I don't know what for....

It is the nature of the stone to be satisfied.
It is the nature of the water to want to be somewhere else.
~~ Mary Oliver.

It is no secret that I am a fan of Mary Oliver. I have purchased two of her books of poetry. I keep finding parts of her writings that seem to speak to me personally. Of course, I know that she did not write for just me...but to the general public of course.

How do I want to be remembered once I am no longer around? 

I know. Morbid thoughts, right? However I am in a close relationship with two people that are living slow deaths. My MIL has dementia, suspected Alzheimers and my husband was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia from his stroke in 2017. My MIL has marked memory loss and cannot function safely with her health issues safely outside a skilled nursing facility. 
My husband does function fairly well. But eventually he too will fall into 'slippage'. 

How invisible are the elderly and infirm. 
Yet how delightful they still are.

And when is it my turn?
I mean, I can't help but wonder, right?

When it is over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it is over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.
~~ Mary Oliver

I have a collection of her works handy with sticky notes from something I find each time I read through her different works. I mark the place and leave a short not as to how it feels to me.

So begs the question. Will I make an impression on this world? Or my small surroundings? And does it really matter in the end?

And do I really care? 
I go into 'Nature' at least once a day as I explained recently to an ex co-worker. 
I find a way to make 2 hours available to myself in the afternoon to go for a walk or hike. I do it for the fresh air and because for 2 hours I am not caring for another, or planning...

For two hours I am 'mind free' of distractions and have only perhaps Charlie and Sven to keep track of, where my next step is, rock hopping across the creek
listening to the song of the water over the rocks
discovery
wonder
life



Yes. I think that is what Mary Oliver found too. She had poetry to express herself in eloquent words.

I have the camera to express myself.


I think that is good enough.

I leave you with this excerpt from Mary Oliver's poem
1945-1985: Poem for the Anniversary

The way I'd like to go on living in this world
wouldn't hurt anything, I'd just go on
walking uphill and downhill, looking around,
and so what if half the time I don't know
what for--

And I think that sums it up perfectly.

Sharing the Wonder

I went out with Morris on Sunday afternoon. The temperatures had been hovering around 37 degrees and I was hoping for a snow melt. I took the steep trail off the 'point' and dropped down into the valley.

My intention was to go to the east end of the valley and check out the ravine that had blue ice in it a few years ago.

I noticed as we went downstream that the water had little bubbles in it along with areas of foam.
That meant one thing.
The snow was melting and water was running from the ridges down into the creek from the south facing run offs.

Morris and I got to the Big Spring and hiked up to the 'blue' ice ravine only to be disappointed.
I love how the bubbles will swirl and make patterns in portions of the creek.

I put a bright red scarf on Morris so I could keep track of him. I had to tie it back on more than once. By the time we got home, he'd gotten it soaked and muddy.
I guess this dog just loves getting into the creek!

The valley had water slowly moving across the compacted ice. I stopped to catch a reflection of golden rod.

Morris and I headed quickly back towards our fence line. I noticed the water in the creek getting more 'snow bubbles'. A snow melt!

I took this short video with my cell phone. When I looked at the phone I saw that my neighbor had sent me a message saying that she and the littles were up to an adventure if I was willing.

That is sort of code for, "Hey can we come out to play at your place?"

I typed a text message back saying "Of course!". But since I was in the creek bottom it wouldn't send. No signal.
Morris and I climbed the bank and I trotted up the ridge road. Finally Sending Message cleared and I got a new message.

The whole family was going to come was that okay?
I typed a quick reply and watched as the signal disappeared again. Oh how quickly we get used to instant communication!

We met up at the house and returned to the creek. I told Lauren that this was the very first time that I'd ever been able to share 'a snow melt' with anyone.  I was excited.
Her husband had decided to come and it was his first adventure into our creek bottom. As the kids ran and played ahead of us on the ridge road, I pointed out the areas we were going to hike to him.
From the top of the ridge road in the winter you can see the lines of the creek below.

What used to be a solo thing for me suddenly became a shared adventure.

The kids had a grand time and I enjoyed the pleasure of watching everyone explore Awesome Creek.

My neighbor asked her husband if he now understood why she loved going on those night hikes and day hikes with me. He did. I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself and we were happy to have him along as an extra hand with the littlest one.

By the time we got back to the house, Rich had finished chores and was sitting on the tailgate of his truck.
The children ran up to him to show him the amazing rocks they'd found and to tell him about their adventures in The Awesome Creek.

Sharing nature and all of its wonder is not an opportunity I've often had.

It sure was worth it.

~~~~~~~~
This weekend I get to share some more!
We have company coming and our winter snow storm of today will change the landscape once again.