Pausing on a rainy sleety day

First off, I am totally excited that my Granddaughter Ariel will be coming to spend next Friday with us. She'll stay over night.

She turns 19 next Friday. Where on earth did all those years go???

Here are some photos from years past. 

Ariel brought so much into our lives over the years. Her folks used to come often to visit and would drop her off at our house while they stayed the weekend at my Mother in Law's large house.

Ariel wanted to be like Grandma Val with a 
backpack and camera...

Dancing with Grandpa Rich in the yard.

Helping Great Grandma Lenise

Helping Grandpa with chores

Riding Badger

Ariel let me know last month that she was planning on driving up her new to her car that she bought on her own to visit us. She'd been wanting to do a solo trip on her own for a while.

She is no longer a child but a grown up. She is working on getting her own apartment and place to live which is not easy right now. 

Secretly, I'd love it if she moved near us and worked at one of the nicest places around "Go Macro".  I doubt that will happen but I could wish it.

I'm not her 'blood' grandma, but I sure do love her.

I always have enjoyed our time spent together. She is a quiet person with a great imagination and is very intense in her sense of responsibilities.

I am looking forward to her visit as is Grandpa.

Just Dance Instead

I had plans to sneak out to the Reserve and look for some birdies. Instead, let's just say things didn't work out for me to go check out the ponds.

I got pretty grumpy. And I wanted to have a temper tantrum. I really did. But it wasn't anyone's fault that things didn't work out. The day was absolutely gorgeous, so I went out to the forest garden with Charlie and did some clean up. The ground is still frozen under the leaves and sticks. 

That didn't make me Un-grumpy so I decided to try a different tactic.

I decided to take out my camera and go enjoy some sunshine. 

I took my Smart Phone and tuned it into Pandora and donned my little wireless earbuds. Pavlov Stellar's Booty Swing came on and my feet couldn't help but start to dance.

I am glad I live in a secluded area. Imagine seeing me dancing to a tune no one else could hear. My husband once told me that my dancing actually looks like I'm having the Vapors or some sort of Seizure.

I went in with my goat and we danced to tunes only I could hear. Sven was happy to have someone to play with. 

I found myself laughing at his silly reactions to my absolute horrible moves. Laughter led to smiles, smiles led to happiness and suddenly that Grumpy lady disappeared.

I left Sven's pen and went out to wander about with my camera. The sunshine felt fantastic and I decided to make the best of the afternoon anyway.

I thought I'd experiment at trying to catch a bird in flight. I'm still working on that skill, but at least I got to see Robins.

And those annoying Grackles.

My beautiful red head walked out of the woods to watch me. Perhaps Sunshine had seen my awkward dancing.

Maybe goofy dancing with a goat is a cure for stress. It sure helped me.

Waldeinsamkeit

Waldeinsamkeit is what I have been looking for. 

According to Dictionary.com it is a combination of two words. I really love this word and what it means.
It helped me answer that stupid midnight question of Who am I?

I am ... as one very wise friend told me: Who do you want to be today?

Today I say: I am ... this ~

and I dance to music in the kitchen with my headphones on while making beef stew.

Tomorrow I say: I am ... this ~

and I open my arms to encompass my tiny farm.

The next day I say: I am ... this ~

and I open up my backpack and pull out my camera.

...

Another day I say: I am ... this ~

a medical advocate or

... making spreadsheets and accounts of all expenses...planning meals... planning 

The next day I say: I am...this ~

imagination running wild.

Finally I say: I am...this ~

Waldeinsamkeit.

Into the Woods

Sometimes I dance to my own music that only I can hear. The squirrels laughed and chattered along with the chipmunks.
The trees swayed and applauded by dropping golden leaves on me.

So this is some of what I did. My first real self portrait shoot of sorts.
I had some fun. 
I used a 25mm lens and a self timer. I really took some crappy shots.

Yes I tossed the flip flops and went barefoot. It felt so much better. A lot of shots were not in focus but some were just fine. I even used and Art Setting called soft focus which gave the whole shot an Orton type look like in the first photo.

One of the very hard lessons I learned is that I think I messed with the art filters too much. I'd set up the camera to recognize the face. Good move. Except that the Artsy Fartsy Filter doesn't recognize the face. Soooo many shots were neat, but alas I was not in focus. 
However. That was okay for some of the shots. I didn't want close ups of my freckle face.

I learned that my glasses should be left on... no matter how much I wanted to have them off.

I have a ridge across my nose that shows up in the photos. But who is looking that close anyway? No way am I smoothing this out. 

Yes! I even applied some makeup. Yuck on reddish colored lipstick. But I used it.
Other fun notes.
Since I always wear a baseball cap outside doing work, my skin tone is different on my forehead and yes I have used sunscreen. 
Note to self. Keep the camera further away or wear a cap!

Then there is the scary person. Infrared! The eyes turn black! And of course I am holding a skull.

Then I decided to just sit in the woods and chill out for a while. 
If I stayed long enough I'd fade right into the forest.

[Layered photos one without me in it on top.] The magic of layers.

I can live with this one. I feel it is more true to myself in a way.

How I Go to the Woods by Mary Oliver

Ordinarily, I go into the woods alone, with not a single 
friend,  for they are all talkers and therefore unsuitable.

I really don't want to be witnessed talking to the catbirds
or hugging the old black oak tree. I have my way of praying,
as you no doubt have yours.

Besides, when I am alone I can be invisible. I can sit on top of a
dune as motionless as an uprise of weeds, 
until the foxes run by unconcerned. I can almost hear the unhearable
sound of the roses singing.

If you ever have gone into the woods with me, I must love you
very much.

Decoration---ing & Fence Dancing!

This is one half of my house, literally. This is the view from our added on bedroom doorway---of the living room. It looks out towards the porch on the south side of our house. I was considering putting up a Christmas Chair again this year. 

Hubby watches TV from the folding chair. There is our drying rack next to the cabin heater. Charlie sits in sunlight. To the left is the loveseat. That is it. We can't social distance in our house. If I got sick, I'd have to quarantine outside somehow. That means using the horse trailer with a plug in for heat [let's say it would be colder than a witch's you-know-what and using the outhouse while prepping meals and doing chores?]....Yes our house is that little that we would breath the same air no matter what.

Anyway, that aside...

This is the other half of the house. Photo taken from the fridge. The oven and sink are to the left out of sight.

There is a half story upstairs but that is only used for storage or when we have company. And we haven't had company since February 2020. I keep my ever growing supply of toys, baskets, tea cups, and other items used for Still Life Photography in one of the rooms. Sometimes the items are neatly stored away and other times it appears as if a tornado has hit the room.

I don't know if I will do the Chair/Tree this year or not. Last year it was boxes that I decorated. You know, wooden dynamite boxes, sulfuric acid box, a nuts and bolts box, and an ancient nesting box that my MIL had. I am not conventional at all. Things just sort of start coming together. I put things in place and then tear it apart and start again.

I gather sticks and weeds to make winter bouquets. I even found some dead birch branches to do 'something' with. I'm not sure yet. But I am looking for some pine boughs to make something with too. 

I explained this nonsensical method to my 30 something nephew. I get an idea in my head and then I just go into some sort of zone. I grab things together and don't think too much of what I am doing. I rearrange, mess around, rearrange some more and then there it is. Sometimes it is a disaster and sometimes it works. My mind gets into some kind of otherworld Zone and it keeps moving along. I can't stop it until I make a creation of some sort.

So I picked up sticks in the yard. There are always branches falling from the trees. Sometimes I just chuck them into the burn pile. Today I gathered the more interesting ones and stuck them in my now much faded and dead looking flower garden. I thought, hmmmmmmmm....they could hold a string of lights!

Honest, it will look much nicer with a fresh snowfall on it. But I am very pleased with my outdoor lighting effort. There is only one other household that could possibly even see it.
The neighbors at the top of the ridge.

Below is a reindeer metal thingy that a lady gave me years ago. It is creepy in a way and it is supposed to be a Christmas Card Holder. I've repurposed it to be a yard 'decorate'. No problem. I am odd I will admit it.

The head nods up and down and back and forth, it had a tendency to tip over startle my husband and old Jack Russell Terrier....so for years it was remanded to the shed in purgatory. I brought it back out to add to my flower garden, I had a friend drill holes in the base so I can use spikes to hold the 'Moose/Deer' in place.

He/she is still a bit on the creepy side, but people often ask me what the hell is that supposed to be?

Hey, why not? Even the UPS guy was like...what the heck? Yeah. If it gets a reaction like that, it is worth keeping around!

Do you...

Recall the Fence Feud? I went out and rearranged all the ghosts and the Stick People. I made sure that my movements were not within camera range from the other side of the fence.

So to my surprise, the dude on the other side moved the camera to point onto my property. I suppose to see what I was doing. I wandered there just after sunrise on Friday morning.

So I thought for a moment and then decided to give them a show. Really I thought about pulling off my old patched coveralls and peeing right there so he could see my butt. However I decided to have a bit more fun.

I slowly put my camera down and then began to sway back and forth with my arms raised. Then I turned and slowly waved my arms up and down. I kneeled on the ground [facing away from the camera] and raised my head and arms as if in prayer to some unseen god of the forest. Then fell flat on the forest floor and writhed as if possessed.

When I got up I Cursed their side of The Woods. Angry Face, throwing invisible and voiceless curses in the direction of the camera. I really don't know how to make a curse, but I had to make it look good!

I am giggling here. His camera was pointing into the morning sun so the photos this person will get will be silhouettes. 

Hunting season ends tomorrow at sundown. 

This Spring, I am fixing the fence and attaching No Hunting signs to it. 

I don't think this person knows how much entertainment he has provided this old lady with during the Pandemic.