Sunday was cold and windy. I had so much to get done in the morning which included electric fence repairs.
My Grand Plan was to head out early to the Reserve and see if I could spot red wing black birds and maybe check out the ponds to see if any geese or swans had arrived.
All that went ka-put. After lunch I had to call my elder friend in Alabama. She was having a bad day so we talked for an hour. She is in her mid 80's and was telling me that she had not gone out to do anything in weeks. She forgets to eat, she is isolated she says, and depressed. She used to be a librarian, so I asked her where the nearest library was. Her answer was 3 blocks. I asked her if she'd go to the library and just go find a book and sit at a table and read.
Why? She asked me. I told her...so she could be around other humans.
I asked her to visit her meal site once this week and text me what she had to eat. I gave her two assignments or as I called them: Challenges for Motivation.
I had to agree to let her set a Challenge for me too. She wanted me to send her a photo of me in Mobility Class.
So today I was at CF and did Mobility Class afterwards. My coach Angie took these photos for me.
Mobility Class:
Shoulder Rotations
After class.
One of my little pals,
coach's daughter.
Am I going to be successful in helping someone a long distance away get Motivated? I sure don't know, but I like my Alabama friend. It is unfortunate that she has no immediate relatives to help her look out for herself. She is also fiercely independent so it is hard for her to ask for help.
This is the woman who was Captain of an Oil Rig in the Gulf when she was in her 30's. Mind you, that was over 50 years ago!
So. After my motivational talk. I packed my camera bag and headed out the door in the late afternoon to get myself moving.
I knocked off another section of the KVR Trail Challenge and enjoyed fresh cold air. I took what I think is a boring trail. It was so far from boring!
I will let these photos speak for themselves. This is along what is called the Old Harrison Trail. It leaves the Visitor Center and heads down towards the valley. It was a road once upon a time. On one side, it is marshy and wet, on the other side there are rocks and trees.
The huge surprise was the icicles on the rocks.
With the recent alternating snows and rains water has been seeping from the rocks around pines clinging to the rocks...
I found two pairs of Canada Geese:
I saw red dogwood, the pussy willows are starting to blossom, and there were some other trees budding that I couldn't ID.
I even took a photo of myself next to the Kickapoo River and sent it to my friend to make her day a little happier?
I do wonder how I can help my friend and motivate her to go to the meal site and interact with others.
I know motivation has to come from within and cannot be forced.
Sigh.
I am a curious person who likes to explore and be social too. I cannot imagine losing something so precious as motivation. It would crush my life.
I heard but did not see a red wing black bird today on my run. I agree that just getting out is one of the best therapies for people who have lost motivation. She sounds like a Go-Getter when she was young. And reading in a library with people walking around is surprisingly calming. Good advice! But you are also right that everyone has to make certain journeys alone. Mom always said," you can lead a horse to water, but can't make them drink." I'm sure this works for a mule... or even any 80 year old friend. hehe.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your being there for your friend. It's a circle -- depression means lost appetite, forgetting to eat, which leads to more etc. If she can just walk a little outside, that can help. I like your suggestion of going to the library. I am also old, live alone, and have to drive to the nearest library.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I just sit there and knit, being out where there are people even if you do nothing more than say hello, is good. The walk there and home in itself will be valuable. I hope she does it. Coming home after a little expedition is nice! Please let her know another old lady wishes her well, if the occasion arises.
Thanks, I do hope she follows through, but it is hard. She used to walk all over the place so I am hoping this moves her.
DeleteI deal with motivational issues with hubby and work hard at assisting him.
I envision taking her hand and walking with her to the library to help her the first time.
But I'm too far away. :(
I am so sorry about your friend. What a challenge. It is hard to help with her depression from afar. Your suggestions are awesome. I like that she challenged you, too; she is engaging with you and has to meet your expectations since you met hers. Baby steps. I hope she follows through. You are awesome.
ReplyDeleteDepression and isolation are so difficult for some older folks. I saw my MIL go through the same stages. She refused to even go down the hall to where they served lunch in her apartment because she -- wasn't hungry -- was too tired -- it was too much trouble.
DeleteMy fingers are crossed.
You are making a difference in her life. Even if she doesn't take action this time. Of course, I hope she does. It is a scary world and everyone needs help at some point and time in their life. If only there was a neighbor that was willing to check in on her, or an organization that helps with elderly wellness. We had to take & walk my mom in/out of her book group at the library in her later years, or she wouldn't go. But what does one do when you have no one?
ReplyDeleteGlad you still found time to get out to KVR and explore!
There is a complicated issue regarding neighbors and I can only refer her to help in her area. I've provided her with phone numbers of her state's version of ADRC.
DeleteI am most certain that you have made a difference in the life of your friend. Your thoughtfulness will go a long way. Keep us posted. Lori
ReplyDeleteWe have been talking once a week now for 3 years! So it is fun!
DeleteIt's always sad when there is no family to support/interact with the elderly. Good for you for making those great suggestions for your friend, I hope she follows through. Even just talking to you must brighten her day.
ReplyDeleteVery true. Thank you.
DeleteWow look at the ice! I hope you can keep your friend motivated, perhaps an activity together maybe reading the same book? You are a great motivator!! :)
ReplyDeleteYikes. That would be okay, I'd have to read some sort of historical non fiction book. LOL. Not my style, but I sure can try!
DeleteI guess many of us have some days where we lose our spirit and motivation but I hope I never have a time when I lose it altogether. I hope your friend finds it again. Love the icicles!
ReplyDelete