CareGiver

 

"A hug is always the right size." ~~ Winnie the Pooh

I was asked by a VA Social Worker how CareGiving changed my life. I didn't get philosophical like I could have IF I'd had time to think about it.
So I answered honestly.

It isn't how I saw myself spending my time as I aged. Pre Caregiving was a life full of trips and adventures with a lot of camping and riding mules. I worked a pretty good job that drove me nuts with the odd hours I worked.

I became a CareGiver because it was the only way hubby could come back home. That was 5 years ago. It just felt right. I couldn't leave him 14 hrs a day on his own after nearly losing him twice  in the early morning hours. 

The Social worker asked if I had experience in this. I chuckled and said that it was on the job experience. She smiled and said most folks who have raised children have extensive experience. 

I agree. I was a mom, but being a caring person for a once able person is much more different than caring for a child. At least I could send my kids to their rooms or ground them for misbehaving. 

I looked up quotes and inspirational 'stuff' on the internet. All of them sing wonderful praises about being a Caregiver. How enlightening it is, how courageous it is, how fulfilling it is.

No one quotes or discusses the arguments that cannot be won. The discussions that go no where. The memories that are flawed yet have to be glossed over in order to keep the peace. 

CareGiving did change our lives. In a sweet way, it has allowed us to stay together. In a hard way because of his frailty it has isolated us socially. You can draw your own conclusions regarding that. 

Caregiving pushed me to be an Advocate and a mom to my husband. Yet we still find those magical little moments where both of us forget all the medical issues and frailties. We laugh and make like we are going to beat each other up with slippers. There is a spark in his eye and laughter.

A hug goes a long long way. 

Compassion and empathy is not in everyone's make up. I'm not special.

To Quote Winnie the Pooh [my hero]:

"Some people care too much. I think it's called love." ~ Winnie the Pooh

Life is Precious

 "Remember that all through history, there have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time they seem invincible. But in the end they always fall." ~ Mahatma Ghandi

There, that how I feel about the current situation in the United States. That is, aside from the Covid-19 Pandemic that many still think are not a big deal.
And to those that say it is not a big deal, how would they feel if/when it effects them or a family member. And that family member is wiped from the face of the earth. Or a person contracts Covid and they are a Long Hauler with life long issues.

The best my husband can hope for, is to avoid contracting Covid for as long as possible and hope for better treatments. Or as he said to me. Let me go if I get it. 

I'm taking this time this fall and winter to appreciate our close relationship and friendship. Our future is never certain nor is it written in stone. 

218,000 lives gone in how many months? Seven? Eight? 

Don't live in fear or let Covid run your life. 

I hear that often. 
But I also don't drive without caution, I wear a seatbelt. 
I ride my equine with a helmet.
I ride my bicycle safely.

I live my life responsibly because if I am gone, who is left to take care of my husband?

I consider his life to be precious to me. I like his company even when we don't agree on things.
I love his aphasia from his stroke, he comes up with mixes of words that make absolute sense. I love his humor. I love his company even though he can drive me crazy.

So go to your bars, flaunt your maskless faces. Live your life as you may. But don't ask me to be sorry if the big Covid comes into your life and causes pain and suffering. 

I can't believe I wrote that. But there it is. 

As someone said, "It is what it is."

I don't think I can ever use that line again without some sense of horror and disgust.

Life is Precious.