Listen to silence
it has much
to say...
~Rumi
He hit the button and it wouldn't start. The maintenance guy had told me to start and use it every two to three weeks. I know I should have gone out and done it myself last week, but I met with fierce resistance from the other half. He has forgotten that I used the skid steer for a year while he was recovering from his stroke and pulmonary emboli.
I helped him get out of the skid steer and we headed back towards the house. He barely made it even with his little oxygen pack. I opened the door and with muddy boots and all, he collapsed on the couch while I hooked up the concentrator. I stuck the oximeter on his finger and watched as his 02 came up from 77 and his heart rate evened out.
He then instructed me to put the skid steer on a charger and get it fired up. I am not comfortable about doing things like that and he is not up to it.
I then wondered why on earth are we even keeping that piece of machinery? Why not sell it and or trade it in for a UTV?
I know how the discussion would go anyway. He is not ready to let it go. And who am I to discourage it? He feels he can still do stuff.
I did suggest that he do more walking in the house than sitting and watching hours of TV so that he could get the ability to walk out to the shed to use his riding mower.
That was met with a look of distain and crossed arms.
So I decided to be quiet and not say anymore. If I can get that sucker running again, I'll just start it up and deal with it.
Eventually, I'll get things sorted. But for peace in the house, I decided to remain quiet.
His brain says he can, his body says no and he is fighting that idea. After all, wouldn't we all?
I put on my muddin' boots and headed out to take a short walk.
The chickadees were singing. The crow called out, and a red tail hawk swooped over the meadow.
Listen to silence...
well there really wasn't any sounds of silence...
well there really wasn't any sounds of silence...
but I listened to the forest and it helped...
Welcome to March
(virtual hug). It has to be so frustrating for both of you. He is blessed to have you there for him. I am glad you have your beautiful outdoors to rest your soul.
ReplyDeleteAs frustrating as it is, I am so lucky to have him still with me in my life. I read your posts and they touched me deeply.
DeleteVenting is healthy. It will all work out. Hopefully the warmer weather will improve everything. You need to go out and listen to the birds as often as possible.
ReplyDeleteWalking everyday helps with the muscles so you don't get so weak...but I don't need to tell you that. Sometimes a walker helps...mostly for the seat to sit and rest and catch your breath. Some jobs are just real hard to do.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, do what you can.
Thanks. I have no idea how to motivate him.
DeleteIt must be discouraging to move when it is so exhausting. Tough situation. Just like with kids (or anyone) you gotta find what makes them tick to encourage them to do things they would rather not do. Easier said than done.
ReplyDeleteFor Rich, it sounds like his skid steer motivates him. Making it harder to let go of. I wonder if he experienced having a UTV he would see the benefits first hand. Kinda like the bird feeder. It sure would be useful with the critters etc.
Thank goodness for nature and it's healing properties!
You are spot on.
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