Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Storms inside and Out

Last week was a blur. Did we really have nearly 65 degree weather and then have a snow/ice/rain storm come in that lasted from Wednesday to Friday?

Ice bombs smacked the house with high winds in the middle of the night and Charlie and I were positive that we'd have trees or something awful falling in on top of us at any moment.
In the morning when we went outside the winds were ferocious and we still had to 'dodge' the falling chunks of ice.





I knew that after the storm settled down, I'd have a lot of work to do checking the fencing and perhaps pulling large chunks of trees off the electric fence.

The weather service had said we'd get a tenth of an inch of ice. Hmmm.

Well, no wonder we were suffering ice bombs from the trees! I reattached the fence and cleared ice off the lines after the snow/rain stopped. 

I knew the snow and ice wouldn't stick around very long and I was right. By this morning it was gone.

I spent Monday cleaning up most of the debris that was left over in the yard. 

Depression is like a storm too. It is internal and can't be seen. It can swallow a person whole and those around them in a vortex of darkness....

Yesterday we had to go see Rich's old Psychiatrist. Okay, the guy isn't old. It was a doctor he saw for a long time. Dr. S. left the VA and went to New Zealand for a while and returned.
At the last appointment with Dr. Todd, ... Dr. Todd asked Rich if he'd like to see Dr. S again. We jumped at the chance.
Dr. S 'gets' Rich and they have a good relationship. Dr. Todd is fine, but he doesn't seem to 'understand' Rich that well and how could he from just reading his file and knowing him for only a year.

Let me say that the appointment yesterday gave me a bit of hope to help Rich get out of this horrible slump of depression. 

I like to believe in... hope.

Rich is in that horrid hell hole of a black hole where there is no bottom and no top. No light, no hope.
They are doing another consult to see if another Ketamine infusion will help and this doctor feels that he should have them on a more regular basis and not just a once off.

Dr. S put it succinctly. 
"Your body has betrayed you, your mind is not letting you focus on thoughts and you are in there fighting each moment of every day trying to find something. Trapped inside with no light at all. It must be pure Hell."


And this afternoon? 
More storms of the rain/thunder/lightening kind.


2 comments:

  1. A small ray of hope with the returning Doctor and the Ketamine...I do hope all goes well. We had rain today. It is better than snow. Seemed just as cold:(

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  2. Anonymous5:58 PM

    Wonderful that the doc that 'gets' Rich is back. I hope all improves.

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