Showing posts with label nasty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nasty. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 07, 2018

Colonoscopies and Refrigerators...how fun.



No one likes to talk about that procedure. It is simply, well ... not dinner conversation at all. Whoever invented the prep was an evil sadistic person. However, it must be done to get a good clean out.
I had one 10 years ago because of some issues I'd had and it was time for the next one ... 10 years later.
My first one went quite well and except for the prep there was no pain or anxiety.

However this one? The prep went well. 
After all, who doesn't love Gatorade mixed with Miralax? It wasn't as bad as GoLYTELY. In the 'end' I was passing Gatorade lemon/lime colored stuff which was clear of debris. [Isn't that a nice term?]
I saw the doctor after the nurse tried to get in an IV. I winced as she dug around and then had to pick another spot.
I thought, "No, this will all be just fine. Really. The first time was so easy, this should be the same."
I heard someone down the hall hollering "Ouch ouch ouch OWWWWWW!" I didn't pay it much thought until much later.
Into the room we went. Mild sedative and the doctor started. Soon I was whispering out "Owww!" "Hey that hurts!"
The RN at my head said, "It's okay."
I replied, "IT is NOT okay! Ouch!"
I watched the scope fly through my innards and when the doctor hit a curve it felt like an internal baseball bat hit me. "JEEESUSSS, what the Fu--?"
Finally the doctor said quietly, "Almost at the end."
It felt like I was rammed.
Then I watched the scope exiting out.
I gritted my teeth. If I hadn't been sedated, I would have ripped out the painful IV and started swinging. 

My end result by the doctor was, "It is great, everything looks good!"
I asked her point blank in the recovery room. "Then why did it hurt like hell?"
Her answer, "You have a lot of twists and turns in your colon."
"Well that was more painful than it should have been."

She patted my leg and left the room. I threw nasty think darts at her back even though I was starving and slightly floaty. I swore she'd never ever touch me again. In 10 yrs if I was due up again, I'd drill the doctor about their procedure.

The cartoon? Yeah, I agree with that one this time. 
Crapping Gatorade poo and getting beat up inside was not a good day for me.

Tuesday was: go to Mom in Law's to help her out with cleaning her fridge. I did the grocery shopping and came home. I still felt ... pardon the pun. Crappy. My lower intestines hurt still, perhaps from the wild rush of the scope through my bum or perhaps I was bruised inside. It hurt. Or it was the gas she blew me up with lingering and causing discomfort.
I called Mom in Law and told her I needed one more day of rest before tackling the HazMat Tainted and Dreaded Fridge Job.







I will go today to the apartment with dire trepidation.

I've grown strange science experiments before in my own fridge, but nothing quite compares to this....

One must face adversities in life.
Be strong.
Be very strong.




Wednesday, October 29, 2014

She yelled ICKY at me! ~by Morris

SHE yelled icky! ICKY at me today while we were taking a hike.

More than once. 
Last time we hiked she yelled Icky and I had rolled in some exceptionally stinky goo to which she immediately put me in the bath when we got home.

I was fragrant and slimy.  I was a happy dog.

Today though I should have listened to her yelling at me.

We did have a fine time though.



I found a deer trail and after a bit we even found a Monster Buck.

SHE stood super quiet and only reached for her cheapo pocket camera.  We could hear the buck approaching us as we were on the downwind side of him.

Man, I thought she was going to have the 'Vapors', she was so excited.
And SHE said she just sort of got a crummy photo of the Buck.



[The big deer is at the top of the photo and very hard to see, but he had big shiny horns!]

I however decided to growl and puff up.  I was the guardian dog.  I growled very nasty stuff at him and he just turned and walked away.

SHE was still in awe.

So she was taking pretty photos of something she calls Barberries and Rose Hips so I decided to go eat some nasties.


I ate some small bones and then some really nasty Dexter poo and maybe some other stuff.

SHE wasn't looking!

So when I got home I drank a lot of water and then...well I went in my crate and had a barf-fest.

SHE was angry at first but realized that I didn't make a mess in the house.

Then SHE felt bad.

And then I felt even worser.

I wouldn't eat when she fed me.

I sat with my ears drooped and eyes at half mast.  
Then finally SHE came after supper and took my vitals.

Interesting.  She has a veterinarian's stethescopy thingy.
SHE could hear my breathing as normal and Heart Rate as normal.

SHE pronounced that I had a very bad stomach ache.

How did one human get to be so smart?

I'm feeling better now, but SHE is watching me carefully.


I'm getting to be an 'elderly' dog SHE tells me.  And she said next time she points her finger at me and yells ICKY I should listen.

Maybe SHE is right?

Awww poo on that.
I love icky.