I should say I'm guilty.
I feel guilty.
Yet I feel somewhat invigorated.
Temperatures and humidity were somewhere on the side of awful when I got home from work this afternoon.
Badger was showing stress. His meds were handling his Equine COPD or RAO ... just barely. He was in a state of stress. I was devastated...yet...
I felt this urgent need to ride.
After doing chores and making supper, I walked outside.
Hubby told me to take Opal.
After all, she is an elder mule. A known factor, a steady mule.
I took Siera.
Why?
Divine intervention,.... me thinks.
I had not ridden her since September of 2009.
But I had this feeling ... this feeling ...
that she and I understand each other...
maybe stupid,
maybe I'm right...
hell, I don't know, but when I saddled her and got on...
it was like...
well.
She understood what I wanted and needed.
So figure that out.
How could a mule figure out what I needed?
Not possible.
How could a green mule possesse the self confidence to patiently stare down all the neighbor's dogs...and the nieghbors who decided to walk up to her and stroke her head?
How could Siera patiently stand while I talked with the neighbors and explained why I wasn't riding their favorite mule, Badger?
How could Siera stand quietly and put her head gently against my shoulder while I explained that Badger had a 'lung disease' which prevented him from being his normal 'active' self.
I headed home after dark with a half moon as my guide.
Siera and I had gone across the 'BIG BLACKTOP' road. We'd faced down children, adults, neighbors, big scary vehicles, and dogs [not to mention cattle].
This is her 10th ride with me.
She handled it like a pro.
Does she know that I suffer such great grief over Badger's health issues?
Or by some divine intervention ~~ has she placed herself as my next best buddy and riding friend?
[Yeah...she loves Morris and will tolerate him on her back or on the trail...not something other mules will tolerate.]
I feel guilty for admiring Siera.
Yet I am in awe of her like I have been with Badger for the past 13 yrs.
Why did she come into my life?
Why does she look at me and speak volumes without a word?
Why is my heart breaking, yet rejoicing?
I am confused.