Getting Stung on the Bum ~ by Morris

She is at it again.
Putting on her camera backpack and her gun belt.

I sit in my crate shivering. Trying to 'mind meld' with her [pretty hard to mind meld with a human...and a female human at that!].
I'm sending her subliminal messages.

TAKE ME
TAKE ME
TAKE ME!!

Lo and behold, she opens my door and asks if I'd like to come along!
Like.
DUH!

She announces that we are taking a hike to finish cleaning up her mule trail in the Big Woods.

Off we go. I'm happy running circles of course and racing down the old donkey trail through the little meadow.
So much to smell and mark, so little time...as she
keeps calling me to hurry it up.
Females.

We get to the creek bottom soon enough and she just marches along through the water, nagging at me to keep up.
What...!
Is this a nice hike or what?

She must have read my itty bitty mind as she grabs out her very awesome and sharp looking 'camp saw'.
She attacks berry briars, burdock, and multiflora rose that are hanging over 'her' mule trail.
She goes at it like a fury.

I hang back and watch, happy to stay out of the blade's way.

Wow. She can really go at it.

We follow the mule ~ deer trail and she stops to take a picture of some really ugly fungi. She says it was so ugly, it was kinda cute.

Whatever.

As we head towards home ... I mean she is doing the marchin' thing. No stopping and looking around, this is a female on a mission.
No time for rolling in icky stuff or sniffin' and enjoyin'.

As we get towards the end of the trail near the driveway I start poking my nose down in all the fallen apples.

Suddenly my butt is just burning and on fire!
I take off like a bat...well you know.

SHE calls me back! I make a big circle trying to bite my rear end.
Wow, it keeps burning and burning.

Like a good dog I run up to her. She bends down and plucks a wasp off my butt with her gloved hand.

...and for the first time on our hike she is all nicey like.
She pets me and gives me a big hug [even though I'm muddy].

She promises me another day in the woods were we can have more fun and I can roll in icky stuff.

Wow.
She even said that.

I didn't know getting stung on the bum would make her so sympathetic.
She must really do love me a lot.

I'm a happy dog.

How To Get Rid of Your Husband...

...for the day.
Shame on you for thinking anything else!!!

Wife gets home from a midnight shift and mentions to husband that she 'heard' from a co-worker who is a competitive fisherman about some great places to fish from the shore.

Husband gets this funny smile on his face and says, *Well you know I was thinkin' that it was too muddy after all of that rain we just got. I wouldn't be able to do much around here.*

Wife smiles broadly. *Yep, too muddy.*

Husband. *Well I could go fishin' for a bit to see what's biting while you are sleeping.*

Wife hides the smile and looks as though she is contemplating something seriously. *You know, I think that is a brilliant idea. Really I do.*

Husband hides his smile and then can't hold it back. *You don't mind?*

Wife makes a big yawn and waves her hand. *I really do think you should go and have a great time.*

Husband packs up the truck and Wife shows him how to work the cell phone.
Wife waves as Husband is grinning ear to ear as he drives off in the truck.

Wife sits a moment and admires the quiet of the house. Then looks around and gathers up laundry, vacuums, and sweeps floors.
How nice it is not to have Husband underfoot ... and the household chores go quickly.

Fishing.
Wife thinks that she perhaps she can convince him to do this a bit more often.
She smiles.

Chores are done.
House is cleaned [mostly].
Laundry is hanging on the line...and it is only 11 AM.

The house is peaceful and quiet.
It is nap time.

Review of Topaz BW Effects

Topaz has just come out with Topaz B&W Effects Plug in . Below is a quick edit using the Presets in the Traditional Collection.

There are many fine tuning sliders that will assist you along with presets under each of the Effects.
On the right hand side of the working window, there are even more ways to adjust your image:
Conversion
Creative Effects
Local Adjustments
&
Finishing Touches

I did this B&W using just the basics.


Original Photo:


Thank you Topaz for coming out with this new plug in!

Topaz BW Effects is fun, is awesome.

Topaz Sepia


I used a bit of the 'burn' brush across the top of the clouds. This is found in the left panel under Local Adjustments.

I really liked the Sepia look so I decided to get a bit more creative with it. I went back into the BW Effects and retraced my efforts in creating the above Sepia picture.

Snapshot of the BW Effects working space:
It is hard to see here, but I'd chosen Toned Collection here and dropped to presets and used *Sepia I*.
Next I went to the Adjustment panel on the right.
Under Conversion, I changed the Adaptive Exposure.
Then I dropped to Creative Effects and chose Diffusion. I moved the sliders about until I got the effect ~~ a pseudo Orton Effect on the image...then hit the OK button.

This is the result with Diffusion:

Topaz B&W Effects however adds many presets and effects than can really change the appearance of the photo.
You can go wild, or you can go strictly photographic.

This one was done using the Stylized Collection, Preset of Graphic Dreams.

It truly is a fun plug in to explore and the introductory price isn't too shabby either.

It only took me about 5 minutes of playing with this to decide that I needed to add it to my collection of Topaz Plug ins.

How To Get Your Sink Fixed ... Plumbing Ideas...

To understand this whole post you must go and read Why You Must Eat Ice Cream first...
this really explains what I am about to tell you.

Today is August 28th.
I first reported this plumbing issue to my husband on May 2nd.
You do the math.


Last week hubby takes another look at the leak under the sink and decides that it is the result of an old faucet. The 'something or another' has gone bad and that is causing the leak.

Day one.
Check out the faucet and let it sit for a few days.
I think perhaps the faucet has to absorb the news that soon it will be HISTORY!
But we don't want to hurt its feelings and remove it too fast.
Day Two.
New Faucet is in hand. Wife is happy.
Hubby is still analyzing the issue.

Wife takes all the items out from under the sink and makes sure hubby has plenty of room to work.

She even moves ALL the 'under the sink' items to the middle of the living room floor so everyone has to walk around it...
she slyly makes sure that it is even in the way!

Day 5.
Wife is now used to brushing her teeth in the kitchen.
Hubby proclaims that indeed it is the faucet, trips over 'stuff' in the living room.
The dog tosses his toys in the 'stuff' on the floor and knocks over baby powder.
PUFF!

Day 6.
Hubby pronounces that it is the connection thingy under the sink that is leaking. Turns off hot water so it won't leak. Says we need a gasket thing or something.

Wife brushes teeth and washes face in the kitchen, while gritting her teeth, of course.
Dog tosses his Hedgehog toy into the 'stuff' pile and knocks over the Comet Cleanser.
Wife smiles,... of course the carpet needed vacuuming and she is so grateful to dog.

Day 7.
The gasket thingies show up on the sink.
Wife wonders where in the heck does hubby find this stuff.
Hubby answers with glee...
...in the stuff ..
in the garage of course.
Dog tosses rope toy into 'stuff' and tips over Noxzema bottle.

Day 8.
Faucet is fixed!
Whoo!
But.
There is still a leak under the sink.
Hubby says the gasket thingies are replaced and proudly places...
a Gustafson's Ice Cream bucket back under the leak.
Wife gives Dog evil eye and dog does not play with his toys.
Wife merrily brushes her teeth in the kitchen before going to work.

Day 9.
Wife comes home.
Stares at dog and pile of 'stuff' in the middle of the floor.
Hubby smiles and proudly produces a wrench to fix the leak in the pipes under the sink.

Wife watches with interest.
Hubby does the 'leak' test.

Hubby pronounces that perhaps he has fixed the leak.

Wife smiles.

Maybe the ice cream bucket can be removed soon.
Maybe...
she can brush her teeth in the bathroom again.

...and maybe she can put the 'stuff' away and avoid more dog-toy accidents!

A Trip to the Secret Place...by Morris

I was watchin' her.
Careful like..one eye barely open..., while holdin' down the couch.

Okay, laugh....

holdin' down the couch may not be an important job you think...but you ought to know that there was an earthquake in Virginia today.
SHE says that is where her brother lives.

HE has cats.
Enough about that.

Anyway so I was figuring in case there was some sort of after shock in the Midwest, I ought to nap on the couch and weight it down.
You see?

Well, SHE got on her pistol and grabbed the backpack that has cameras in it. I knew awful sudden like that
the couch would just have to be
on
its
own.

I was goin' on an adventure with HER. I ran in circles until I nearly tripped her.
That got her attention very nicely.
SHE cussed at me.
Out the door I sprinted and then spun around to make sure SHE was coming.
Oh there were so many things to 'mark' and sniff.
It was glorious.
It was also pretty darned hot.

I ran ahead of her on the trail and headed down towards the creek where I knew the water would be cold and would taste delicious.
If I got far enough ahead of HER I could find something disgusting to roll in before SHE saw.

We spent a lot of time down in the Creek.
SHE sat on a rock in a spot SHE calls 'HER secret place'.
SHE says it is a place where cell phones don't work, where the only sounds are the creek and the wind [plus the birds]...

a place where she can close her eyes and just relax and not think of anything important.

SHE told me that everyone needs a 'Secret Place' where they can go to for a little escape every now and again.

Oh don't get me wrong, I like the 'Secret Place' all right.
But when we got back, I was pretty wore out.

I had to get back to the hard business of 'holding' the couch down.
I'm not sure what my 12 pounds will do to help out...but you know...every
dog needs an important job.

Earning Trust

When we got Opal years ago, she was a 'dysfunctional' mule.
Simply put, she hated people.
She distrusted them.
Any person.
Male.
Female.

Yet once caught, she was an exceptional ride.
She reined and spun on a dime.
She could do barrels, poles, and cut cattle.

She was 'hot', always ready to burst out and go hard.
She'd climb anything you pointed her at.
The perfect mule.
Except you could not catch her, she was terribly ear-shy, and well...you know the rest.
Last night I caught her.
I simply walked out and called her name.

She walked up to me.
I saddled her and we went for an evening ride.
When I put her back in the Meadow, she simply stood by the gate.

I walked away and then turned back.
Would she?
I went through the gate and she came to me.
I rubbed her head, stroked her poll and ears. I gave her a good thorough ear rubbing.
She groaned and leaned forward.

I ran my hands all over her.
She sighed.

I finally had to tell her good-bye as the light was fading.
She stood and watched me.

Finally.
Finally.
I had earned her trust?

Thank you Opal for letting me earn my way into your heart and for giving people ... one person, a second chance.

A walk with friends

Tonight I went out to the 'Merry Meadow'...[sorry folks, but my Grand daughter Ariel came up with that name and by goodness, it sure has stuck! Thank you so MUCH Ariel!]...

I just wanted to check on Opal and Badger who are out with the jennet donkeys.

Morris and I stood near the fence in the meadow. I called out to Badger and Opal.
I hadn't touched Opal since our ride on the 16th.

I was wondering if she'd actually come to me ... or fall back on her old ways of being dodgy and wild.

To my utter surprise she followed Badger and walked right up to me. No snort, or hesitation at all on her part.

As a test, I just reached out and began to rub her head between her eyes and up over her ears.
[Normally, you have to offer the back of your hand and let her smell it ... she will back off and then come forward after a snort or two.]

She just leaned into my hand.
My other hand was busy rubbing Badger on the nose.

Morris trotted around the two mules panting and looking happy.

I turned and checked Badger's respiration rate and did a pulse check. It isn't the best, but he's gained a tad bit of weight and seems quite content to graze and not work at all.

To my surprise Opal moved closer in to me and nudged my hand with her nose.
If I'd had false teeth, they would have fallen out of my mouth.

I petted her on the neck and headed back towards the gate.
On my right, Badger 'heeled' to my shoulder.
On my left, Opal 'heeled' to my other shoulder.

If I stepped slightly in one direction or another, they both maintained position.
I wanted to laugh.

Morris ran circles.
I wanted to shout out to the world about how Opal was now my friend.

Instead of shouting, I went through the gate and did a 'happy dance' all the way back to the house.