What to live for

Yesterday was a busy day. We'd gone to the VA for appointments on Tuesday and it felt like we spent the whole day going from one place to another.
Actually we got in early and were seen early which is not the usual way things happen.

We have the Kenosha Gang coming this weekend. They aren't actually from Kenosha but I met them while living in that county.
So I was anxious to get the yard work started and at least do some picking up and preparing for their visit.
Rich's meds in the morning make him light headed and dizzy. Two inhalers plus a nebulizer treatment in the morning seems to make him wobbly. He feels constantly stuffed up and we asked the ENT folks Tuesday to check that out. They are following up on the Throat Cancer, fingers crossed...all looks good.

It seems one of the meds for prostrate enlargement is making his sinuses a bit swollen. It is a side effect. IF anyone can have an unusual side effect from medication, it will be my husband.

I looked up his meds and yes, they keep him going but sometimes I wonder if the meds are doing as much harm combined as they could be doing good? I think a major review of the medications are in order. So many of his meds have dizziness as a side effect.

The good news from the CT scan with contrast is that the aneurysm in his brain has not shown any change, nor are there any signs of new strokes.
The bad.
He feels lousy, he has no ambition or energy, he feels dizzy and out of breath often, he has tremors, and emotionally flat most of the time.
The grumpy Gus I used to be married to no longer oversees my fencing or corrects the way I do projects. He shrugs and watches Netflix or takes a nap.

Yesterday morning he sat with his coffee after eating breakfast and said, "I'm just slowly dying, fading away. I wish I could feel like doing something or just trying to do something."
I said nothing. What could I say? He was right. My husband was fading before my eyes.
The man who used to be the Take Charge Man, no longer shows interest in most things.

Hopefully our meeting next week with Neuro-Psychology will prove helpful. In a way Rich felt as if it would have been kinder if the doctors had not been able to remove the two clots in his brain and had just let him go.

So he went to bed for his morning nap and I told him that I was going to go outside and work. That is what I do when I am frustrated and feel helpless.

I started up the weed eater and attacked the long grasses next to the shed. Then I went after other messy places, those places that are so hard to mow.
After my hands began to hurt, I put the ''eater' down and started to trim with the little mower. I took breaks often, but got all the trimming done around the house.

After lunch Rich came out and mowed a portion of the yard and then went to lay down again. He said he'd finish the rest of the yard after a rest.

I proceeded to work on the new/old chair after I watered and rotated the Dexter cattle to a different section of the woods. I sat on the porch and took out my paints. I'd worked out my frustrations and now it was time to let my creative juices flow.

Remember that ugly chair?

Well I have been working on it a bit at a time.

I usually don't plan things out and just let it happen. I wanted bright cheery colors so I used brilliant yellow spray paint on the legs and added some aqua. I used silver on the back of the chair. I don't know why but just did.

I had some old white paint that needed to be used up so I painted the seat white. Boring old white.
While I was at it, I spruced up the wooden spool that we use as a porch table.

I finally got around to doing the edges....not shown here.

The plain white boring seat bothered me, so I did some touching up here and there and then started to experiment with some masking tape.

That was fun, so I began mixing the aqua, blue, green, and seafoam colors in a cap and creating my own colors and made more stripes.

Okay. Nice looking but not FUN!

The stripes aren't perfect, and the paints aren't perfect, but it had its charm. However it needed something else.

Now I am completely charmed by this old chair. If it lasts a season or two on the porch I will be happy. My butterfly happy colored chair.
It fits in so nicely with my spool table and funky table top...

Ready for company!

Charlie was exhausted.

All that supervising wore him out.

The day was still 'young' after supper was cleaned up.
Remember I said I had the Kenosha Gang visiting this weekend? They want to go riding. So I am saving some time and saddling each mule we will take with the saddle that will be used on them with each rider. Amanda will ride Sunsine in my Western saddle that I modified. So last night I saddled Sunshine and took her for a rather boring but peaceful ride on the gravel roads and hay fields.

Sunshine is out of my original horse, Cheyanne. She is half sister to my all time favorite mule Badger who is no longer with us.

And...
then...
my day
was complete...

Well in this life you must find something to live for
Cause when darkness comes a callin'
You'll go back to where you were before
Cause this life is as
Fragile as a dream, and
Nothing's ever really
As it seems...
~~Lily Kershaw
"As it seems"

Fog and Pasture

We used to fence off the neighbor's meadow and keep it clipped and grazed by the equine for quite a few years.

After my husband's stroke last May we sold most of the equine. I tried keeping up on the weeds vs. the electric fence last year but lost out. Without my husband clipping it with the mower, it became a tangled mess of multiflora rose and other nasties.

However, it still presents as a beautiful place to watch the sun come through the fog on those typical Driftless mornings.

Charlie and I walk back almost every morning to check on the status of the mules and Fifteen in the back.
And whenever the small herd sees me, the come up to the gate.

On the other side of that crooked-ly fence is the Merry Meadow. If I could drive a tractor and operate the mower, I'd clip the meadow just to keep the weeds down and create a nice place to ride with the kids. Hmmm, I wonder if I could get my husband or the neighbor to clip a trail????
Anyway, that was just a fleeting thought to be filed for later.

This particular morning, the fog was incredible.

Layers upon layers of mist rising...or fog.

And well, the rest was just nice to stand and watch.

I am currently working on putting up some fencing in the woods behind the meadow. I should say I am working on repairs and replacing part of the fence.

We haven't used the 'wooded' pasture since 2009. The posts are there, but there is some fixing to do.
I am just going to work on half of it.

I guess that is the one thing I do love about electric 'rope' fence. I can make a section just about anywhere just clear the weeds and underbrush and put in the posts.

Maybe I should just take some photos or draw it out. Hmmm. Thinking again!
My goal by mid summer is to have good rotation for the 5 head of cattle and the 5 head of equine.

The Dexter cattle are experts at browsing the undesirable weeds and cleaning up brush.

The ladies doing their job. They gleaned this pasture and are out working on the ragweed and other grasses in the large winter pasture.
Soon they will rotate back to their favorite lot.
I think I call that #4.

Well there you go. More than you wanted to know.

The Creek

There isn't much to say about ... the Creek. Except that I love the creek. I love going there and just wandering.

I like rainy and overcast days the best as the lighting seems more mystical. There have been times I've gone after a rain ... and the sun came out hot and brilliant which created a fog over the water.
Here is a shot from a few years ago...2011 to be exact. Mr. Morris was still a brown faced Jack Russell!

It was cool this time and the sky was overcast, but at times sunlight did drift down.

I went alone which meant I didn't have to watch over any dogs and could spend my time just observing and looking at rocks.

I walked from the western neighbor's side towards the east, going downstream.

I guess I don't have to explain the sense of awe I felt right in this spot. The lighting, the water, the greens, the brilliant rocks, and the moss all seemed to create the perfect scene.

And I did find the fog rising over the creek near where the trail had just been redone.

I didn't follow my usual route and instead of ducking under one end of a fallen tree, I went around to climb over near the stump end.

I normally just duck under the above tree and continue to walk...but I didn't... and...

I was presented with a beautiful site.

You will find something more in woods than in books. Trees and stones will teach you that which you can never learn from masters.
~~ Saint Bernard

Lessons from Charlie

Yesterday I took a break from the 'CareGiving' organizing and scheduling for both Rich and MIL. I took Charlie out so he could inspect the bulldozed ridge road. When we got to the creek, he calmly walked through the mud and silt picking up each leg higher than normal as he boldly inspected.

I really think he noted the difference in the bottom. He looked right, left, and slowly turned around and then spotted the trail going up the other side of the creek and took off trotting. He stopped and glanced back at me as if to say "Coming? Human-slave?" 

I was coming. 

However on our way through the mule pasture, I noted that the gate was not hot so I decided not to really explore any more but to go back and figure out why the fence was not working. I would have preferred to walk the whole trail all the way to the back fence, however the thought of loose equine turned me around.

I asked Charlie to come and he turned back and we headed towards home and the meadow.

[Note! Charlie is coming most of the time now when I call him, especially in the woods! He still likes to play catch me if you can in the yard sometimes.]

Often he stopped to listen to noises in the woods. I know he is close to the ground so he can't see over the brush and undergrowth. But he does listen and seem to think.
I heard a robin, a Titmouse, and in the distance I heard a wren scolding something while I stood and waited for him to check things out.

Charlie took a keen interest in the deer tracks on the ridge road. Probably looking for delicious deer poop. Not something I'm going to try any time soon.

In the meadow I had to set him down to fix the fence. First I had to introduce him to the mules who were all curious as to why I was in their pasture and why I had Charlie with me. I let the redheaded mules sniff Charlie in my arms. Seems that they don't perceive dogs that I am close to as threats.
They will chase down strange dogs and try to kill them. Charlie is so small, I think they don't believe he is worth chasing. They don't chase the cats that walk through their pastures either so I wonder if they think he is a cat?

With Charlie ignoring the mules and sitting between my legs, I found that the electric wire had gotten wrapped around barbed wire by some animal. Perhaps a raccoon had been chased through the fence. I've seen the girls do that before too. I fixed it and Charlie insisted on walking [with his cord attached to him of course] through the tall grass. I'm sure we looked rather funny.
Tiny dog, Human-slave, and 4 mules in single file walking through the meadow.

Did you know how interesting straw is? We have to stop, inspect it, and then chew on it. How about that bumble bee on the wild geraniums? Stop, inspect, watch, and then move on.
We eventually made it back to the house and Charlie flopped onto the rug I have on the porch. I brought him and I some cold water and we enjoyed the light breeze and the shade for a bit.

He was panting so I took him inside and let him rest. Rich was still napping. I had fence to rebuild and wasn't looking forward to using the post pounder but went back out and did it anyway.

.....

The lessons really came much later. After dark Charlie asked to go outside. I was in my PJ bottoms so I went out with him. He did his business quickly and then ran back to the piece of carpet on the porch and sat. I sat on the carpet too. He crawled into my lap and leaned against me.

His head kept darting back and forth. His ears would perk up when he heard the tree toads on the west side sing. Then his head would dart back to the east and suddenly he leaned harder and stomped his feet. I could see him trying to figure something out. Then it dawned on me.
Charlie was watching lightening bugs. He was listening to the toads and the June Bugs were buzzing in the Hickory tree nearby making the tree sound like it was electrified.

So I sat for a long time on the old chunk of carpet on the concrete with Charlie in my lap.
We listened to the toads.
We watched lightening bugs [he growled softly a few times...at them].
We listened to the June Bugs in the tree.

Fast isn't always the answer. Sometimes just sitting quietly and using your senses is the way to go.
Charlie is an expert at chillin' out.

It is a good lesson to learn.

The day of the Dozer

Our driveway was a getting washed out, and the culverts were plugged. Both my husband and neighbor had done some repair work to it over the past.
Farm Friend came with his bulldozer and started work on the driveway. He smoothed it out, reshaped it and fixed the 'water run offs' for us.

He arranged to have the gravel trucks show up and ... the next morning at 7 AM I had gravel being dumped!

This is just the hill section of the driveway, but even before the new gravel, I think it was looking so much better!

Jeff is a master at dozing. He worked many years for our county doing bulldozing, grading, and of course snow removal. He is retired now and farming with his son full time and 'Dozing' part time.

He repaired our driveway in 2007 and I'd say it has lasted a very long time. He also made a trail through our woods and a crossing in our creek bottom that washed out completely in 2016.
He asked if we needed a touch up of the trail. Yes on the other side of the creek the trail had become over grown and trees had fallen down.

And so...
The Dozer went on a mission...

This doesn't look like much, but the old ridge 'road' was getting filled up with obstacles. It was fine in the winter and spring but it was becoming more like a deer trail.

Looks like I need to start spreading grass seed.

Then I trotted down and watched him work his magic machine in the bottom.

Here Jeff considers the best way to move earth and rebuild the crossing so we can use the 4 wheeler to get to the back of the property and even the skid steer if need be.
Our Kenosha pals would like to hunt out 'back' and last year there would have been no way they could have brought a deer back up through and over the 10 foot bank.

In our area we have steep hills and valleys. So our land seems to be in a constant state of change depending on Mother Nature.
Jeff considers the way the water will flow during a large storm and rebuilds to avoid that if at all possible.

Then he makes the 'ramp' down into the creek.

I actually think he loves doing this work the best. He can be creative ... and he can play with trees and rocks. Sort of like a HUGE sandbox.
I sort of said that to him and he smiled from ear to ear...

After he finished the crossing he touched up the 'back' trail and knocked down two huge box elder trees for me. They were dead and leaning towards our nice shed. We'd worried that Rich wouldn't be able to cut them without them falling onto the shed.
Another worry was that a windstorm would topple them onto our shed.

Now they are laying in one of the little pastures to be cut up and burned.

Jeff finished up and then offered to reshape the west side of the yard where a huge pile of sand and rock sit right now. I would have said go ahead but I know that Rich really wants to do it.
We decided to leave it for now and if Rich couldn't do it with the skid steer, we'd re-address that issue next year.

I took a lot of video of Jeff working his magic, but since it only really was interesting to myself and Rich, I won't bore you with it.

I hope to get down to the creek and see what it looks like this afternoon.

Day of the Dozer.
Wow....

Helping Paws

Sunrise walk. Charlie assists in making sure I set things up properly.

He then slides off to the side of the road to investigate smells.

...and the final product we were working on.
Morning Coffee on Tigen Road:

We went back home for morning chores and errands. Charlie supervised the house cleaning by sitting with Rich and watching the vacuum cleaner.

Our whole afternoon was spent gardening. Okay. Charlie and I.
He had a unique method of helping.

He packed some seeds down for me.

Later he helped by guarding the bucket of seeds and chewing up an old corn stalk.

It got warm in the dirt and he started to pant so I put him on his rug up on the porch where he could oversee the progress and stay cool.

I'm not sure how I could manage each day without him as a Helping Hand and Supervisor.

Rich didn't feel well most of the day yesterday. He felt dizzy and out of it. He spent most of the day in bed. I hope we are able to soon figure out if the meds he is taking are doing this or it is something else. His B/P and his O2 levels were appropriate.
Today we take his mom to have a Neuro-Psychology Test.

Gardens, Bugs, Kids

10 days ago the vegetable garden spot looked like this:

In the upper right corner of the photo, you can see the garden as it normally looks each spring. There are some mules in the photo and they were still moving between pastures #2 and #3. #2 is a winter lot, #3 is a wooded lot.

This is just after I spread the dirt in front of the porch and put grass seed down along with some hay chaff. The pots are my version of weird and funky.

Next? This is yesterday afternoon.

The mules have moved to the meadow out back [pasture #5], the cattle that remain are in the woods doing some brush cleaning.

Rich took nearly a week to complete the tilling but I am happy.  He struggled with it and could only do a little at a time. But I am over the moon happy. This is the first time I haven't had to do it by hand in a few years.

Doesn't it look nice?

On May 20th, my neighbor kids came down to visit and chat. This was when I was getting ready to seed the dirt in front of the porch. They loved my bucket of collected seeds from last year. I invited them to plant them and tromp them into the dirt.

Yesterday the seeded area looked like this:

I have Zinnias, marigolds, green beans and probably a few other flowers mixed in. I thought of transplanting the green beans, but I may let them stay just for fun.
I will thin and transplant some of the other flowers.
The odd looking bucket has oregano in it. The spool table holds a collection of strange roots and some painted deer skulls that the kids added bling to.

I'll get photos of those later.

Things are starting to shape up and look pretty!
The garden is going to be a delight to work in this year.

I'll have lettuce, tomatoes, green beans, sweet corn, turnips, carrots, and peas. There will be some red sweet peppers too, just for the added colors.

Of course against Rich's wishes, there will be sunflowers, zinnias, four o'clocks, and anything else I care to plop in the dirt. I see the malva has self seeded in the garden next to the rain gauge. One plant is by the house also.

Rich isn't quite sure as to why I insist on having flowers in the vegetable garden. But why not?

I have to find a spot to plant some squash. I think I'll put them up in the holding pen that isn't being used right now.

Back in 2014 I shared the garden space with some other neighbors. We had a very crowded garden. Their methods for growing were very different than mine, however we did have a great harvest.

Last but not least.
Bugs.
Allie loves bugs and she always finds the most interesting ones.
She brings me May Beetles to see, and then she came down with a stick bug.

It looks like today is going to be mostly dedicated to planting the garden.