Now I prefer the couch.
On nice days She let's me out with Dixie to hike or play in the yard.
What a nincompoop that young dog is!
Dixie races towards me and leaps over me. "Hey, you wacko, stop that!" I growl.
She shakes her jowls and slobber gobber flies.
"What? What? Hey, wanna play?"
"No, I just want to walk around with some dignity." I snap back. "And don't smell my butt!"
However when she gets close enough I do try and sniff hers.
"How come you don't want to walk anymore? Huh?" Dixie trots around me with those long legs of hers, I duck her tail.
"I can't. I don't want to." Tail wagging, who gave these dogs such long dangerous tails?
"You know you have a new important job now that I can't go," I tell her, "She needs watching over. She needs to be taken care of. She needs A LOT of help in the woods you know."
I explain carefully to Dixie what her new duties will be.
Make sure she can find home.
Make sure not to leave her alone too long.
Help her find the right trails.
Dixie listens. I think.
We walk along and I hope Dixie is getting this. It is important I tell her.
She can lose track of time when she is out walking and hiking.
Dixie looks at me. "How come you won't go anymore?"
I sigh, "I am old Dixie. Very old. I can't hike. My teeth are bad, my ears don't hear well, I can't see hardly any more, and I am so tired all of the time."
"Oh." Dixie sits down. She thinks for a bit and then says, "Do I get your house when you leave? Can I have the couch?
"No Dixie, the year you spent in the house? It kind of was a disaster. I mean you never could get it through your head that you didn't just pee at the kitchen door whenever. You need to ask to go out. And believe me, I recall that She said you damn near flooded the place...a LOT!"
Dixie thought about this. "So I can't pee just whenever?"
I take a big breath. She is a big dog, but Dixie is a smart do too. After all she has learned all the sit, stay, heel, and come commands and excels at doing them. I refuse to do that stuff. Humans are to worship me, not the other way around.
"No you can't just pee whenever or where ever. Especially since the house is remodeled. Besides you have a nice house and you can go potty whenever! You don't have to wake up Her to go potty. That is a big bonus." I'm trying to convince her that a yard dog has its advantages.
"If you live inside, they pet you all of the time. Nag, nag, nag. They expect you to play with toys and entertain them with silly things. Then when they don't want to play any more you just are supposed to be quiet." I shake my head. "It is very complicated, Dixie. So many rules."
Dixie smells where I just marked a tree. "Oh that is interesting Morris, but I wouldn't mine the extra petting at all or being silly. Nope, not at all."
I roll my eyes. As Dixie starts to walk away I holler. "BATHS! She would give you lots of baths!"
"Oh, I wouldn't mind. She gave me baths when I was a pup."
I try again. "Um, I doubt you'd get the couch to lay on anyway. You are absolutely Humongous!"
Dixie ignores me and trots towards Her.
"Dixie. When you are out hiking with Her you have to be more patient. MORE patient. She says you come up and whine in her face a lot. You have to just watch her, okay?"
"I do watch her. I also lean into her and try to gobber smack her with slobber. That way she knows I am not running off after scents." Dixie stops what she is sniffing for a moment. "Morris, I can't be you. I am a different kind of dog."
I shake my head. Dixie is different, she is loyal to a fault, she will love with all of her heart. She will do anything she can to please. She will never growl at Her for disturbing her sleep. I take comfort in that because when my time comes SHE will need exactly that. A big dog she can hug and not one that dislikes that. She will need undying love and unbounded energy. She will need the laughs Dixie's flopping ears and jowls make when she runs.
She will need to Dixie to be a distraction from her broken heart. Ick, even if that big stinky dog needs a bath, She won't care.
Whew. All that done, Dixie and I go to the summer garden and hunt mice together. I don't see very well, but she finds a mouse and I grab it. I am happy for us things may just work out eventually.
I may be able to pass on the flame to Dixie.
She would be a good candidate for Her next full time hiking pal.
I get tired and go in the house to sleep on the coveted couch. I could see Dixie sprawled across the couch here...or perhaps at Her feet.
Yes, that could work.