Little Distractions

We are still going through the process of end of life for my husband. 

However, I have so many quiet moments to do nothing in this stage. 

I'm not the sort of person who can simply sit and read all day. If it is sunny or nice out. I sit on the porch next to the window where Rich's bed is and well ~~ I let my mind wander and get creative to give my brain a rest from the stress.

Farmer Bob starts rounding up pumpkins for the fall harvest:

I was able to take my first walk in a week on Tuesday when Tammy came for Respite time. She has a special insight to being a Caregiver as she has worked in this field for 30 years. 8 months ago, she provided end of life care for her husband. 

She insisted that I take Charlie and GET out of the house. She insisted that I take my 'camera stuff' and go out away from the house. 

It felt a bit weird to walk out the door. Tammy promised to call or even honk her car's horn if there was a sudden change in anything. 

I stopped by the Highbush Cranberry Bush to see how the berries were proceeding.

I was mesmerized by studying the light and the berries themselves. I wanted to create/shoot something that would be stunning and memorable to me.

With a bit of camera trickery, using simple changes in position and exposures I managed to get two very different photos of this bunch of Highbush Cranberries. I used the centerfield split diopter filter for the above shot and a slight overexposure.

I took the filter off and changed my position and exposure to get this next shot of the same clump. I like this version best, it speaks of light/darkness/and glowing sunlight.

Accidently I did a shot while moving the camera. 

Then I decided to try an ICM shot. ICM stands for intentional camera movement. That means instead of being still while taking the shot, you move the camera. I had the funky filter on when I did it and loved the results.

The first one was very abstract, something I liked. But it didn't really show what I wanted.

Once more with adjusted settings. Now I can detect the trees and the colors.

Then I took a still photo and combined it with the ICM photo and this resulted.

For whatever reason, I enjoyed doing that. I did this freehand with no tripod as I rarely carry them.

I found some leaves turning red on a damaged wild plum tree from where the loggers had been knocking it about with their skidder or truck while loading logs. I used that funky centerfield split diopter lens once more. It produces a glow of color around the main subject which I'm enjoying at the moment.

I'm a curious photographer and will try many different things to produce an image. The plums from this tree were delicious, I gathered some each time I walked up the road last month and popped them out of their bitter skins into my mouth. The plums were the size of half dollar coins. 

After meeting with the Social Worker, Tammy sent me out again. I walked to a place where I'd take the neighbor kids to play. I found these rubbery somewhat posable robots I'd given them years ago wrapped in some low branches of trees. It was evident that squirrels or other critters had chewed on them.

I decided to bring them home to see if I could get creative with them.

As she left she handed me the toys we'd rinsed off. "I bet you can do something fun with them," she said.

Back out on the porch I went. I used a bit of toothpick magic to make them stand.

My Dancing Robots...

I wanted to be just like them and dance carelessly

in the succulent garden.

They showed me that there is happiness to be found 

and that I could smile at them.

They danced to their inner music with

so much joy.

And off they went hopping and twisting

dancing the day away.

Creating these little scenes while checking on hubby reminded me that there is still some joy in the world. [I haven't watched the news this week at all]

I'll keep these two around for moments of dancing, joy, and bliss.

These days we need something to smile about.

The Porch Guard:

And yes, he is feeling the stress and anxiety too. He is restless and cries often. He waits by the back door most mornings for Steve to show up now.

Or he lays on the couch so he can watch Rich.

Over the past 10 days there have been so many comings and goings. He also enjoys quiet time on the porch where he can just watch his domain from 'his' bench.

Photography and anything I can think up for a bit of creativity is what keeps me somewhat sane right now. The porch is an amazing sanctuary.

Making the most

...out of 4 hours off.

Finally. The weather has broken into something I can live with!

And... I didn't have to run errands when Respite Tammy came on Tuesday!

Instead, I decided to run away from home (figuratively). I wanted to run. You know, really run. 

I decided to take Charlie along. Did you know this little dog can boogie?

When I started down the trail, Charlie was game. He wanted to set the pace. Off we went onto Little Canada trail. A runner passed us going the other way and grinned at us. She was in her cutest running clothes. I was in my cargo pants and T-shirt with my running vest on and a long sleeve shirt tied to my waist.

I certainly did not look anything like an athlete. But watch out for old ladies in disguise.

I let Charlie set the pace and it was impressive for such a short legged dog. Our first mile was around 9 minutes. We did a walk/jog/run thing.

Sometimes I'd tear ahead of him grinning like an idiot and jumping over rocks and roots. Then I'd stop and wait for my buddy. 

Our first 3 miles went pretty quickly. Then we started to just hike with intermittent bursts of joyful speed. 

It was like dancing in a way. We had the woods and trail to ourselves.

I only took my smartphone and supplies in running vest. Charlie wore his beeper collar to prevent him from running off into the woods after a chipmunk. 

I didn't take photos of all the damage done to the trees from that last horrible wind and rain storm. Places along the trail were littered with tops of trees, roots, branches, and areas where a crew had to work for a long time to recover the trail.

Thank you KVR crews, you are as always, awesome.

By mile 3 we slowed down quite a bit. My purpose in covering the first half or so quickly, was so that Charlie and I could look around on our way back through the loop. 

I have 4 hrs. 

There is a 25-30 minute travel time there and back. 

The trail when hiked slowly to look for things can take at least 3 hours. More, if there are a lot of cool things to look at. I had to time things out. Run or hike quickly --- and explore when I saw something.

Of course I brought mini me and mini Charlie.

Since I don't do selfies on the trail, we did mini shots.

Since most of this summer has been too hot for Charlie to get out and hike with me [and I have had very limited time to hike], he got tired. I tied my sleeves of my shirt in a knot and made a sling over my neck for Charlie to rest in. It is easier to carry him that way.

I may look into designing a sling for him out of some long scarves I have.

Charlie is often a good reminder not to be in a rush all of the time.

When we got home, he was tired.

We did it!

So he got some time to chill out in his favorite place.... our little hammock.

Good day...

and Happy International Dog Day on August 26th!

Success

Because I can, I am going to drop a few flower shots on here first.  My morning glories are starting to bloom. The flowers are so brilliant this one was partially open in the downpour we got on Wednesday. Thank goodness for long lenses.

I've planted morning glories in about 4 or 5 places and am enjoying their colors. 

The next two are Love in the Mist.

I really adore the odd shapes of these delicate flowers. The delicate fern like leaves

are just so beautiful.

Meanwhile the moss roses are doing so well. This is my first success at growing them. I spread the seeds in a very large container and waited.  They have not disappointed me at all this year.

Here is a young katydid, I think that was hiding in the moss roses! I almost didn't detect it as it was so well camouflaged.

Well, with the plumber coming any time on Friday, I stayed home for my 'Respite' time. It actually worked out well. When Tammy came [early!], we sat down at our table and we got to know each other for a bit. I told her about the hot water issue.

I decided to do a project that I couldn't do when she wasn't around, like cleaning in the basement. The shop vac makes a lot of noise and I couldn't hear if hubby needed help.

When hubby woke up, she took over and I headed to the basement to purge and clean. Tammy cared for Rich and made Snickerdoodle cookies. 

I helped her familiarize herself with where things were in my kitchen and any other questions she had about cleaning, the commode, laundry, etc. She changed the hospital bed for me and then I showed her how to operate our washing machine.

I lugged 'stuff' out of the basement and dumped it on the porch. More purging. I took out old beat up hunting boots that would never get worn again, cheap snow pants that hubby used ages ago with holes in them.

 
I finally got rid of the chunks of wood that hubby had been saving for 'something' too along with some odd cut small pieces of particle board and plywood. I tossed old hunting sweatshirts that had seen much better days.

 Things that were hanging on pegs in the basement that he'd never use again were purged. None of it was in any condition to be passed on.

I slayed cobwebs with the ShopVac and made sure the area around the questionable water heater was clean and accessible. It was quite the job. I had no interruptions and was able to get the work done efficiently with many trips up and down the stairs and to the back of my Subaru so I could take boxes of stuff to the dump.

Tammy made cookies and did all the things that I normally have to do. Get drinks of water, get a snack, help with this or that. It was like we were working as a team. She had the 'patient' and I had no interruptions.

Her snickerdoodles were amazing. She cleaned up as she went and even changed hubby's bed and made him lunch.  

I finally got to do some of the all the important things that I couldn't get done while caring for hubby.

After lunch, she helped Rich to bed and then asked what else she could do. It was almost her quitting time.

I asked if she could have a seat so we could visit and get to know each other. I had this feeling that she could have a lot of helpful things to share.

She and I are of the same generation. We both grew up in similar ways. We don't let things go to waste. 

She is a grandma that legally adopted her grandkids. She cared for her 'kids' and her husband while he was in Hospice. She had been certified as a Caregiver and has worked in different areas as well as a local Senior Assisted Living place not far from her home. 

We talked a lot about Hospice and our shared experience, also of what she had gone through. We ended up feeling more like kindred spirits. What a relief to know that my feelings, my experiences, my doubts, angst, frustrations, and emotional ups and downs are very normal. We found a sister like bond in our lives.

We had a very interesting conversation that I'll write about later. 

As she was leaving and the Plumber was arriving, I said to her that the most important part of our Respite time together was her support, her experiences and our talk. I didn't feel alone in this journey any more.

It is one thing to read about or share experiences virtually, but to sit down face to face with someone else who has been there and has gone through it is much more valuable.

Paul the Plumber came and tested the heater. He measured the water temp still in the heater at 140 F! That after it being turned off for 24 hours.
He changed the thermostats on the elements and emptied out the scalding water so we could make sure that the water heated to the right temperature.

Charlie adores Paul and sits in the basement to watch Paul work. 

By 2pm, my day was done and I was ready to sit down and read a book. The yard mowing could wait another day.

I considered yesterday as a good day.

For myself

I gave myself the gift of a hike on Friday when Shay came for her 4 hours of Respite. I could have chosen to go work out, get groceries, shop, run errands, and do all of those proper things.

But I decided to use my time doing my favorite sport. 

Hiking.

I chose this loop trail at the Kickapoo Valley Reserve because I've done it a few times and I know I can finish it and get back home in the time I've been allotted.

It was also a great way to try out the 'hydration' vest I'd gotten on sale last year. These are normally very very pricey but I nailed one at REI for only about $25. The vest fits like a vest and carries water bottles and essentials in several pockets.

Last year on my last distance hike, I wore a back pack with my supplies and towards the end of the 11+ miles, my shoulders and lower back ached like crazy. My son suggested one of these and I am so pleased to have it.

Anyway, here is a selfie of me wearing the pack while on the trail.

 [I used a little bendy tripod that wrapped around a sapling to take this shot.]

Everything I needed fit in the vest. Soft water bottles, snacks, wallet, phone, first aid kit, bug spray, emergency rain poncho, and my mini Joby tripod. Clipped to the vest was my emergency Bivvey Bag and my PLB [Personal Locator Beacon].

I didn't look exactly fashionable, but who cares? 

I was hiking on the Reserve enjoying the morning air and the sounds of birds.

I went up and down hills and walked above the river and then into the valley and along the river. My feet got wet from the rain and dew but I was never uncomfortable ... and the insects were not bad except in one area.

Most of the walk was done with periods of light rain. Perhaps that is why I had the place to myself. I don't mind the rain.

This old oak pictured below has always attracted my attention while hiking through. I think I finally got a decent portrait of this tree. I call it my Megan tree. My daughter in law likes neat trees and I think of her each time I pass by this one.

In my imagination, the tree is reaching out and letting me know that it approves of my activity. Hike and leave no trace.

The sun actually peeked out of the clouds as I was nearing the end of the hike.

I found fungi but not as much as I thought I might. Still, the bright colors caught my eye.

And this Jelly Fungi caught someone else's eye!

I was relaxed and chilled out by the time I got home. I had a good dose of 'forest bathing'. Well, a good dose of Me Time. I wasn't even tired or worn out.

I was happy. The vest worked out so well, by back and shoulders never even got angry with me. My feet trucked along as I enjoyed the surround sound of birds.

I used my Merlin Bird app to figure out what I was hearing deep in the forest. Ever hear of an Ovenbird???

Apparently there was a Veery an Eastern Wood - Peewee, and an Eastern Towhee within earshot. I heard them and saw only a flicker of movement. I had just been enjoying all of the birdsong and forest noises.

I had a very relaxing morning.

Me Time had worked out exceptionally well.

 

The Trillium Hunt....

First off...
we had these guys

visit !!!!

Indigo Buntings!

These blue beauties visited for a day and then...well, we haven't seen them again at the feeders. However blue was the theme of the day as Blue Birds flew through in groups. Hopefully some stayed again this year.

Friday morning I had to make a decision. Did I want to go look for Trillium and other Ephemeral flowers? Or did I want to go to the gym and work my butt off and then go shopping. 
Bleh.

Decisions, Decisions.

Shay, the Home Health Aide was curious. She doesn't have a background in nature, but she knows a lot about home health care. I explained I needed [was driven] to go find Ephemeral flowers that would only present themselves for a few weeks...and then...
I'd have to wait for another spring.

Charlie and I hit the ground running [okay walking fast] when we got to KVR. Years ago when I started my Trail Challenge, I'd randomly chosen the West Ridge Trail to start one of my mid May hikes. I recall seeing more Trillium that I'd ever seen in my life.

At that time I was hiking with my friend Bill and we were putting in 'mileage' and not concentrating on the wildflowers. Covid was ravaging the country and we were doing Distance Hiking.  

Anyway... I have never gotten back to that area in May. I've gone to other spots and have been overwhelmed by Virginia Bluebells and Spring Beauties. I decided to go see if I could get lucky with the Trillium.

I hit the Jackpot!

I hit the Jackpot in several ways.

We were surrounded by everything wild and flowering.

Here is a shot of Charlie On Guard. We were sitting on the forest floor when suddenly we heard something crashing through the forest. It literally sounded like an elephant. I saw it was a large doe running straight at us like a ninny.

I raised my hands and hollered, "Hey!" The doe never missed a step, but instead of running through us, she took a hard left and disappeared through the forest. 

Charlie growled and jumped into my lap. Brave dog that he is. I can't say that I've ever experienced that before.

It seems that finding spring forest flowers has become an obsession of mine.

Last year, I'd chosen a different trail to find Trillium. I found a few but the choices of light, position, and interesting-ness of shooting them was not very good.
This year I was so overwhelmed with choices and opportunities.

Even better?
Charlie and I were the only ones there. We spent two hours alongside this trail and never encountered another human or animal. We did hear a variety of birds and an owl.

I did wish I'd had ALL day. Charlie and I had a snack, watched our time and got home on schedule.

I may have satisfied my Trillium Itch for this year and will send myself a note to make sure I go back to this trail next year.

Trilliums....☑

Next wild flowers up will be the Wild Geraniums.