her, will you watch for her?"
I said sure...

Mabel reached into the center of the table for a little white pumpkin decoration and picked it up. She oohed and ahhed over it for a moment and then announced it was a cupcake.
She shoved it to her mouth and tried to bite it. The other ladies told her 'No!' while I gently pried it from her and set it out of her reach.
"But I want that donut!" she said.

The table conversation was in fits and starts. Lenise would ask Mabel a question and Mabel would stare off into the distance. Lorraine would say something and Lenise would answer. Mary would jump in with her mantra regarding the Green Bay Packers.
Mabel suddenly pointed to an empty spot on the table and asked, "Do you see that? It is so bright and pretty!"
Her hands lifted and her eyes followed something up to the cafeteria ceiling.
"Look look," she kept saying, "it is so pretty! Do you see it?"

See here is where a bit of understanding comes into play. Arguing with Mabel wouldn't have done anyone any good. Lorraine looked up and then asked me if I'd seen her mother again.
Mary gazed off into the distance.
Lenise looked up and then said to Mabel, "Did you spill spaghetti on the floor?"

However Mabel was entranced by her vision of something beautiful and her face was absolutely at peace and full of joy.

Lorraine asked me for some more coffee. Mabel asked me who I was. Mary left. And so it went with snippets of conversation around watching the ladies make Lefse.

I finally asked Lenise if she'd like to go back to her room. I had a few things to get done in town and needed to get home for chores and supper. As far as I was concerned, Lenise had a very good day. She was pretty sharp. We tooled down the hallway and when I got to the end she pointed the way to her room.

I stopped to turn her into the doorway and she pointed to her name and room number.
"See!" she said, "there is my name and number. They keep moving my room and putting my name on so many doors!"
No use in correcting her.
I ask where she'd like to Park and she points.
"Is this the same room that you got me from?" she asks.
"Yes ma'am," I reply, "there is your afghan!" I reach out and straighten it out.
"Don't bother 'they' left it like that when they moved me," she says.

I think this may be her way of being a little upset when she knows I'm going to leave. I'm not sure. I sit on her bed and take her hand then tell her I'll come again.
Small consolation, I think to myself. I hug her and gather my coat and things.

I look over my shoulder as I leave her room and she is staring at the wall her hands in her lap.

I feel my heart squeezed a bit and... then turn to go brave the cold snowy world and return home to take care of Rich.

Molly the nurse stopped me outside in the hallway and asked if I 'get a break' from CareGiving. I smile and shake my head.

"You know how families can be," I reply, "I'm not bitter or angry. Just sad that the family is losing such precious moments like those I get to have."

It Tastes LIKE...

Well, you fill in the blanks!

I walked in to the nursing home cafeteria and MIL was pushing her plate around. The others were eating quietly but brightened up when I said 'Howdy my friends!'

I asked what they were having and everyone told me something different.
Lisa said, "Biscuits and Gravy."
Joan said, "Pork and Gravy." She gave Lisa a sideways glance and rolled her eyes.
John didn't say but just waved one hand that held the mystery meat and gravy and slid it to his mouth with a smile.
MIL said, "Chicken and Gravy!"
Larry remained silent. He is the new 'kid' at the table and I don't think he really feels comfortable with the others.

On the other side of the cafeteria/lunchroom, one of the aides asked the person she was helping, "Don't you like Thanksgiving? This is Turkey and Gravy!"

I announced that I thought it might be Turkey and Gravy along with peas, carrots, and potatoes and bread pudding. I got nods around the table and then Lisa asked out of the blue.
"So what does broccoli taste like?"
It was directed at me and I looked over at Joan who was rolling her eyes once more.

"Well," I said, "Chicken and Gravy!"
Lisa shook a finger at me and we all laughed.
"How about it tastes like...hmmm, cabbage?" I then said.

I asked my MIL what she thought it tasted like. MIL said it ..."Tastes like Broccoli."

Everyone piped up then and made wild taste comparisons. Lisa finally said, "Well now, I'm not going to eat it anyway so I don't care what it tastes like!"

And so the conversation went. Until it turned into what the activities of the day were.
I went to where the activities were posted and then came back to tell the gals.
Joan was excited about the sing-a-long and then she said goodbye to the rest of the table. John and Larry exited too moving along slowly with their wheelchairs.

The lunchroom excitement was over. Time to exit.

Family Artist!

I visit my MIL about 3 times a week. I usually get there just as she is getting ready to eat her noon meal. This is her best time of the day. Mornings and noon are her alert times.

I've gone at 2pm and sat to talk with her and she generally falls asleep during the conversation. Last time we did that even Charlie couldn't keep her awake.

Anyway I noticed a painting on the side board and asked if the gals had been painting. Joyce at the end of the table said 'Why YES!' and she described her painting in detail and went on and on about the class.

I picked up the painting on the sideboard and asked who it belonged to.
MIL said it was hers. I noted the LE on it plus the numbers 8 and 2. I asked what they meant. August 2nd was the reply.

I asked MIL what was she going to do with it?

She waved her hand and then dove into her Mandarin oranges. "Nothing."
"Can I have it?" I asked.
She finished the oranges and pushed them away.
"It isn't anything special, it isn't even good."

I held it up and said. "It most certainly is! Look! It is a Swallowtail Butterfly on a Zinnia! Just like in my flower garden right now!"

"I'd like to hang it in my house," I told her, "I have the perfect spot for it."

MIL glanced at me and smiled a big smile. "Really?"
I knew from what she had hanging on her walls at her apartment and before that at her house, that this wasn't the sort of thing she would hang on her wall.

"Yes, really."

"You can have it then."

I showed it to Rich when I got home. He liked it too and said how special it was as his mom had done it.
I agreed. For sure it meant even more because his mom had made it.

I had no idea that my MIL could paint. Oh...I know they help them do this in class, but it sure will be a wonderful keepsake for us.

I will have to see if I can go with her to one of these classes if I ever get a free day from running Rich around to PT and appointments.

Oh...here is my art...
Digitally Painted which is much easier than real paint!

See?

I can sort of do it too!

Another lunch date

I sat down with MIL after greeting the 'gang' as I started to think of them. It is funny how I get concerned if one of them doesn't show up. In a nursing home, life tends to feel a bit tenuous.

MIL started out by saying "Hello! Where have you been?" I replied I had been there yesterday and she said "No." Then she looked around and said, "Oh, you were?"
No matter, that is how things progress for her. One day blends into another seamlessly.
On Sunday's visit she'd told me that she was rather upset with the staff and I'd asked her why.

Her explanation was rather intriguing.
"Well," she said glancing sideways, "you have to be a ..." she paused, "...a woman or a MAN to get anything around here! I mean nobody pays me any attention! If I have to go to the bathroom they tell me to use the bathroom in my room! Imagine that! I have to go to my room!"

I nodded, "So you have to be a man or a woman to get the staff's attention." I couldn't help but ask.
"YES, and if I want to go to a meal, they just tell me to go ahead! Nobody gives me a push or takes me there! I want to go home. You take me now."

I wanted to venture a guess that the staff was following doctor's orders... trying to see if she was capable to do things on her own, not being mean. But I just kept my mouth shut. As soon as it was time for her to go to lunch, I asked if she wanted to go.
She immediately said yes, and that I could push her. As I wheeled her to lunch she commented that I didn't drive as fast as most of the people who pushed her.

Monday lunch.
The usual characters.
Lisa was asleep at her end of the table. She kept waking up and dozing off. Then a staff member came in and took her Glucose Reading [away from the table]. Lisa woke up then and started to glance around. She left her lunch and backed up her wheel chair to move over towards John.
John was watching her and trying to negotiate spaghetti and meatballs with his one hand.
She kept inching closer, murmuring to John.

I watched and wondered again about Nursing Home romances. A staff member came up and asked Lisa to leave John alone and go eat her meal please.
My MIL was busy trying to cut up her meatballs. When another staff member put a glass of water, chocolate milk, and coffee in front of her she protested loudly.

"Take that water away! I don't drink water!"
The staff member smiled and said, "Honey, I have to give it to you, it is required."
MIL snorted and shoved the glass with the back of her hand and spilled water all over the table.

Joan perked up from her near slumber at that. "Oh, honey! Drink your water! It is so good for you!"
MIL pushed the glass again and made a face. She turned to me and said, "See? I don't get any attention!"
My usual method is to divert and change the subject when she gets a bit upset and it works pretty well.

I noted that MIL had her bright green jacket that she was sitting on. I inquired if it had been cold. MIL picked up the chocolate pudding and started to scoop it up.
"Yes, it was cold this morning! I had my housecoat on."

She stopped what she was doing and leaned towards me. I think she meant to whisper what she said next, but she didn't. She was actually quite loud. "I peed on it so they had to take it to the laundry and the nice girl got me this jacket out of the closet."
She smiled as if the peeing incident was something quite special and turned her attention back to the chocolate pudding.

I drank some of my bottled water.

Lisa spoke up from the end of the table.
"You know," she said, "my Brother In Law was afraid that I was going to steal his brother from him."

Most of us turned to Lisa.
"I don't know why he thought that," she continued, "he was my husband."

Joan shrugged, MIL ate her pudding, John opened his mouth in a silent laugh, and Lisa returned to eating, only to fall asleep at her spot.

Note: Visiting a nursing home where a loved one is, can and is rewarding. You have to have a grasp of what how to handle your loved one's illnesses are and learn how to deal with things like such as dementia. 
My visits are always rewarding. My MIL is always happy to see me and asks for hugs which I give freely. The other residents thank me for coming to see them at their noon meal.
Most importantly, I listen and don't judge. 
Interestingly enough, each table group is like a small social group. I am often reminded of my high school cafeteria, where all of the cliques sat together and chatted.
I actually look forward to each time I visit and have found that lunch time is the best time. Everyone is more alert.
If you have someone you love in a home. Go visit.
It will be rewarding to the both of you.

One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest..

Anyone remember that movie or the title?

That is what lunch with MIL is like. 5 people at the lunch table getting their bibs on. I help anyone who asks if they'd like help. Conversations are funny. One lady ~ Joan is a literal blabber mouth. She will talk up a storm! She was rather down today, apparently her daughter doesn't come visit often. 

My MIL's provider visited her today. Asked how she was. MIL said "so-so", the doctor asked to listen to her lungs as she had been treated for pneumonia two weeks ago. The doc asked her if her cough got better. MIL looked at her and said "what cough? I wasn't sick!" MIL dove into her orange slices as the doc listened to her lungs. She told MIL she still had a bit of crackle and pop in the lower left lob of her lung. MIL said "do not," and devoured her noodles. 

The doctor asked how was her OT? MIL said "don't have that. I had more of that when I was in my apartment." Doc explained that the OT was going to change her leg wraps more because she was leaking and had wounds and the diuretics to remove the fluid were no longer working as they should.

MIL ignored her and slurped her Shasta then dove into her biscuit. Finally the doctor asked MIL who I was and I identified myself as her daughter in law. The others at the table watched and listened but mostly just were curious as to who the lady with the stethoscope was. 

Joan went on about something about her hands and her daughter and how she didn't want to eat. She laughed. John who sits across from her spent about 4 minutes recapturing the orange slices off his bib with his one good hand. When he did his face came alive with joy! He got the slices into his mouth and 'mouthed' out the word "WOW!"

Then he tried to creep over to Lisa at the end of the table who likes to close her eyes to put food in her mouth. Lisa saw that and turned herself towards him saying, "I'm fat! I have to drink my water before soda! HI John!" She and he crept towards each other. John's wheel chair was locked but he is a big guy and kept lurching it. Lisa and John got hold of each other to .. heck, I don't know what they intended to do...! But I signaled an aide and we got them sorted before one or the other flipped out of their chairs. Lisa proclaimed it was "Good! Nice day. I don't have to eat today, I'm not coming tomorrow." This as she was eating.

Um. The lady next to her Karen... spoke softly then said "Don't be crazy you have to come tomorrow."

"No I don't."

"Yes I do."

John on the other side was making faces. Joan decided she'd had enough and pushed through Karen's backside to leave. Wheelchair bumper car. More aides and we got that sorted.

MIL asked me who that lady was that had just seen her. I said, "Your doctor."

MIL: "Oh no, she isn't. I think my doctor is in Viroqua. And why do they keep changing my room? Every time I leave they move my room!"

I asked if the lunchroom mob would like me to visit tomorrow as their were no activities due to it being 4th of July. I said we could do a wheelchair parade. 

John mimed clapping with one hand. Lisa said she didn't have to come tomorrow...only on Thursdays. Joan was scooting down the hall and Karen said, "Sure but it isn't 4th of July, it is December but it is too hot."

Of course, that made perfect sense.

I got MIL part of the way to her room. I am not allowed to push her if she doesn't have her leg rests in. MIL was upset I had to leave to get Rich. I found someone to let them know she said she'd need help to find her room again. I turned around to leave and ran into John who tried to high five me.

I think MIL's floor is for dementia patients. Now let me say that some days we have the greatest sanest conversations, on other days I am not sure what is going on. 

I really must say that I do love visiting with these folks. One day Lisa took my hand and thanked me for having the courage to come and sit with them as often as I did. To tell you the truth, I kinda dig them. 

So Charlie will have a long walk early in the day, a bath and then I will decorate him with r/w/b spangly bows on his harness and we will go visitin'. It is supposed to be wretched and stormy so why not?

Just as long as they don't keep me.

Whirlwinds...

Just this and that...

I've been hunting Morels like a mad woman.
Well, that and mowing the yard, trimming with the little mower and using the pony and goat for those impossible areas to get to.

Sven is in this photo near the light colored mule on the outside of the fence. He is trimming what I couldn't get with the mower.

I've been going to see MIL in the nursing home. She is sure that she is going home the very next day. She is fairly non compliant with the things she needs to do for her leg edema which is getting worse as her legs are starting to leak.

Our visits have been good, but it just means I need to pack more into the latter parts of the day.

Rich has been okay sort of. He is maintaining an slightly better attitude. I feel badly because I am running around like a mad woman outside doing as much maintenance as I can to catch up on these dry days.

This includes taking Charlie and Sven on Morel Hunts.

In two days I've gotten enough for two meals and have dehydrated some for use this winter.

I have been crazy busy this week.
But spring is quickly changing the woods...

And I have to remember to stop and take a breather and enjoy it once in a while....

And....
I'm off and running again...

Charlie Charlie ... The Chicken

I thought I'd go visit my MIL in the nursing home early Sunday. I gave Charlie a bath and took him along.

I brought puzzle books and a card. I tucked Charlie under my arm as I made my way down the hallways. I was stopped my nearly everyone. Housekeeping, nurses, staff, and residents who wanted to see the 'puppy'. Charlie wagged his tail and loved all the petting.

We finally made it to MIL's room and Charlie greeted her with happy wags as she reached down to pet him. He eventually made it to her lap and laid down.

As MIL complained about the terrible beds, the boredom, and how 'nothing' was happening, her hands kept stroking Charlie's coat.
I've also learned with Alzheimer's that you just go with the flow. She told me repeats of the past few events and I listened. No matter that we'd had this conversation before. Her time line and my time line of events are different and that is okay, we still had a very nice visit.
She told me she was going home the next time she saw a doctor. She wanted to go home and sit in her chair and not be bothered and she wanted very strong pain pills.
I reminded her that he kidneys were so frail that they couldn't handle strong pain pills. She made a face and then I decided I should keep my mouth shut and let the pros handle it.

All the time, she just unconsciously pet Charlie and soon Charlie's eyes were droopy. The only time he looked concerned is when he could hear someone coming down the hallway.

When the visit was over I let Charlie walk down the hall on his leash. He is so low to the ground and has such a funny gate. However, he walked as if he owned the place.
Some housekeeping gals asked if the could pet him. Charlie walked up and sat by their feet while they rubbed his ears and talked to him. His tail swished and he sat still.
At the nurse's station, the gals came out and had to see Charlie. Then the residents in wheelchairs saw him and the crowd began to merge in on us. Charlie walked from one resident to another and sat at their feet if they put their hand down or spoke to him.

One lady insisted he was a Chicken. Well why not? Let Charlie be a Chicken. Ever person smiled. Frail shaking hands gently touched Charlie and Charlie just sat quietly.

How old is he? Asked a nurse.
Just over a year.

Please bring him back again.

We got through the group of residents and started down the hall. Charlie peered into each room to see if there was someone in it. I was told that Charlie could visit if they asked him in.
Funny that he'd pause for a bit at each resident's door and watch them, then move slowly on to the next.

Last stop was outside the lunchroom. More workers came out and all wanted to say hi. Charlie sat and seemed to relish the attention. He didn't wiggle, he didn't whine, he didn't bark. He just was like Charlie Zen.

I've concluded that Charlie has an old soul and really can tell things about people. When he meets most folks he is bubbly and excited but calms down quickly.

He seemed to know that all these folks wanted was to touch him and he seemed content and quiet.
On the ride home, he curled up in his car seat and slept.

Charlie, Chuckie, Charlie, Chicken, Puppy, Doggy, ... whatever name he goes by...he is really something special.

Someone said that Morris must have brought him into our lives.
I wonder....