Him: You don't want a pup during this weather you need to wait until spring.
Me: Spring is here. Look at the mud and the weather.
Him: Um. Yeah. Okay. I miss him too.
Me: Too soon?
Him: Big Shrug
I show him some dogs that are up for adoption. He smiles. He knows I can't do without a canine underfoot.
For those who want to tell me that Dixie should come in. Let us recall the size of my cottage and the size of Dixie. Dixie has been an outside dog since she was 4 months old. Let it be my decision.
I've had outside dogs for 20+ years. I've never been without an inside dog. My dog life began the summer we brought home a puppy. I could be wrong, but I think it was about 1967? We added a second dog soon after that.
I think the math puts me as a long time dog owner for what? 51 years?
Maybe I should wait. Maybe I shouldn't. I still listen for that pitter patter on the floor.
I still ache to put my hand down and find a cold wet nose.
I still ache to cuss out Morris for getting me up at 4am to go potty and then insist on eating his breakfast. It was irritating, but it was comforting too.
Me: How about this one?
Him: What is it?
Me: A mixed up dog. Young. 10 weeks?
Him: Well.
Me: Look at that ...
Him: Hmmm, looks like this litter had more than one daddy. [they can you know]
A bit later.
Me: Hey, look at this.
Him: What on earth?
Me: Daschund, beagle, and lab or something?
Him: Odd.
Me: Housebroke.
Him: Ugly, kind of.
Me: Yep. That is cool.
I do some research, this 'ugly' dog is being fostered somewhere near by. I fill out the on line application so I can be background checked. The only thing they don't ask of me is to give over my first born son.
I inquire if I can visit the dog. I'd like to meet him. Perhaps it is not a good fit. But at least I would be satisfying curiosity.
I find another two dogs. Housebroke, spade, neutered, up to date on all the...yadda yadda...
Medium sized. Hmmm. Smaller than Dixie. Energetic like Dixie. I put a note to self to email the place to see if I can drive up there.
We go to bed and lay there talking. His mother and her situation is on our minds. Geographically I am the closest person to help her. Rich can't. But at the same time, I have him to take care of.
This winter has been extremely hard on his well being. He is becoming a bit frail. The COPD, throat cancer, and stroke are not kind to him.
He doesn't want me trying to be his caregiver and his mom's caregiver. Not out of selfishness but out of kindness. He knows how hard it is for me when he has 'episodes'.
He also understands the importance of me being able to hike and exercise for my mental and physical health.
I need to take care of the farm too. The animals need tending.
Which reminds me....looks like a good week for fence mending, fixing, and brush piling.
I may take that drive to look and see.
I may look at the 'ugly' dog.
And I may decide to wait.
Only my heart can decide.