Possibilities

Getting close to surgery!

Mondays are usually a disaster. Between phone calls from his doctor at the VA, other calls, and getting him ready for PT,...well...Mr. Procrastinator sometimes has issues with Mondays. It is like nudging a kid who doesn't want to go to school and says...
My tummy hurts
My head hurts
I don't wanna...
No, he doesn't say those exact words, but his actions are those of 'faces' and expressions when I set things up for showers or set out a change of clothes.
He'd rather not go, he tells me. I have learned that arguing is of no use. Sometimes I win, sometimes I loose.
His doctor from the VA called at 8am, which was scheduled. That set his whole day off from track. He doesn't like to get up before 9am.
Period.
He was grouchy and well, just his ol' Grumpy Self.
He talked with the doctor for about a minute and then handed me the phone.
His PCP who was not very cooperative in helping me figure out some things needed for surgery seemed all bright and cheery.
Whatever. She suddenly wanted to be helpful. This after I bypassed her for the cooperative Psychiatrist.

The extreme humidity we are having doesn't help much. Nor does the mornings of dense fog and over cast days.

The folks at Pulmonary Therapy are Angels and helped him through his rough Mondays. It seems that Mondays for whatever reason are really tough for him.
We discussed the ever present Monster of MDD or Major Depressive Disorder and he said he had no idea why he was the way he was and why things were so hard for him.
By afternoon, he is usually more cheerful and by evening, he is more like the guy I once knew.

Anyway....

On Saturday...
In order to break up Rich's monotony of TV binging, I offered to take him for a drive out to Runge Hollow where we have fished once in a while. He said NO at first and then agreed to it.
It was a nice drive.

I had a chance to park up above the earthen dam and bring out my camera. The day was rather dull looking and very grey so I thought I'd see what happened with my IR filters.

Even with barely any sun, I was able to get some great IR reflections off the grass.

And then the black and white 850nm filter...

It changes the perspective by making the green bright and the water dark. This shot would have been dreary in color.

And lastly, some X's in the water and trees from down by the lake itself.

This always reminds me of how my Grandmother used to claim that she left X's in the water at the good fishing spots.

Rich looked around and at the fishing dock then claimed he'd have to walk too far or...it didn't look like a good fishing spot. I cheerfully pointed out that I'd seen good sunfish reports from this man made lake and that the fishing dock would be a perfect place to sit after surgery and toss worms into the water.

Grumpy vs. Hopeful.
Sometimes I think that is my role in life.
He points out the misery, I point out the possibilities.

And life goes on.

Hope Glimmers

Sometimes things look slightly better with a glimmer of hope.

You know dreary days can be SO darned dreary! We've had endless bouts of gloomy and rainy cold days mixed with wonderful warm days. Those days involve me trying to mow the areas I can without floating the lawn mower.

So that leaves out the hills as the ground under the grass is so saturated I'd leave brown tracks. Hmmm. I may have to wait on the lane for the land to dry out. By that time the grass should be at least knee high.
But wait!

I know Sven can't keep up with it, and Lil' Richard is doing his best around the old tractor and vehicles...
So I may wait until the lane is nice and dry and let the mules in to clean it up all at once. Then I just need to spread the manure they leave behind.

Problem solved!
I may have to do that to the hill in front of the shed too. That will be a bit more difficult to organize, but since I am so good at temporary fencing, I just may do it.

May is proving to be interesting. I've really had good luck on the warm afternoons hunting morel mushrooms. I will probably go out this afternoon with my electric fence roll and string one line and then since I will be at the creek...I will do a quick hunt before walking back up to the house.

I know where there were some very tiny morels on Saturday, so I'd like to go back and see if they grew.
So far I've had plenty to eat and I've dried a lot for soups and stews this winter.

Rich's depression has lifted quite a bit with the help of Dr. S.
Wow.
We saw Dr. S yesterday and he said the difference was night and day. The Gnarly Witty and sometimes bizarre husband of mine was bantering with his psych doctor.
Rich's Pulmonary Function Test was no surprise.
Severe COPD.
Now we didn't get the official numbers but as Jim the Pulmonary Therapist who evaluated him last week said, some Pulmonary Therapy and better Oxygen delivery would make him physically feel better.

Community Care from the VA just called to make arrangements locally for PT for Rich. We know that Rich will never get rid of his oxygen tether and that for traveling he will need a constant flow rather than the pulse flow he has now. At home he is on a constant flow.
The 02 metering may have to go up too, but...they want to see if PT helps first.

The biggest hurdle will be getting some strength back.

But never mind that. The thought of Pulmonary Therapy gave Rich a glimmer of hope and a small sparkle in his eye. I knew it.
I knew that without lifting some depression that nothing would make him see hope.
We all know the end game of life. But if there is a small chance of still enjoying moments...it is worth the trip.